Q&A for How to Determine if a Child is Transgender

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What are the symptoms of gender dysphoria?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Admiring people of the gender they were not assigned at birth and wanting to wear their hair and clothes like people of the gender they were not assigned at birth are common symptoms. Notice if these things occur consistently over time.

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Question

What makes a transgender person?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

It is inborn. The person does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth and often never has. There is a mismatch.

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Question

What age does gender identity develop?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Transgender identification can begin as early as age 2 or younger, but more typically age 3. Some children will not identify until later. There is great variability depending on the acceptance in the environment.

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Question

I share a few of these traits but I am not transgender. Is this normal?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Yes, many people will identify with some of the characteristics mentioned in this article. It does not make you transgender. It is the consistency over time and the intensity of the self identification that makes a difference. Trust yourself!

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Question

I've talked about transgender people before(strong feelings that I am FtM) but my mom says its a phase. She claims she's not transphobic but she wont let me buy men's clothes. Is she in denial? Is there anything that can help me?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

The good news here is that you have already started a dialogue with a parent. That is a good first step. Don't expect that one talk will do it! Call her on her claim that she is not transphobic--insist that if she really is not, she would let you buy men's clothes as part of trying to discover your try identity. It's a place to start. and continue paying attention to your true feelings. WE all go through a lot of phases. Only you can discover the truth.

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