Q&A for How to Make Friends With an Extremely Shy Person

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  • Question
    Do introverts have a hard time making friends?
    Ashley Pritchard, MA
    School Counselor
    Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    It really depends on the individual, but it's fair to assume that it might be a little harder to make friends if you're introverted. The important thing to recognize is that it's hard for everybody to make friends sometimes, even if it really doesn't appear that way. So, don't be too hard on yourself!
  • Question
    Whenever I try to talk to this shy person they only give one word answers and won't make conversation. I'm always the one to extend invitations to get together. Is this friendship worth pursuing?
    Community Answer
    If you enjoy spending time with this person, it's worth pursuing. It might be a good idea to express your feelings to this person, as they may have no idea that what they're doing bothers you. Everyone has issues and limitations, and your shy friend may not be able to change his stripes.
  • Question
    How do I become friends with a shy person if I'm really shy as well?
    Community Answer
    Be nice to each other. Compliment him/her. Try to talk. Talk about little things, such as the weather, an upcoming test, homework or the news. Don't be too pushy, and don't be scared to start the conversation.
  • Question
    I have a good friend, but we only talk to each other over text. She goes to my school, but whenever we're standing next to each other, it's always an awkward silence. How do we open up to each other?
    Community Answer
    Start the conversation! Explore your mutual interests, talk about shows you both watch, books you've both read, games you both play. You can even talk about school, ask her how her classes are going, what teachers she likes or doesn't like, etc. The more you talk in person, the easier it will get.
  • Question
    My stand partner in orchestra is somewhat quiet and reserved, and I am normally friendly, but I am very self-conscious in orchestra. It's been about a month. Any advice on making friends?
    Community Answer
    Just be nice. Smile and say hello when you see them in the hall. Maybe invite them to sit with you at lunch. Chat about orchestra, and then bridge other topics. You could say something like, "So, what do you like to do when you're not playing [instrument]?" Don't expect anything to happen overnight, but you should be able to gradually bring this person out of their shell.
  • Question
    How could I be less awkward?
    Community Answer
    Just don't be afraid. Communicating/socializing can be risky if one isn't careful, but but be bold and see where that gets you.
  • Question
    I want to be friends with a shy person, but I also have a crush on her brother. What do I do so she isn't weirded out?
    Community Answer
    Talk to her and be subtle about trying to become closer. Don't force the friendship or push her too much, and just be yourself.
  • Question
    My friend has a very shy brother who is a year older than I am, so I only see him at band practice. I've only heard him talk twice, and only about band. He seems nice, but how can I become his friend?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Next time you see him, say "hi", and mention how you like band practice and ask if he likes it, too. It's a good idea to simply say you think he seems like a nice guy and you want to chat a little. Prepare a few topics in your head, but keep the first conversation short. End it on a happy note, say you liked talking to him, but you have to go. Better to have a good but brief than a long conversation. Let him know he can always come talk to you.
  • Question
    How can I be less shy?
    Community Answer
    how to overcome shyness is a good resource for you.
  • Question
    I'm very shy. At work people, don't know how do approach me. Why is that?
    Community Answer
    It can be difficult for people of different temperaments to know how to engage someone who isn't at all outgoing or talkative. It will help if you put yourself out there more, offer up a little information about yourself and ask your co-workers questions about themselves. Just a little initiative can go a long way.
  • Question
    A girl in my class doesn't have many friends, and recently I've been socializing with her. She spends a lot of time with the "personal issue" counselor and is normally seen crying. How can I help?
    Community Answer
    It depends on exactly what the issue is. If it's something going on at home, it can really help to just be a nice, pleasant person. If you feel comfortable, let her know that she can talk to you about these issues if she wants. If it's a mental/emotional problem, you can compliment her, stay upbeat in her presence, and model happy, confident behavior. It's very nice of you to look out for her, just keep in mind that it's the guidance counselor's job to help her with her problems, not yours.
  • Question
    I went up and talked to someone, because they are always alone at lunch. I want to sit with them at lunch, but I usually sit with my friends. How can I welcome them into the group?
    Community Answer
    Tell them where you are sitting and that they should feel free to join your table. Introduce them to your friends, it's that simple.
  • Question
    I have a crush on a shy guy, but I'm very outgoing and I don't want to make him feel intimidated. What can I do to ease the stress?
    Community Answer
    Maybe introduce him to the things you do or people you hang out with. Let him know about you and what you like doing, so he might feel comfortable around you.
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