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What Type of Lesbian Am I?

Take this quiz to find your queer identity!

There are so many different ways to be lesbian, and they’re all worth celebrating. Are you a total femme princess? Or are you more a butch prince? Something else?

Answer these quick questions, and we’ll tell you what kind of lesbian you are!

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Questions Overview

1. Which of these best describes your bedroom right now?
  1. It's a palace filled with all my favorite objects, and everything is where it belongs.
  2. It's kind of just a normal bedroom, tbh.
  3. It's my nest. A little messy, but feels just like home.
2. When you have a crush, do you ever make the first move?
  1. Nah, I wait for them to come to me.
  2. Yes, I make the first move! You should chase what you want.
  3. It depends on the person, honestly.
3. Choose a top that you'd wear:
  1. Just a plain T-shirt. Simple, easy, no-nonsense.
  2. A flowery, flowy blouse that ripples in the wind.
  3. A tank top that shows off my arms.
  4. A button-down that's sensible but not too serious.
4. What kind of makeup do you like to wear?
  1. I like to wear a full face of glam! Lashes, lipstick, blush, the whole package.
  2. I don't really wear makeup, honestly. Not my style.
  3. I go for a natural, low-makeup look.
5. Choose an accessory:
  1. Big hoop earrings that scream luxurious style.
  2. A chunky watch that gleams in the sun.
  3. Long, manicured nails with fun art.
  4. A locket necklace with a photo of my loved one.
6. Choose a hobby you enjoy or want to get into:
  1. Hiking or camping
  2. Painting or drawing
  3. Gardening
  4. Dancing
7. Choose a first date:
  1. Attending a softball game.
  2. Watching a romcom.
  3. A romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant.
  4. Going to a local concert.
8. You're going out for the night! What shoes are you wearing?
  1. Heels
  2. Sneakers or tennis shoes
  3. Boots
  4. Sandals
9. Choose a gift you'd want to receive from your partner:
  1. An overflowing bouquet of roses.
  2. A puppy! Or a kitty!
  3. A nice hat. Bonus points if it's a snapback.
  4. A heartfelt note.
10. If you're in a relationship and someone asks, "Who's the man in the relationship?" what are you thinking?
  1. I roll my eyes. It doesn't work like that!
  2. I am, of course! I'm the prince.
  3. My partner! I'm the princess.
  4. We take turns.
11. How would you describe your dating style?
  1. I'm super romantic, but I keep it chill.
  2. I'm looking for a movie romance that lasts forever.
  3. I want to keep it casual. I'm here for fun.
  4. I'm not super focused on dating.
12. Thoughts on astrology?
  1. It's real and it's true and it works. I'd stake my life on it.
  2. It's a fun way to get to know yourself, but it's not that serious.
  3. I'm anti-astrology. I don't have time for all that.
  4. I don't really care any which way.

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You might also have a butch personality, which can mean you take a more active role in your relationships, make the first move, or are into more \"masc\" interests, hobbies, and careers.

There are loads of ways to be butch, and there's no one single definition, but the general idea is that you embrace a more masculine energy, whatever that means to you! Check out these subcategories, and see if you identify with any of them:

  • \"Dapper butches\" have a heightened, more refined style.<\/li>
  • \"Stone butches\" focus on giving rather than receiving pleasure.<\/li>
  • \"Sporty butches\" are interested in sports and athletics.<\/li>
  • \"Hey Mama lesbians\" are butches that are especially suave and full of swagger.<\/li><\/ul>
    There's no right or wrong way to be lesbian, and there's no right or wrong way to be a butch. If the label feels comfy, roll with it! If it doesn't, leave it behind and blaze your own trail. That's part of pride!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lesbian"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Butch-Lesbian"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Be a Lesbian","id":930404,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lesbian","relUrl":"\/Be-a-Lesbian","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Be-a-Lesbian-Step-17-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-a-Lesbian-Step-17-Version-4.jpg","alt":"How to Be a Lesbian"},{"title":"How to Be a Butch Lesbian","id":509567,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Butch-Lesbian","relUrl":"\/Be-a-Butch-Lesbian","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/04\/Be-a-Butch-Lesbian-Step-16.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-a-Butch-Lesbian-Step-16.jpg","alt":"How to Be a Butch Lesbian"}],"minimum":0,"image":"Be-a-Butch-Lesbian-Step-15.jpg","image_url":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Be-a-Butch-Lesbian-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-460-329-439px-Be-a-Butch-Lesbian-Step-15.jpg"},{"number":2,"text":"You\u2019re probably a femme!","meaning":"A femme is a lesbian who typically presents themself as more on the feminine side of the spectrum. You might be someone who dresses more \"femme,\" like in dresses and blouses, or you might style yourself with long hair, jewelry, or other looks that many see as feminine.

