Q&A for How to Get over Someone You Never Dated

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  • Question
    How do you stop wanting someone you can't have?
    Jessica January Behr, PsyD
    Relationship Psychologist
    Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.
    Relationship Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    The first thing to do is to understand the fantasy component of the relationship in your head. It's probable that you don't really know a lot about the person, as you've never dated. Remember that most of the attributes that you connected to them are things that are only on your mind. Then you have to wonder why you feel like you love that person. Put your fantasy in check and learn to identify your needs to get on with your life.
  • Question
    Can you be heartbroken if you never dated?
    Jessica January Behr, PsyD
    Relationship Psychologist
    Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.
    Relationship Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Yes, you can! To get over that, check-in with yourself about how it feels to be in an unrequited love relationship. Do you feel angry? Do you feel betrayed? Are you hurt? Is your self-esteem taking a hit? Answer those questions and try to figure out a way to take care of yourself and to get your needs met, even though the person that you want to be fulfilling those needs can't necessarily do it.
  • Question
    We liked each other a lot in the past, but then I turned him down when he asked me out. Now I realize that I can't do without him. I want him back, but he distanced himself. How do I get over him now?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    He may have distanced himself from you to avoid getting hurt again. If you're sure that you want to be with him, tell him! You never know until you try. It may help to explain why you chose to reject him in the past, what's changed, and why you won't do anything similar in the future. Good luck!
  • Question
    How do I get over someone who is in my class? He said he doesn't like me back, but things that he does makes me think otherwise. I've liked him for 3 years, and I still really like him. What do I do?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Moving on from someone who you see constantly can be especially tough. You have to accept his decision though, even if it sometimes seems like he feels differently than he says. But there's a whole school (and world!) filled with people you could like just as much as him. Make a list of the qualities that bother you about him, then start trying to move on. You deserve to be with someone amazing who likes you back!
  • Question
    It's been over 2 months since the guy I love rejected me and I still can't get over him. Sometimes I don't feel like living anymore what should I do?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    You're not alone, and there are so many resources out there to help you feel like yourself again: In the US, call 800-273-TALK. In the UK, call 116 123. In Australia, call 13 11 14. In other countries, visit one of these sites to find a hotline: befrienders.org, suicide.org, or the IASP website.
  • Question
    How do I get over someone I never dated? I had to leave them. I had a good reason.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    So often, even when we care about someone, there are reasons that a relationship just won't work out. It's such a challenging situation, but it's great that you had the strength to leave. Now, focus on you! Go enjoy to something you love, reach out to a close friend, or spend time enjoying one of your passions. You did something hard—so you deserve to feel treated!
  • Question
    So I (girl) became good friends with someone who shares the same hobbies as me. We started to see each other on a regular basis. After 2 months of overthinking, she turned out to be straight. Any tips on moving on?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Wow, that's tough. You deserve to be with a partner who appreciates you in the same way you appreciate them. So, go find someone who can give you what you're looking for. You may still want her in your life as a friend down the line, but make sure you let your heart heal first.
  • Question
    How do I stop thinking about the one I love when they don't treat me well?
    Community Answer
    Realize that someone who treats you badly is not worth your time. True friends and emotional partners (boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.) value you and will, in turn, treat you kindly and with respect. There is no easy way to let go of someone, however. Just let go bit by bit, and you'll notice you will think about them less and less.
  • Question
    How do I get over someone I have a crush on when they ignore me?
    Community Answer
    Ignore them back. If they can't see how great you are, they don't deserve you. Move on and find someone else to crush on, or just focus on yourself.
  • Question
    What if I have liked the person for a very long time and fell hard, then they started liking me back, but now we're going to different schools?
    Community Answer
    You can still go out even if you're going to different schools. You can hang out on the weekends, talk, text, etc. Lots of people don't go to the same school as their boyfriend/girlfriend. If you don't think this will work out, just do your best to move on. It will be fairly easy if you're going to different schools, as you won't have to see them often.
  • Question
    What do I do if someone is treating me badly after wanting to be friends after dating?
    Community Answer
    Tell them you don't want to be their friend anymore. It's your right to do so, you don't owe anyone your friendship, and you shouldn't continue being friends with someone who mistreats you.
  • Question
    How can I get over someone if I love him with all my heart, but he loves my best friend?
    Community Answer
    Accept that a relationship isn't going to happen. Try to think of him as just a friend or even a brother. Focus on his flaws instead of the things you like about him. Distract yourself by focusing on your studies or your hobbies and remember that there is someone out there for you, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
  • Question
    How do I let go of someone I used to love?
    Community Answer
    There's some good advice in Get Over Someone You Love .
  • Question
    How do I get over someone who was my closest friend when it was more than a crush?
    Community Answer
    The best thing is to reduce contact with him/her. This will help you not to think about your friend.
  • Question
    How do I get over someone I never dated if I'm sad they only want to be friends?
    Community Answer
    It's okay to take a little time away from that person. You don't have to be friends right away, especially if you think that would make getting over this harder for you. Just remember that there's nothing you can do to change their feelings and try to accept it.
  • Question
    There is a guy I haven't talked to for a while, but can't get over. Would it help to block him on social media and delete his contact information?
    Community Answer
    Yes. It would help keep your mind off of him and in moving on.
  • Question
    I really thought he liked me, but he didn't. Turns out it was just me overthinking. How can I stop thinking about him?
    Community Answer
    You may find some helpful advice in Get over Someone That You Know Doesn't Like You .
  • Question
    Its been almost a year since we last spoke, and I still like them. Now one of my best friends has started talking to them. How do I get over him?
    Community Answer
    You have to be supportive of your friend, and for sure don't talk to him while she is because then you may lose a friend too. The best way to get over him is by finding someone else to focus on, while focusing on yourself.
  • Question
    Does this work with work crushes? It's a small office. Difficult to ignore him.
    Community Answer
    The best way to get over someone that you have to see a lot, like a work crush, is to admit to yourself that they don't feel the same way. When you really understand that reality, it's going to hurt, but it will oftentimes lessen your feelings. That person doesn't like you, even if you would like to imagine that they do. It's a tough pill to swallow but once you swallow it, those positive feelings tend to dissolve quicker than you may think.
  • Question
    What do I do if someone said they liked me, but they were just messing with me?
    Community Answer
    Then clearly they don’t deserve someone like you. Someone who plays with your feelings is not a nice person in the first place, so never fool yourself you like this person. Probably you find their physical self attractive more than their personality, so try your best to fall out of love.
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