How to Control Crying

Co-authored by Leslie Bosch, PhD

Last Updated: November 21, 2022 Approved

Crying is a perfectly natural response to strong emotions, but there are many situations where it is not useful or productive, such as in a work conflict or when you need to act strong for someone else. There are ways to control when and how often you cry, such as distancing yourself from the situation, trying physical strategies, or even changing your health habits.

Method 1

Method 1 of 5:

Distancing Yourself

Breathing deeply will help your body relax, releasing the tension that would otherwise build up and spill out as tears. Try focusing on your breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly to the count of 4.
When you are having a conversation with someone and you feel tears coming on, look away for a minute. Find a spot on the wall to focus on, or look at your hands intently. Remove yourself from the situation momentarily (just one minute will do) to give yourself space to gather your thoughts. ^{[1]
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Put some literal distance between you and the situation or person making you cry. Taking a step backward can give you a bit of personal space in which to gather your thoughts (and tears). ^{[2]
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Take a walk. Remove yourself physically from the situation that’s making you cry and take a walk. Focus on moving your arms and legs, and try to regularize your breathing. ^{[3]
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- If you want to stop crying, don’t retreat to the bathroom; you might cry more there.
Grab a magazine or watch a funny video. Pull yourself away from the immediate feelings that are making tears well up. Deliberately focus on the concrete details of what you’re reading or watching, and comment on details to yourself, such as, “That is a gorgeous dress,” or “I can’t believe that cat jumped so high.” ^{[4]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 5:

Changing Your Response

Forcing yourself to smile when you feel the opposite will help you overcome negative feelings. ^{[5]
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Relax your crumpled up forehead and tensed mouth and cheeks. By installing a neutral expression on your face, you are forcing your body out of the immediate crying mode. ^{[7]
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Shift your emotion to anger. Many times, you might start crying because you are trying to hold in your true emotions. It’s often not considered appropriate to get angry during a conflict, and crying can come because adrenaline is flowing and you’ve stuffed down your anger. Allow yourself to identify angry feelings and announce them. ^{[8]
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- Often, women don’t feel like they are allowed to get angry at the risk of being labeled a *****. Skip this feeling and give yourself permission to get angry. ^{[9]
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- You don’t have to be aggressively angry to show that you’re angry. Even saying something like, “I’m angry that I haven’t had a chance to participate fully,” can help you name your feelings and keep from crying.
Have a response in mind for certain types of situations. If you seem to cry easily when you receive criticism from your boss, for example, think about ways to respond verbally to this feedback. Being prepared with something to say, even with a canned response, can help steer you away from crying. ^{[10]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 5:

Trying Physical Strategies

Distract yourself away from your oncoming tears by causing a very small amount of physical discomfort to your body. Pinch your arm to redirect your mind from your tears. ^{[11]
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Try to be gentle so that you don’t draw blood. You can also press your fingernails into the palm of your hand.
Squeeze your thumb and forefinger on the bridge of your nose, right near your eyes. This will slow down your tear ducts from producing tears. ^{[12]
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Open up your eyes really wide, which can help dry them out. Looking up while you do this will help any forming tears sink back away from the rims of your eyes.
Tightening your mouth muscles and focusing on pressing your tongue upwards can help stop you from tearing up.
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Try swallowing. Swallowing will help constrict the muscles in your throat. Crying helps open the muscles, so if you can do the opposite, you may be able to restrict the crying response. ^{[13]
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- Taking a drink of water can also achieve the same effect.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 5:

Changing Your Health Habits

Try going for a jog or a bike ride to pull yourself out of the situation that’s making you cry. Exercising will increase oxygen flow to the brain and will release endorphins that will calm you down.
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Eat nutrient-rich foods. Feed your body with good foods in order to give yourself energy and strength to fight off negative feelings. Eat proteins and cut down on refined sugars and refined carbohydrates. ^{[14]
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- Eat a good breakfast every morning. This will help stabilize your blood sugar and your mood.
- Increase your intake of folic acid, which can be found in leafy green vegetables.
If you are tired, you are often not able to handle strong feelings as well. Being short on sleep will make it more difficult to hold back the tears. Aim to get 7-8 hours of sleep in order to smooth out your nerves.

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Method 5

Method 5 of 5:

Trying Other Methods

Seeking professional help can give you an important outlet for understanding why you’re crying in certain situations. A counselor might be able to help you figure out how to communicate more effectively so that you don’t end up crying so often. This person might also help you get to the root of why you feel like crying. ^{[15]
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Go to source}
Confide in someone you trust by talking about some of the issues that cause you to cry. Whether it’s work conflict or a relationship problem, it can help to talk through the problem so that you gain some perspective.
Writing down your thoughts in a journal can be therapeutic and can allow you to announce and explore feelings that you’re experiencing. This is a good way to work through stressors in your life and to strategize ways to control unwanted crying. ^{[16]
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4
Try acupressure. Acupressure is a traditional Chinese healing method that involves pressing on different parts of your body to achieve relief and healing of certain health symptoms. Try some of the acupressure techniques associated with relieving anxiety, which is often the source of unwanted crying.
- Press the spot right in between your eyebrows. Apply pressure to this spot for 1-3 minutes.
- Press on your inner wrist. Lay three fingers on your wrist, with your ring finger on the crease of your wrist. Feel for the space between the two tendons on your wrist just underneath your index finger. Apply pressure here to feel relief from anxiety and crying.
- Pinch the webbing in between your thumb and index finger. ^{[17]
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Expert Q&A

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Question

What is another way to stop yourself from crying?

Leslie Bosch, PhD
Developmental Psychologist
Dr. Leslie Bosch is a Developmental Psychologist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Owner of Bosch Integrative Wellness. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in providing stress relief coaching services to individuals and groups using a variety of scientifically proven methods for change including motivational interviewing, positive psychology, self-compassion, non-violent communication, social learning theory, and self-determination theory. Dr. Bosch received training from the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. She is also a member of the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching Association. Dr. Bosch has published many papers and been featured in the media numerous times.

Leslie Bosch, PhD

Developmental Psychologist

Expert Answer

Bring yourself back to the present moment by focusing on your five senses. Look around you and list things that you can see, hear, touch, smell and taste.

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Question

How should you deal with your emotions after you have cried?

Leslie Bosch, PhD
Developmental Psychologist
Dr. Leslie Bosch is a Developmental Psychologist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and Owner of Bosch Integrative Wellness. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in providing stress relief coaching services to individuals and groups using a variety of scientifically proven methods for change including motivational interviewing, positive psychology, self-compassion, non-violent communication, social learning theory, and self-determination theory. Dr. Bosch received training from the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona and earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies from The University of Arizona. She is also a member of the National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching Association. Dr. Bosch has published many papers and been featured in the media numerous times.

Leslie Bosch, PhD

Developmental Psychologist

Expert Answer

You should allow yourself to feel the emotions that caused you to cry because if you try to repress your emotions it will just take longer. They won't just go away by themselves.

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Tips

Don’t be hard on yourself if you cry frequently or in public. Crying is a very natural response to strong emotions. It releases stress hormones, which helps you relax and calm down. ^{[18]
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Instead of completely eliminating your crying, try postponing it. You still should address the feelings that arose, and taking time later to cry them out can be very healing.

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Warnings

If you find yourself crying every day or every other day, you might want to seek counseling to address underlying issues.

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How to Control Crying

Steps

Distancing Yourself

Changing Your Response

Trying Physical Strategies

Changing Your Health Habits

Trying Other Methods

Expert Q&A

Tips

Warnings

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