    You might also have a femme personality, which can mean you take a more passive role in your relationships, like to be courted, or are into more \"femme\" interests, hobbies, and careers.

    There are loads of ways to be femme, and there's no one single definition, but the general idea is that you embrace a more feminine energy, whatever that means to you! Check out these subcategories, and see if you identify with any of them:
    • \"Lipstick lesbians\" embrace traditional feminitity while putting their own queer spin on it.<\/li>
    • \"High femmes\" take the feminine angle a little more seriously, and like to max out on the feminine aesthetics and personality traits.<\/li>
    • \"Hard femmes\" have an edgier feel to their femininity, like punks or alt girls.<\/li>
    • \"Stone femmes\" focus on giving rather than receiving pleasure.<\/li>
    • \"Sporty femmes\" are interested in sports and athletics.<\/li>
    • \"Lazy\" or \"low femmes\" like the feminine label, but don't worry too much about conforming to it.<\/li><\/ul>
      There's no right or wrong way to be lesbian, and there's no right or wrong way to be a femme. If the label feels comfy, roll with it! If it doesn't, leave it behind and blaze your own trail. That's part of pride!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lesbian"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lipstick-Lesbian"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Be a Lesbian","id":930404,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lesbian","relUrl":"\/Be-a-Lesbian","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Be-a-Lesbian-Step-17-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-a-Lesbian-Step-17-Version-4.jpg","alt":"How to Be a Lesbian"},{"title":"How to Be a Lipstick Lesbian","id":689338,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lipstick-Lesbian","relUrl":"\/Be-a-Lipstick-Lesbian","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c1\/Do-an-Ariana-Grande-Ponytail-Step-5-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Do-an-Ariana-Grande-Ponytail-Step-5-Version-3.jpg","alt":"How to Be a Lipstick Lesbian"}],"minimum":0,"image":"Do-an-Ariana-Grande-Ponytail-Step-5-Version-3.jpg","image_url":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c1\/Do-an-Ariana-Grande-Ponytail-Step-5-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-460-329-439px-Do-an-Ariana-Grande-Ponytail-Step-5-Version-3.jpg"},{"number":3,"text":"You\u2019re probably a futch!","meaning":"A \"futch\" is someone who slips between the masculine and feminine sides of the spectrum. You're someone who embodies some masc energy and some femme energy, picking and choosing your style and attitude based on your own personal taste. You like to blur lines and mess with gender. It's all fake, after all, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun with it!

      You might be assertive and take the initiative one day, while being demure and wanting to be chased the next. You might blend blouses with pants, or skirts with tanks. There are no rules except the ones you decide to break, and that's a great way to live!

      Another word for futch is \"chapstick lesbian,\" which is someone who subscribes to a more lowkey, easygoing, laid-back kind of feminity, somewhere between butch and femme.

