Give me the best roast lines for bullies!

Alexandra Stokes
05/20/25 5:47pm
I have bullies at my school and I NEED some better roast lines than 'your mom'!! Please help!! Make them brutal, but not too "inappropriate" for school. THANK YOUUU!
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Expert Comments

05/20/25 5:48pm
Man, bullies are the worst. More than anything, bullies want to know their dumb, pathetic behavior has an effect on people, so a response that communicates what they've said was actually quite lame may get them to lay off. Try using these (mostly harmless) roast lines against them. They'll hopefully help you exit the interaction, rather than escalate it:
  • I know you're miserable on the inside, but do you really have to make me miserable, too?
  • I can't wait to no longer be talking to you.
  • I'd love to chat, but I've got to be literally anywhere else right now.
  • I really wish you had a mute button.
  • I know you'll go far in life. I just hope you stay there.
  • These are the best years of your life. Enjoy them.
  • You seem to really enjoy talking to me. Am I your best friend?
  • You've got a lot more to worry about than me.
  • I'm begging you, get a hobby.
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wikiHow Expert
Hilya Tehrani, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
05/20/25 6:26pm
Kids are often given the advice to just ignore the bully or walk away, but these things don’t typically work out well. Programs that research what actually reduces bullying behavior tells us that what works best is a short verbal comeback. This should be something that communicates that what the bully said didn’t bother you or was just plain dumb. It helps even more if you also have the body language and gestures to support what you say.

For example, your response may be a simple “Whatever…” while you roll your eyes. You might shrug your shoulders and say “So what?” or “Who cares?” or even “Was that supposed to be funny?” Responses like this take the fun out of teasing for the bully and leave them feeling like what they did was lame. It is important to still walk away after this response. But, having first made this kind of statement lets the bully know they can’t get to you. It makes it less likely they will come after you in the future.
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