Easy Ways to Be a Nicer Person at Work and Improve Your Relationships

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Having a sunny disposition at work might not be a job requirement, but it can make you a much more pleasant person to be around. If you find yourself being a little short with your coworkers or grumbling a lot, you might be looking to make a change. By making small adjustments every day, you can improve your attitude and be a nicer person at work to make your job a little more enjoyable.

1

Say “good morning” to your coworkers.

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    It might sound like a small thing, but a nice greeting from you could seriously lift up someone’s mood if they’re having a bad day. [1]
    • Saying good morning to your coworkers also makes you feel more approachable. If you can be casual at the beginning of the day, your coworkers are more likely to chat with you throughout the work day.
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2

Get to know your coworkers.

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    Chat about your children, what you like to do on the weekends, and what you all do for fun. [2]
    • Getting to know your coworkers will foster a relationship and develop a bond between you all.
    • Make sure you tell your coworkers about yourself too! Talk about the fun stuff you did last weekend or what your plans are for the evening.
3

Look for a silver lining.

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    If you can find the silver lining even in a bad situation, people will start to see you as a nice, kind person to rely on. [3]
    • For example, if you and your team miss a deadline, you could say, “Well, at least we know how much time we need to carve out for the next project.”
    • Or, if you have to work late, you could say, “Thank goodness we’re getting paid overtime for this.”
    EXPERT TIP

    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist

    Being a positive person can help your relationships. Make an effort to build strong connections with the people who matter most. Offer help to others to develop a sense of purpose. Bringing humor, kindness, compassion, and fun into your interactions can make a big difference.

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4

Practice active listening skills.

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    Show that you’re really listening to what they have to say instead of dismissing them right away. [4]
    • For example, if your coworker is telling you something about your next assignment, you could say, “So what you need is a double page document by the end of the day?”
    • If you’re just chatting about your personal life with your coworkers, you could ask, “So what happened with your kid’s recital last night?”
5

Do your job to the best of your abilities.

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    The better you can do your job, the more people will see you as a reliable person. [5]
    • While doing your job well on its own won’t make people view you as “nice” necessarily, if you couple it with a few other methods you can make sure people think that you’re a kind person.
    • If you don’t do your job well, you can be the nicest person around, but people may still resent you.
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6

Respect other people’s needs.

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    Instead of getting frustrated at your coworkers if they do something differently than you, try to respect their needs and let them work how they need to. [6]
    • For example, you might be able to chat and listen to music while you work, but other people might need complete silence. Instead of getting offended that they don’t want to talk, let them do their work on their own.
7

Help your colleagues out.

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    While you might not be able to do their work for them, you can offer to bring them new materials or go over their work, especially if you’re on a team together. [7]
    • If you do something kind for one of your colleagues, they’ll probably return the favor later on.
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8

Admit your mistakes.

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    Don’t try to assign the blame to anyone else; instead, take accountability if you mess up. [8]
    • For example, you could say, “I misplaced the report we needed and that meant we missed the deadline. I’m really sorry, and I’m going to work on my organizational skills for next time.”
9

Acknowledge when your coworker does something good.

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    can really make someone feel good. Try to point out when one of your coworkers gets something done quickly, works extra hard, or goes above and beyond their job duties. [9]
    • Positive reinforcement tends to make people work harder and with more enthusiasm. If you’re in charge of a team, try to encourage your employees to be more productive by rewarding them when they’ve done well.
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10

Deal with problems head on.

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    Don’t spend time being passive aggressive or talking about them with other people. Instead, sit down with them and talk through your issues together. [10]
    • Gossiping about others is a surefire way to start work drama, which is never fun.
    • If you’re having a big problem with someone that you can’t resolve on your own, consider taking it to your HR department for help.
    • Try not to take workplace stress personally. Instead, take a step back and look at what's triggering those emotions so you can start to cope with them. [11]
11

Buy coffee for everyone now and then.

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    Splurge on coffee in the morning, bring in donuts for everyone, or treat your coworkers to lunch. Chances are, they’ll even repay the favor! [12]
    • These small niceties can really make people see you as a fun, kind person.
    • Don’t break the bank—if you can’t afford to buy everyone food or drinks, don’t worry about it.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you feel more motivated at work?
    Arda Ozdemir, MA
    Career & Life Coach
    Arda Ozdemir is the Executive Coach and Founder of Rise 2 Realize, a nonprofit organization in Palo Alto, California that is dedicated to providing a practical roadmap toward one's full potential in their life and career. Arda is a Reiki Master, an Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, and a certified HeartMath Trainer and Mentor.
    Arda Ozdemir, MA
    Career & Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Focus on the company's mission—if you can feel connected to that, you'll be more motivated and fulfilled at work.
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  • Question
    How can I deal with stress at work?
    Arda Ozdemir, MA
    Career & Life Coach
    Arda Ozdemir is the Executive Coach and Founder of Rise 2 Realize, a nonprofit organization in Palo Alto, California that is dedicated to providing a practical roadmap toward one's full potential in their life and career. Arda is a Reiki Master, an Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, and a certified HeartMath Trainer and Mentor.
    Arda Ozdemir, MA
    Career & Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    If you have an emotional reaction to a situation, take a step back and look at what's triggering those feelings. Ask yourself, "Why did I take this personally?" and "What's really going on?" That can help you shift the attention away from the person or situation that's making you feel stressed.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      • Being a nicer person won’t happen overnight. Keep making small changes every day to work toward your goal.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.marquette.edu/hr/documents/principles-positive-coworker-relationships.pdf
      2. ↑ https://www.marquette.edu/hr/documents/principles-positive-coworker-relationships.pdf
      3. ↑ https://www.inc.com/young-entrepreneur-council/how-to-have-a-positive-mindset-at-work.html
      4. ↑ https://www.marquette.edu/hr/documents/principles-positive-coworker-relationships.pdf
      5. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/11/11/10-ways-to-become-better-at-your-job-today-2/?sh=e2364543b892
      6. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/11/11/10-ways-to-become-better-at-your-job-today-2/?sh=e2364543b892
      7. ↑ https://www.inc.com/young-entrepreneur-council/how-to-have-a-positive-mindset-at-work.html
      8. ↑ https://www.marquette.edu/hr/documents/principles-positive-coworker-relationships.pdf
      9. ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2017/07/be-nice-to-your-coworkers-even-when-they-dont-deserve-it.html
      1. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/02/06/how-to-get-your-co-workers-to-like-you-better/?sh=4a713d8321a1
      2. ↑ Arda Ozdemir, MA. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 4 October 2019.
      3. ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/why-you-should-be-nice-to-your-coworkers-even-if-you-dont-want-to-be-2017-7

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