15 Easy Ways to Earn the Respect of Others

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Get people to respect you with our expert advice
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Everyone deserves respect, but it doesn't come automatically. The surest way to be respected is to show respect to others, but how do you do that? We talked to mindset and action coach Kirsten Parker to bring you expert tips you can put to use today to start earning more respect in all aspects of your life.

How to Gain Respect

If you want others to respect you, start with clear, positive communication. Listen actively and encourage feedback from other people. Act in a calm, assertive way that projects confidence. Support and uplift those around you.

1

Communicate clearly and listen actively.

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    Use simple, direct sentences, especially when you're trying to give someone instructions or explain something. Aim to listen more than you talk. After someone is finished speaking, pause for a moment before you start in on what you have to say. It's respectful and also gives you a chance to collect your thoughts. [1]
    • Parker notes that "the key to effective listening is presence. Before entering a conversation, consciously set the intention to be present with this person," which includes "making eye contact, watching body language, and listening beyond someone's words to hear their tone."
    • A regular meditation practice can help you learn how to stay in the present more often.
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2

Maintain control of your emotions.

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    People are more likely to respect you if you have self-control and don't let your emotions get the best of you. This is especially important in tense or dangerous situations. If you have a hard time keeping your feelings in check, use calming techniques to steady yourself. [2]
    • For Parker, this all comes down to breathing: "If you recognize that you're triggered or stressed, you need to slow yourself down so you don't act out of reactivity."
    • "Taking a few breaths with a slightly longer exhale than inhale," she continues, "will help you regain access to the higher thinking... where you tap into what really matters to you, what's actually important in the moment, [and] what your long-term intentions are."
3

Stand and walk with confidence.

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    When you walk into a room confidently with your shoulders held back, looking people directly in the eye, people take notice. If you project confidence, people will be more likely to respect you—even if the confidence you project doesn't exactly match what you feel deep inside. Like the saying goes, "Fake it 'til you make it!" [3]
    • Sitting and standing with open body language signals to people that you're open and interested in them, rather than being closed off. People will tend to gravitate towards you and be interested in you if you seem open to them.
    • Don't be afraid to take up space when you're sitting and standing. It also shows confidence if you're not trying to shrink yourself or fit into the tiniest area you possibly can.
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4

Search for solutions to problems.

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    Whenever there's a problem, you don't have to look far to find people wringing their hands and trying to figure out what went wrong. While that's valuable information, it's something you're much more likely to figure out after you've had time to reflect. Right now, do whatever damage control is necessary and then determine the next steps to reach your goal. [4]
    • People will respect your composure and grace under pressure and appreciate the way you're able to return to the task at hand without complaining or playing the blame game.
    • Over time, you'll gain a reputation as someone who always keeps your eye on the prize and doesn't let a setback knock you off course.
5

Take pride in your appearance.

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    This doesn't mean you always have to wear the latest trends or expensive designers. As long as your clothes look cared for and intentionally chosen, you're fine on that front. Also, make sure you look as clean and presentable as possible before you go out in public. [5]
    • Generally speaking, people tend to be repelled by someone with strong body odor or other evidence of poor hygiene (even though these things might not be that person's fault).
    • People will tend to respect you if it seems that you actually care about how you present yourself when you go out and are making an effort to put your best face out there.
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6

Say "no" more often.

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    It's easy to get caught up in wanting to be liked, which can push you to say "yes" to everything anybody asks you to do. Not only is this exhausting, but it means you likely won't have enough time and energy to devote to all of the things that you do. Instead, choose the things that are really important to you and commit to those. Then, graciously turn down other offers that come your way. [6]
    • For example, if your neighbor asks you to help out with their book club, you might say, "Thanks for thinking of me, but no. I've got too much going on to give that the attention it deserves."
    • People will come to respect that you've said no when they see the effort you put in on the things you do. They'll know that when you do commit to something, you give it your all.
7

Voice your opinion.

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    Generally speaking, people tend to respect other people who aren't afraid to speak their minds. This could mean that you disagree with someone else or it could simply mean that you have an option no one has considered yet. At the same time, don't talk over other people or insist that your opinion or point of view is better or more important than anyone else's. [7]
    • If you get anxious about speaking up, Parker advises you to "get present! Anxiety is stress about the future: What might happen, what you could feel, all the scariest stories [you] can come up with."
    • Instead of imagining a future to be afraid of, Parker suggests that you stay non-judgmentally aware of your thoughts and feelings. When you can notice them without judging them, you create space for them to exist "without defining or overtaking you."
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8

Establish and enforce your boundaries.

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    Being kind doesn't mean letting other people walk all over you. Setting boundaries is about telling people what kinds of behavior you won't tolerate because of the respect you have for yourself. If you show that you respect yourself, others will follow suit and respect you too. [8]
    • Parker notes that "other people's respect won't fulfill or satisfy you if you don't respect yourself, so that has to be a priority."
    • If you have a hard time sticking up for yourself in this way, start small. Each little victory will encourage you.
9

Apologize only when you've done something wrong.

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    It might also come across as passive-aggressive, which can make the other person feel extremely uncomfortable. Instead, thank the other person for the behavior that you appreciate. [9]
    • For example, instead of apologizing for a weather delay you couldn't control, you might say, "Thank you for your patience. We're ready to get started now."
    • When you have actually done something wrong, be accountable and apologize . Then, take steps to make sure it never happens again.
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10

Keep your promises to others.

