Q&A for How to Be a Good House Guest

I would offer to cook a meal or take your hosts out to dinner. You can also bring a gift for your host when you arrive and leave a thank you note when you leave to show your appreciation.

If you are staying with someone, you are allowed to use the shower. It never hurts to ask, though.

It's harder when it's family. Try to look on the bright side -- you now have lots of fresh spices and new food. As for the glasses, keep as many as you want and give the rest to the charity store. You didn't ask for the glasses and they didn't ask if you wanted them. If they feel upset at their next visit, just shrug and say they were used and wore out over time. Most of all, try to laugh it all off -- undoubtedly this meddling family member was trying to help despite overstepping the mark completely but you don't need to keep carrying the baggage of negativity, just turn it into one of those family jokes.

When you have guests you will incur more expenses, without a doubt. This is often something that guests overlook. Keep those extra expenses to a minimum by advising guests, before they arrive, that upon arrival you are happy to take them to the grocery store and wine shop to purchase their vacation needs. Also, decline attending venues with them, unless they purchase your entry ticket (as they should). Instead of driving them around, using your gas, suggest a rental car, Uber, taxi, or public transportation.

It is best to agree beforehand with all those involved what the rules will be. Cultures and customs differ, but you have the right to impose rules in your own house. Let your husband know how you feel, and ask to talk about what you can accept and what you can't.

Try asking simple, quick favors (which are actually learning experiences in disguise) for example, "Hey, can you please quickly fold that blanket back up?" or " Hey, I'm just doing the dishes, could you please pass me your plate" or you could even try "Oh shoot, I forgot to make your bed. Could you quickly zip over and do it?" Tip: Make the "favors" sound as quick and easy as possible.

Say that you enjoyed having the guest to stay and that it was a pleasure to spend time with them. If they give you a gift, thank them for it, or send a thank you note by email or card if you didn't find it until after they have left. It can also be nice to ask them if they need anything for the journey and offer them snacks, food, wipes, etc., as needed.

No. All guestrooms are filled first before they are expected to rearrange their own living situations.

In our family, we were taught to strip the bed at the end of the visit. And if sleeping on a sofa or sofa bed, we would strip it every morning so the host can use their living room as usual.

Not at all. You're actually displaying good manners by showing respect to the person you're visiting.

It's fine if your child is fine with it. Is your child paying for any room and board besides the cleaning? If your relative opened up their home for free, I would think this is the least that could be expected. If you're really concerned, simply tell your child to ask the relative if they mind.

Yes, this is inappropriate. Though house owners can invite anyone they like, anytime, the general rule is not to host more than one group of people at a time. You can't have a kitchen party for one couple, and a living room party for a different couple at the same time. If other guests are present, they ought to have the courtesy to retire to their room. But it's still awkward. You could even state that you feel awkward and prefer to go home and agree to meet again at a later date, though this might again offend your host.

All you have to do is say, "Just so you know, I try to keep food out of the bedrooms, so if you could stick to eating in the kitchen, that would be great." If you see someone eating in the bedroom, you could say, "It's fine if you finish that, but for future reference, I'd really rather you not eat in here."

No. If you are their guest, and they have even prepared a meal for you, you really ought to be polite and kind. Adjust your own schedule to accommodate their likes. Soon enough you'll be back at your own home where you can do whatever you like. They have gone through a lot of trouble to get everyone together because they love all of you and wish to see you all together, why on earth would you not want to give them that heartwarming moment?

It doesn't really matter who speaks first. Neither of you wants to sit there in awkward silence so if she doesn't say something, then ask her how she has been lately.

It depends on how well you know and trust this person, on the weather, and on how long your sister will be gone. You can choose, but either option is perfectly fine. If you let them wait inside, and your sister decides to go see a movie, for example, this person could wait for hours. It would be OK to ask to wait outside or come back another time; or tell them to contact your sister directly.

If it is a bathroom or guest bedroom, then no, they still need your permission.

Accidents happen - if you spilled something, ask the host what you can do to help remedy the situation. Of course, don't forget to apologize.

Just be honest and give them recommendations for places in the area.

You need to tell your granddaughter about the discomfort you felt. Tell her exactly what happened, and how you would prefer if he would ask before going into your refrigerator. It's your house, and you are perfectly within your rights to make the rules there. Most likely, their feelings were a little hurt, but they'll get over it.

Yes, assuming the magazine is just lying around in a communal area, that is fine, just be careful that you don't spill anything on it, dogear pages, etc.

Yes, absolutely. And it is up to the parents to make sure their children abide by all the house rules. For example, if the hosts have a "no phones at the table" rule, but you allow it at your house, make sure your children understand and obey the new rule while they are guests.

Yes. Despite the hostess doing most or all of the "work," you should still include their significant other's name to thank them for their hospitality and kindness.

Don't fight over the remote, that's hardly worth it. But you can set rules - your house, your rules. They come to visit you, not your TV. You can't just expect the owners of a house to sit idly by while guests use their stuff, just like visitors can't go and paint your living room in a different color because they like it better. So address the issue. Say, "Hey, you came here to visit us, so spend time with instead of watching TV. And in any case, it's our TV, so we decide what to watch. Take it or leave it."

If you stayed one night, no. This is usually not expected and can't really be demanded. They could ask; in that case, sure, just do it. If you want to be polite anyway, you could indeed strip the linen and fold it up, and place it on the bed. If you stayed more than one night, I would recommend checking with your host, say you want to contribute to the household and ask for what they would like you to do and how. It's their house, so do it according to how they like it.

You can't just pick them up and put them out on the streets, obviously, though in essence the law says you can. Any person inside a house who is not legally registered there must leave as soon as those who are request them to. But we can do this in a more human way. You'll have to let her know she's overstayed her welcome. Discuss a timeframe that is acceptable to both you and her, help her find a new place. She may be daunted by the prospect of moving or being alone, or just have settled into life with you. This should motivate her to start searching for a place.

No. If they stay one night, it's really almost like being at a hotel: you provide all the basic services. Usually, house guests should have the courtesy to go out in the morning and get some sort of breakfast. But you cannot expect them to do the laundry for you, not even to put in the laundry room. You can ask, though; 'By the way, could you drop your linen off in the laundry room in the morning?' But you can't expect it. If they stay more than one night, they really ought to contribute to the household. Then you can expect them to wash dishes, hoover, wash linen, etc.

If you are in Mexico, yes, try to arrive a bit later than the time agreed. It's just how we roll as Mexicans and it'll give the host/hostess a bit more time to prepare.

No, it is not acceptable for guests to invite others over to your home without your permission. Before their next visit, be nice but clear, "Our home is our sanctuary. Please plan to go out if you'd like to get together with others."

It is common courtesy that if they don't have a car, then you should be available to drive them. "Obligated" is a strong word, but they're your friends or family (presumably) and you've invited them to your home. Did you invite them thinking they wouldn't actually come? If you invite someone to your home and they have no way to get there, it would be nice of you to pick them up.