Q&A for How to Have Phone Sex

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  • Question
    How can I arouse a girl over the phone?
    Nicole Moore
    Love & Relationship Coach
    Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.
    Love & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Don't be afraid to use your imagination! Dial up the fun by asking something like: "If nothing was off-limits and it would be great no matter what, what would you want to do with me sexually that we haven't before?"
  • Question
    Is there any harm in having phone sex every day?
    Community Answer
    Not really, no. Since it's over the phone, there is obviously no chance of pregnancy or STDs. Just make sure you (and your partner) are not feeling pressured to do anything you/they don't want to do.
  • Question
    Why would couples do this in the first place? Why can't they just do this in real life?
    Community Answer
    Maybe if the husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend is away somewhere and the person they are dating wants to do it with them but can't. In this case, phone sex might might feel like they are being intimate from afar. There are many potential reasons why though, it's personal and between the consenting partners.
  • Question
    Can we use Facetime?
    Community Answer
    Yes, but that's not the only way to do it. You don't need to have a video component if you're not comfortable with that. It's up to you and your partner.
  • Question
    What if I don't own a phone?
    Community Answer
    The point to phone sex is really to be on the phone. However, if you find a way to use online video chat, that could work as well. If all else fails, you could ask a friend to borrow their phone for the night -- just make sure they're on board with the plan beforehand.
  • Question
    Does phone sex involve use of your camera?
    Community Answer
    It could involve use of the phone's camera. It is entirely up to you and your partner. It may be worth a discussion with your partner. It all depends upon the rules you and your partner establish before and during the session. Pictures may heighten the level of excitement for each.
  • Question
    He hung up on me! What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Did you discuss the idea of having phone sex before you called him? He may be surprised or shocked by you coming on too strong over the phone if this is a new idea to him. Phone or text him back asking for a normal chat, then raise the matter of what you were trying to do and ask him outright if it's something he is keen to try or feels uncomfortable with. Then take it from there.
  • Question
    How do I overcome a fear of pain from sex toys?
    Kate Ewing
    Community Answer
    If you are scared of pain, start with something small and comfortable. Basically, in your comfort zone. Test any that you may be using during the phone sex before the call, so you can become comfortable. Remember, sex toys are a thing totally based on preference, and if you've tried it once or twice and still don't like it, then you don't have to use it.
  • Question
    Can I catch an STI from phone sex?
    Community Answer
    No, since your partner isn't actually with you.
  • Question
    What is a girl supposed to do?
    Community Answer
    She does essentially the same thing she would do if she were alone, except that she and her partner on the other end of the phone call are sharing by describing and other audible statements (moans and gasps for example) each others' feelings, thoughts and actions, etc. This is a form of sexually conversing.
  • Question
    What happens if you get tired?
    Community Answer
    If you get tired, it's time to stop. Sleep well!
  • Question
    What if I get another call or something? Or the dog walks in and kills the mood?
    Community Answer
    Don't answer another call or reply to any messages unless it's very, very important. Shut the doors. You can even turn off the call waiting function on your phone ahead of time.
  • Question
    How can I have phone sex with my ex-girlfriend?
    Community Answer
    If she's your ex-girlfriend, there's a pretty good chance she won't want to have phone sex with you. However, if you want to try, just be respectful. Maybe tell her how much you miss her, and make some flirtatious comments. If she responds positively, ask her if she's interested in having phone sex.
  • Question
    How do I answer when he asks me what I'm feeling?
    Killerjones
    Community Answer
    Express how you really feel. Take it easy and relax. He'll understand, especially if it is your first time.
  • Question
    Is role play a good idea? When should I do it?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it's a good idea. Choose a character which makes your partner comfortable. But don't waste time on it. Your partner may get bored.
  • Question
    What if I'm 12 and I want to have sex with someone, but I'm too embarrassed to tell her?
    Community Answer
    You're 12, you're too young to have sex. You will need to wait until you're more mature (physically, maybe, but mostly mentally/emotionally). If you like this girl, tell her you like her. Ask her out on a date. Hold her hand. Kiss her if she says it's okay. Take it one step at a time.
  • Question
    When do I use the sex toy?
    Community Answer
    That's completely up to you; use it whenever it feels comfortable. There's no need to use a sex toy at all if you'd rather not.
  • Question
    How does it feel when talking to girl online?
    Community Answer
    It feels a little weird, but keep control of yourself and everything will be just fine.
  • Question
    Do I have to moan during phone sex?
    Community Answer
    Nope! You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable doing.
  • Question
    What to do if I'm not comfortable with it but my partner insists?
    HelpfulHowTos
    Community Answer
    Then just don't do it. Both of you have to be comfortable with doing it. Explain to your partner that you just are not willing. Don't do it until you are sure you are ready and feel comfortable.
  • Question
    What if I don't trust the person, how can I become more comfortable with him?
    Community Answer
    If you don't trust the person, don't do it. Wait until you're more comfortable.
  • Question
    What if an 11-year-old child wants to have phone sex?
    Community Answer
    An 11-year-old is not physically or emotionally mature enough to do anything even remotely related to sex, and if they were to get caught, their parents would likely be very upset about it.
  • Question
    Does this cost anything?
    Community Answer
    Don't confuse this with paid sex sites. This article is generally confined to individuals who at least know one another and for some reason decide that they want to have phone sex. Then they generally proceed as this article says to proceed, and generally for free mutual enjoyment.
  • Question
    If we're exchanging pictures, what should I do if my member looks weird and is a different color than my boyfriend's?
    Kate Ewing
    Community Answer
    People's bodies are different, there's nothing wrong with that. If you are truly in a caring relationship with your boyfriend, then you shouldn't have to worry if you think it looks weird, just know that he won't care. If it really feels like a problem to you, you can do one of two things. One, bring it up to your boyfriend before the phone sex and have a conversation about it. Two, if it is still really bothering you, just don't send pictures.
  • Question
    Does it feel like real sex?
    Community Answer
    The only thing you physically feel is under your total control. Therefore, if you consider masterbation to be "real sex" then the answer is yes.
  • Question
    Can someone get pregnant from this?
    Community Answer
    No. Phone sex doesn't usually involve any physical contact.
  • Question
    What about if I only masturbate while watching porn?
    Community Answer
    If you find porn to be the best way to masturbate, then you could use your cell phone's camera to watch your partner during a sexy video call. This is similar to porn in many ways, and many couples prefer being able to see each other during phone sex. Watching porn while having phone sex is not recommended, as it distracts you from your partner by making you think of other people, i.e porn actors. If you feel you can't live without porn or you'd rather watch porn than have physical sex, you should talk to a mental health professional about pornography addiction.
  • Question
    Is a sex toy helpful?
    BriannaPlays
    Community Answer
    In some cases, yes. It could make it feel more realistic, but if you're uncomfortable with sex toys, it won't be very helpful. It's all up to you!
  • Question
    What if I need to go to the bathroom?
    Community Answer
    Tell him/her to hold on, or tell them you'll call them right back.
  • Question
    I want to have phone sex with a boy that isn't my boyfriend and we're both 11 years old. Is it ok?
    MawerC
    Community Answer
    I would wait until you both reach a point where both of you are more mature.
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