Q&A for How to Pass Gas in Bed Without Anyone Noticing

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  • Question
    What should I do if I don't have a sphincter?
    Community Answer
    A sphincter is a muscle that holds the anus and bladder closed. Everybody has one.
  • Question
    What happens when the smell is so bad, your eyes are watering?
    Community Answer
    Well, then I think your bed partner will know you farted. Laugh about it.
  • Question
    What if someone is giving me a piggy back and I need to pass gas?
    Community Answer
    Just pass it. You could ask to be lowered down and move away from that person if you want to be a little more discreet.
  • Question
    What do I do if I have to pass gas in a bathroom stall but there aren't any diversions available? Should I still do it?
    Community Answer
    If you are in the bathroom, you are in the optimal place to do it. Do it there, as opposed to anywhere else.
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm alone with my friend and one of us farts?
    Caeiia
    Top Answerer
    Say "Sorry" for politeness's sake, but chances are the other person won't care. It shouldn't be a big deal.
  • Question
    My girlfriend farts in my face every one and awhile. She is very sensitive to criticism. How do I tell her to stop?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    You don't have to be rude or insulting, obviously, but you also can't just let it go. If you feel this is something you don't like, you'll have to let her know. Just because she's sensitive to criticism doesn't mean you can't criticize her. Take her feelings into account, but certainly do address the issue. "Look, honey, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I truly feel bad when you do that."
  • Question
    What if I really need a pee and pas gas, but there are no bathrooms?
    Community Answer
    Hold the gas in, and the urge will go away. If you need to pee and there is absolutely nowhere to go without being seen, then keep really still and cross your legs. Only move to change positions.
  • Question
    What if I want to pass a lot of gas in meeting?
    Community Answer
    Then you should try this as you would in bed. Lean as back as you can, put your hands under your butt and open it and let it out slowly. Try not to attract too much attention to you as you will get more nervous and you will result in failing to silently pass gas.
  • Question
    What can I do if I m in public?
    Community Answer
    If you need to publicly pass audible gas, try to make some noise as a distraction. A quick cough, shout, or a loud question may be the best way.
  • Question
    What if I wet myself while farting?
    Community Answer
    Go to the bathroom and clean yourself off. You can wash the sheets afterwards.
  • Question
    What about having to fart and can't?
    Community Answer
    Just let it come naturally, I suppose. Don't force it or it may be loud or it might not even be a fart.
  • Question
    What do I do if I fart during sex?
    Community Answer
    Just say a quick apology and keep going. It happens, and most people will be understanding about it.
  • Question
    Do the granny panties with filters really work?
    Community Answer
    Yes! They work extremely well. If you don't have a pair, consider using a dryer sheet.
  • Question
    What do I do if when I fart I get explosive diarrhea and pee everywhere?
    Community Answer
    You clean up the mess. Then you start wearing diapers. You might also want to consult with a doctor.
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