How to Figure Out if Someone Likes You

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: June 24, 2021 Approved

You suspect that someone likes you, but you want to be certain. Keep in mind that it may be hard to know for sure without a person actually telling you. There are ways, however, to better understand the likelihood that someone has a crush on you. Read on for tips!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Picking up Clues

1
Know the signs that they are interested. If a person likes you, you may notice them staring at you, smiling at you, or trying to make contact with you. ^{[1]
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Research source} ^{[2]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} If someone has a crush on you, he/she will probably find excuses to touch you more than usual. ^{[3]
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Research source} If the person is shy, he/she might show attraction by avoiding you. If the person is more confident and forward, he/she might show attraction by giving you a lot of noticeable attention.
- A girl might touch her hair a lot if she's trying to flirt with you. ^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
2
Glance at him/her frequently during class. If you often catch the person gazing back at you, this is a sign that they like you. Do they hold the stare intensely for several seconds? Do they shyly look away? Do they smile at you? All of these are signs that they like you. ^{[5]
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- Read their eyes for interest. If they like you and they're staring at you in class, they probably won't be doing so with a blank expression. See if you can tell whether the person is legitimately checking you out, or simply staring off into space. ^{[6]
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If someone laughs at your jokes, even when they aren't funny, it may indicate that he/she likes you. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person has a full-fledged crush on you, but it often signals that there is some level of attraction. ^{[7]
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Research source}
4
Notice the way they act around you. If someone likes you, you might notice their demeanor change. They will notice when you walk into the room, and they might make an effort to make a good impression on you. He/She might run his hand through his hair, or stutter a bit, or try extra hard to be funny. He/she might laugh a lot, or make an effort to be especially nice to you.
- When they're with their friends, do they shrug you off, or do they invite you to hang out with the group? If they shrug you off, they probably don't like you. However, if they invite you to hang out, they probably at least find you an interesting person – and they may even have a "crush" on you.
- If you notice her friends giggling and whispering as you walk by, there's a decent chance that she likes you. If you notice him and his group of friends go quiet as you pass, it might be because they're talking about you!
If you've seen this person staring at you once or twice, don't automatically assume that they "like" you. When you are quick to assume, you open yourself up to disappointment. The only way to know for sure is to hear it straight from the source: when a person tells you that they like you. You can use your observations as predictive tools, but you can only figure out so much from clues.

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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Testing the Waters

1
Flirt with them and see how they respond. If the person flirts back, there's a good chance that they're interested in you. If they just nod, but don't engage, they might not be paying attention – or they might be scared they'll say the wrong thing. If they start acting nervous and fidgety, they could really like you and feel anxious that you'll reject them, but they could also be figuring out how to let you down easy. Trust your gut! It can be hard to tell, but your intuition can lead you in the right direction. ^{[8]
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Research source}
- Bear in mind that some people are naturally flirty. Flirting back does not necessarily mean that the person likes you – it might just indicate attraction, or that he/she is especially outgoing.
- Try casually touching the person to see how they respond. Put your hand on his/her arm or shoulder when you're speaking, and sit with your thighs and shoulders touching. If the person seems to respond well to your touch, it might be a good sign. ^{[9]
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  Research source}
- Smiling and making eye contact are great ways to flirt if you don't feel like touching the other person. ^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
2
Befriend them. Many strong relationships have begun as simple friendships. If you become this person's friend, you'll learn more about them and they'll learn more about you. If the two of you are compatible, you might start to like each other. This can also help the person feel more comfortable around you.
- Try going out with a group of your friends and inviting the "Someone." This can make it much more comfortable to be around someone that you like.
You can't necessarily force this, but you can ride the momentum if it happens. Bring up the inside joke again a day or two later, and see if the person remembers it. This can be a good way to gauge whether the person places significance upon your interactions.
4
Notice when he/she listens. It may indicate attraction if the person pays rapt attention when you talk about yourself. He/she might ask you questions about your life. As you get to know each other more deeply, you might find yourselves talking about personal preferences and experiences that don't normally come up in conversation. If he/she listens and remembers the details hours or days later, then there's a good chance that he/she likes you. ^{[11]
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Research source}
- Again, this is not a certain method of telling that someone likes you. However, it can be a pretty good indication.
- Try telling a long story to see if the person listens – but don't make it a boring tale. If he/she is hanging off of your every word, he/she probably finds you interesting.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being Straightforward

1
Ask for their number . Be casual about it. If you feel comfortable being low-key about it, just take out your phone and start texting, then casually ask, "Hey, [their name], what's your number?" It helps to have a specific reason for asking: arranging a study group, for instance, or to coordinate for a party. If the person happily gives you their number, it doesn't necessarily mean that he/she likes you in a more-than-platonic way – but it does indicate that he/she is comfortable enough with you to open up a new means of communication.
- Do not ask someone else for your crush's phone number. If you're going to do this, be straightforward and ask in person.
- Take notice when this person asks for your number, or gives you his/her number without you having to ask. These forward moves might mean that he/she likes you. Take this as an invitation to text the person.
Add this person as a friend on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, or another social network. Message them over text, if you have their number. Start with something simple: ask about the homework, if you need a non-forward opener, or just say, "Hey! How are you doing?" Bear in mind that this will feel much more natural for both of you if you already talk to this person a lot in person.
3
Ask them out . If you are reasonably sure that this person likes you, ask him/her out on a one-on-one date. Invite the person to a movie, to a concert, or just for a walk to the park. Be calm and confident, and try to act natural.
- You could even start by hanging out with your crush in a group so they can get to know you. Then, you might ask them out for coffee or invite them to a movie. ^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- Make sure that you have a specific day, event, or plan in mind when you ask. Avoid vaguely asking someone "out." All "going out" really means is that you and another person are going a lot of places together, and making a bunch of specific plans.
- If the person turns you down, try to keep it in perspective. There are many fish in the sea, as the saying goes, and it is not always worth your time to persistently woo someone who simply doesn't like you. Consider whether the person might have declined your invitation for some other reason: perhaps he/she is not allowed to date, or didn't believe that you were being genuine.
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Question

My friend and I usually have foot fights under tables, and somehow he always picks me for leader of the team; plus he always sits by me in class. Does he like me?

Community Answer

It sounds that way, considering the attention he's giving you. But the only way to know for sure is to ask him. Good luck with the foot wars!

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Question

How can I talk to him if he is always surrounded by his friends?

Community Answer

There will always be some moment when he's not surrounded by them, you'll need to be observant and ready to go up to him. Perhaps between classes, on the way home from school or at sports practice.

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I have a crush on someone -- he knows I like him and we play around all the time. I just want to know if he likes me back, so how do I find out?

Community Answer

Sometimes it's best to be straightforward; he knows you like him, so it's not like he'll be surprised. One day when you're "playing around" just kind of be like, "So hey... you know I like you right? Do you like me back?" Yes, this takes a lot of guts and bravery, but it's worth it if you really want to find out. You could also get his number or social media information if you feel more comfortable doing it over a phone than in person.

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Tips

Try to talk with his friends. They might give you signs that he likes you.

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Try touching them lightly on the arm when you're talking to them. If they pull away, they probably were genuinely uncomfortable with it.

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Don't push. Respect them if they say they "like" you, but don't want to be with you – or that they aren't ready for a relationship. This is their decision. Who knows what the future will bring?

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Show More Tips

Warnings

Don't be creepy.

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Don't stare.

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Don't get heartbroken

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[1]

[2]

Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

[3]

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How to Figure Out if Someone Likes You

Steps

Picking up Clues

Testing the Waters

Being Straightforward

Community Q&A

Tips

Warnings

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References

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