Q&A for How to Decide Whether to Marry a Man With Children

First, understand that you will never replace their mother, so do not try. Second, understand that the children are probably still grieving. Give them space while still being a step-parent. Continue making them meals and putting them to sleep. If they want to cry, let them. Listen to them. Some of them may throw temper tantrums. Remember, everyone grieves differently.

Sure, as long as you both want it. Just make sure you have a clear, agreed-upon idea of what your family life is going to be like after this and what boundaries (if any) there are to be between you and each other's kids.

Think long and hard about if you are ready to take care of the kids, and be able to deal with all the women. It is a big job taking on someone else's family, and no one can fault you if you need to walk away. If you are up to that challenge, try living with them first and see how it goes.

Try to understand that the child will not agree for a while to him replacing his/her mom, but try to explain that you are there to help them both.

When the relationship begins to get serious, maybe after six months or more, would be a great time to meet his kids.

In the majority of the USA, you may only be married to one person at one time. If the man was legally married but has not received a divorce decree, the marriage with you would be considered void ab initio - invalid from the start.

I believe you're under the impression that his ex will come over one day, or at least the invitation is still open for her to come over anytime. Talk to him and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable that his ex still has access to his place. He should respond with an attempt to get the key back from her. If he becomes defensive or shrugs it off, I would certainly question his empathy and understanding toward you and your feelings.

You should consider if you want to welcome drama in your life by marrying a man who you know has exes who may not make things easy for you. It can also be incredibly difficult to take on the role of a stepparent, so you will need to consider all of the challenges you will be faced with by becoming a parent.

You're marrying neither the kids nor the ex, you're marrying the man you love. Of course you will have to love and take care of the children, at least for whatever role you have to play in that. And the ex is also an issue. But neither should affect your innermost emotion towards this man, and that emotion is the main thing to consider in your decision. If it were my choice, I'd say yes.

If he has to go behind your back to see his own daughter, there is definitely a problem. The two of you need to be able to be honest and communicate before you can dedicate your lives to one another. In any relationship, there are pitfalls, and family approval can be a hard one to get over. If you both love him, you and your fiancee's daughter should be able to work it out enough between the two of you to both be in his life without any dishonesty creating more problems.

Yes, of course they can buy their father a Christmas gift. Where they get the money and how much it costs is none of your concern.

Either accept the person fully as they are, along with their children, or don't stay with the person. Their children certainly should not be stuck living with someone who can't stand them. You have to be unselfish and accept that the person's children need to be their top priority. If you really care about the person, do what is best for them. That means leave if you can't treat their children well or if you're going to be bitter with the person over their children.

Make sure you are compatible, and that your partner is safe, loving, honest and reliable. Moreover, ask yourself if you could imagine spending the rest of your life with this person.

Fall in love and care for him and his children.

That is a very complicated question, and I don't have enough information to give you a real answer. You need to think carefully. Why don't the boys respect him? Is he a bad father? How does he respond to them? What would your life be like if you married him? Talk to people you trust about the situation.

You are both adults; communicate with him. It may help to find out why she doesn't like you, but it shouldn't be a determining factor.

It is not wrong on a wife's part to let her children know that their father is going to leave them for another woman. Don't worry about the truth. When you and their father have made the decision to be in a relationship, accept that they won't be very supportive at first, given that their mother is going to be left alone. Try being calm in front of his children and wife. Neither speak too much nor expect a favorable response from them. Let the father handle this aspect. In time, they'll become habituated to things as they have become.

You might have been in a relationship with him despite his past and his wives. If you are okay with seeing your future with him and know how to be happy despite his other loving ex, you might be happy with him too. If you don't feel you could take such attention from his ex wife and it will bother you beyond control, make up your mind accordingly.

He has been honest about his wives and children. You are not in the dark. If you want to carry on with his plans, it is your decision, just as the decision to be his girlfriend was, despite his wives and six children. Ask yourself of you want to be in your boyfriend's life and bear children with him. Also, if you are concerned about finances, have an honest conversation with him about this.

The man is not just a father. You might have seen some qualities to date him at first place, knowing his past. If you are thinking of marrying him, you might have already committed to him. Having last moment jitters or doubts might be rooted in guilt or fears. Try to address your fears. If he is honest with you and if you see a future with him, then it is likely to be right. If you both are loyal and care for each other, then it can work.

When they are separated, you don't have the worry of whether they will leave their spouse for you or not, since it's already done. It seems you've been in a relationship with them knowing their status. If they treat you well and you feel like this will be your future path, you can choose based on this reasoning. A happy married life requires respect and love.