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    The best way to earn other people's trust is to do what you say you're going to do. When people know they can count on you, they'll take you at your word and hold you in higher regard. [10]
    • People tend to have a lot of respect for you if they know that they don't have to worry about you or whatever you've said you'd take care of. They know that if they hand something off to you, it's in good hands.
    • Build this reputation by only committing to things that you know you can devote 100% of your effort to. If you keep control of your schedule so you're not overloaded, your dedication will shine through.
11

Encourage others to succeed.

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    When you acknowledge others' successes and lift them up when they need it, you show that you're concerned about other people, not just yourself. This also demonstrates that you're willing to give credit where credit is due rather than taking all the accolades for yourself. [11]
    • Encouraging others to succeed also sends the message that you aren't threatened by other people's success—and why should you be? There's plenty to go around!
    • Have high expectations for people who work with you to encourage them to do their best and really rise to the occasion. If they see you giving your all, they'll be happy to follow your lead.
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12

Show up to commitments on time.

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    Being punctual goes hand in hand with being reliable generally—if you're always on time, people will know that when you say you're going to be somewhere, they can rely on you to show up. You can definitely build a lot of respect just by showing up when you say you're going to. [12]
    • If you are going to be late, try to call or text the relevant parties in advance so that they won't be too inconvenienced. Let them know what happened and approximately what time you'll be there.
13

Treat others with positivity and respect.

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    Speak positively about other people and avoid getting caught up in the personality conflicts, drama, and petty bickering that can arise in any group setting. Let people know that you want everyone to succeed and be happy in life. Instead, offer emotional support to friends and colleagues who need it. [13]
    • If you demonstrate consistently that you're above the fray, people will come to respect you—especially for your recommendations and opinions about other people. Because they know you're not gossipy, they'll reach out to you for the truth.
    • Even if you don't like or get along with someone, treat them with courtesy and respect when you have to cross paths with them. People will notice and this can greatly improve your reputation.
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14

Stand up for injustice.

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    This doesn't mean that you have to put yourself in danger, but it's always good to say something if you see someone being bullied or mistreated. If you think it would be too dangerous for you to directly interfere, you can always reach out to someone who can help, such as a counselor, nurse, or teacher. [14]
    • Religious and community leaders can also help you stand up to injustice, particularly if you're fighting injustice in your community or against a larger group of people.
15

Live your core values.

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    If you haven't already, take some time to identify your core values . These are the things that you'll always come back to, the things that are the most important to you in your life. If you always make your decisions based on these core values, you'll become incredibly reliable and generate a lot of respect. [15]
    • This means being public about your core values as well and reinforcing them often. If you do something, let people know why—then they'll understand more about the values that you're acting on and know what to expect from you in the future.
    • Parker notes that "if you're clear on your values, if you're acting in your integrity, [and] if you're honoring your true priorities" you'll be more likely to attract respect from others.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Why do I feel like I always need other people to respect me?
    Kirsten Parker, MFA
    Mindset & Action Coach
    Kirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one's confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management.
    Kirsten Parker, MFA
    Mindset & Action Coach
    Expert Answer
    Other people’s respect won’t fulfill or satisfy you if you don’t respect yourself, so that has to be the priority. Check in if you’re clear on your values, if you’re acting in your integrity, and if you’re honoring your true priorities in your life, work, and relationships. The more genuinely you respect yourself, the more naturally you’ll attract respect from others!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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    Not Helpful 5 Helpful 5
  • Question
    How do I make girls respect me?
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Avoid putting them on a pedestal and learn to look past their looks. Engage with them as any other human being who has flaws and insecurities. They will respect you more for it than someone who tries to be someone they are not.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 7 Helpful 30
  • Question
    My best friend is not nice to others. I don't want to end our friendship, but is there any way I could get respect while with him?
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Try being direct in your communication. Set boundaries and let them know what you will and will not tolerate. If they refuse to keep your boundaries than respect yourself and end the friendship.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 6 Helpful 28
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      References

      1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/05/how-to-earn-respect-as-a-leader
      2. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644?pg=2
      3. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644?pg=2
      4. ↑ https://www.iom.int/sites/g/files/tmzbdl486/files/staff-welfare/the_psychology_of_respect.pdf
      5. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/personal-hygiene
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/communication-success/201309/are-you-too-nice-7-ways-to-gain-appreciation-respect
      7. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/assertive/art-20044644?pg=2
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201309/are-you-too-nice-7-ways-gain-appreciation-respect
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-other-side-of-relationships/202304/stop-overapologizing
      1. ↑ https://www.inc.com/lee-colan/8-ways-to-become-the-most-reliable-person-in-the-room.html
      2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/05/how-to-earn-respect-as-a-leader
      3. ↑ https://drexel.edu/graduatecollege/professional-development/blog/2019/October/RESPECT/
      4. ↑ https://www.uwl.ac.uk/student-life/building-uwl-community/10-ways-be-respectful
      5. ↑ https://www.uwl.ac.uk/student-life/building-uwl-community/10-ways-be-respectful
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201807/39-core-values-and-how-live-them

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      The best way to be respected is to set boundaries and clearly communicate with people who walk over you. Stick to your word, and admit to your mistakes whenever you are at fault. However, don't apologize for no reason, or people might think you're weak. For more advice, including how to respect others and receive their respect in return, keep on reading.

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