I need help!! (he's getting a little bit...much)
So I'm dating this really nice guy named Nathan. We've been together almost 7 months and he's getting a little bit...much.
If I already have plans, he asks me out on that specific night then gets upset when I say I have previous commitments. But then the next day he's perfectly content to cuddle and treat me like a queen. When I see him, my heart does that crazy weird butterfly thingie and I feel great.
He makes time to come see me every day at lunch and after school, even though he doesn't go to my school. But at night it feels like his inner demon comes out and he's suddenly no longer himself. He's so controlling and dominant and I'm not sure I like Night-Nathan as much as I do Day-Nathan.
So what do I do? Do I settle for the Day-Nathan, or give him up?
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If I already have plans, he asks me out on that specific night then gets upset when I say I have previous commitments. But then the next day he's perfectly content to cuddle and treat me like a queen. When I see him, my heart does that crazy weird butterfly thingie and I feel great.
He makes time to come see me every day at lunch and after school, even though he doesn't go to my school. But at night it feels like his inner demon comes out and he's suddenly no longer himself. He's so controlling and dominant and I'm not sure I like Night-Nathan as much as I do Day-Nathan.
So what do I do? Do I settle for the Day-Nathan, or give him up?
Expert Comments
Day Nathan sounds great, but you deserve someone who acts like Day Nathan all the time: someone kind, understanding, and respectful who gives you your space. In contrast, Night Nathan seems a bit insecure, as well as, in your own words, "controlling and dominant." It's possible talking to him about how his behavior affects you and setting clear boundaries will help him gain some self-awareness and treat you better, but if he doesn't make real efforts to change, don't settle for someone who treats you poorly (even if it's only some of the time).
If you believe you're in any danger of physical harm, or if Nathan is ever insulting or verbally abusive toward you, it's best to get out of the relationship ASAP, and confide in someone you trust about what's going on. There are free resources available from the National Domestic Violence Hotline—just call 1-800-799-SAFE or text START to 88788. Your safety and happiness is the top priority!
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If you believe you're in any danger of physical harm, or if Nathan is ever insulting or verbally abusive toward you, it's best to get out of the relationship ASAP, and confide in someone you trust about what's going on. There are free resources available from the National Domestic Violence Hotline—just call 1-800-799-SAFE or text START to 88788. Your safety and happiness is the top priority!
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