      There's no right or wrong way to be lesbian, and there's no right or wrong way to be a futch. If the label feels comfy, roll with it! If it doesn't, leave it behind and blaze your own trail. That's part of pride!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lesbian"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-a-Lesbian-Girlfriend"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Be a Lesbian","id":930404,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-a-Lesbian","relUrl":"\/Be-a-Lesbian","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Be-a-Lesbian-Step-17-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-a-Lesbian-Step-17-Version-4.jpg","alt":"How to Be a Lesbian"},{"title":"How to Get a Lesbian Girlfriend","id":16275,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Get-a-Lesbian-Girlfriend","relUrl":"\/Get-a-Lesbian-Girlfriend","image":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Get-Your-Boyfriend%27s-Attention-Step-9.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Get-Your-Boyfriend%27s-Attention-Step-9.jpg","alt":"How to Get a Lesbian Girlfriend"}],"minimum":0,"image":"What-Is-a-Stem-Girl-Step-6.jpg","image_url":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/24\/What-Is-a-Stem-Girl-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-460-329-439px-What-Is-a-Stem-Girl-Step-6.jpg"}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Sexual<\/picture>","alt":"Sexual Compatibility Test"},{"title":"What Is My Type of Girl (LGBTQIA+) Quiz","id":13363794,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/What-Is-My-Type-of-Girl-Lgbtq-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/What-Is-My-Type-of-Girl-Lgbtq-Quiz","image":"\"What<\/picture>","alt":"What Is My Type of Girl (LGBTQIA+) Quiz"},{"title":"How High Are My Dating Standards Quiz","id":14493791,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Are-Your-Standards-High-Test","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Are-Your-Standards-High-Test","image":"\"Are<\/picture>","alt":"How High Are My Dating Standards Quiz"}],"number":1},{"text":"Nah.","result":"We hear ya. In that case, check out these cool quizzes:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"How Gay Am I Quiz","id":14838922,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/How-Gay-Am-I","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/How-Gay-Am-I","image":"\"How<\/picture>","alt":"How Gay Am I Quiz"},{"title":"Rizz Game: Test Your Rizz","id":14518355,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Rizz-Game","relUrl":"\/Rizz-Game","image":"\"Rizz<\/picture>","alt":"Rizz Game: Test Your Rizz"},{"title":"Am I Good at Flirting Quiz","id":14495133,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Am-I-Good-at-Flirting-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Am-I-Good-at-Flirting-Quiz","image":"\"Am<\/picture>","alt":"Am I Good at Flirting Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

Lesbian Types

There are as many ways to be a lesbian as there are lesbians, but the lesbian community has brewed up some common “types” that help other lesbians find identity and community. Let’s take a look:

  • Butch: Lesbians who lean more masculine in style and attitude.
  • Femme: Lesbians who lean more feminine in style and attitude.
  • Futch: Lesbians who mix masculine and feminine, or sit somewhere between the two.
  • Low or lazy femme or butch: A lesbian who identifies as more masc or femme, but doesn’t take it too seriously.
  • Soft butch or soft masc: A lesbian who leans masc but who has femme traits.
  • Lipstick lesbian: A lesbian who engages in more traditional forms of femininity.
  • Chapstick lesbian: A lesbian whose idea of femininity is more casual and lax.
  • Stone: A lesbian who focuses on giving pleasure rather than receiving pleasure.
  • Stud: A Black butch lesbian.
  • Hey Mamas lesbian: A flamboyant or suave lesbian, usually butch or masc.
  • Stem lesbian: A Black lesbian somewhere in the middle of the butch/femme spectrum.
  • Pillow princess: A lesbian who focuses on receiving rather than giving pleasure.
  • Switch: A lesbian who both gives and receives pleasure.
  • Gold-star lesbian: A lesbian who’s only ever had sex with other lesbians.
  • Golden retriever: This is a newer term that isn’t widely recognized, but it describes a lesbian who’s warm, friendly, and eager to please.

FAQ:

Is the D-word a slur? Yes, but many lesbians have chosen to reclaim it. Like many LGBTQ+ slurs, it’s cool if someone affected by that slur reclaims it to talk about themselves, but it’s not cool to call someone else that word unless you have their express permission, even if you identify with that word, yourself.

Do you have to be a woman to be a lesbian? To answer this, it’s important to understand how we think of gender and sexuality. There’s no straightforward answer, but many in the community would say “not necessarily.” There are loads of non-binary or genderfluid people who identify as lesbians, even if they don’t identify as women. Sometimes, it’s because they present as women and prefer people who present as women. Other times, it just feels more comfortable than other labels. What you call yourself is up to you, but it’s important to listen and respect other people’s identities, too.

What’s a “baby gay?” “Baby gay” is a word for someone who’s new to the LGBTQ+ community and may not know all the slang, language, or etiquette, usually because they just discovered their own identity. It’s usually a term of endearment.

What’s a black cat lesbian? This is an internet slang term that describes a lesbian who’s got dark, witchy, aloof, powerful energy, like a black cat. They’re sometimes a little intimidating, but they’re usually super friendly and confident.

What’s a blue jean femme? This term describes a lesbian who’s feminine, but is more casual about it, i.e. they wear tees and blue jeans as opposed to dresses or skirts.

Want to learn more?

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