Q&A for How to Start a Good Conversation

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  • Question
    How can I be more engaging when I talk to people?
    Lynda Jean
    Certified Image Consultant
    Lynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’
    Certified Image Consultant
    Expert Answer
    Always smile, make good eye contact, and listen more than you talk. Those things alone can get you so many places.
  • Question
    How do I pull others into a conversation?
    Community Answer
    Ask them about their opinions and experiences. Or, after stating your opinion, just say "What do you think?"
  • Question
    What do I do if someone's not interested in talking to me?
    Community Answer
    Try to find something you two have in common, like a book or musician that you both love. Learning more about a person can help you to better engage him or her.
  • Question
    I'm not comfortable being around girls. I would love to talk to them, but I lack courage, perhaps because I am not a good talker. How do I overcome this fear and talk to them?
    Celeste
    Community Answer
    Consider why you're afraid to talk to them. If you're worried about what they might think of you, try to think about how you can have a strong conversation instead of focusing on whether they like you. Remind yourself that girls are people, just like you. If one of them doesn't like you or rejects you, it's not the end of the world. Just put yourself out there, be nice and respectful to others, and you'll be fine.
  • Question
    How can I start a conversation about hobbies?
    Community Answer
    Ask the person what he likes to do in his free time. Take the conversation from there.
  • Question
    How can I talk to people when it stresses me out?
    Community Answer
    Studies show that we are more likely to like somebody if we have something in common, so if you know you have something in common with them, it's best to start with that. For example, if you sit by them in class you can turn to them and say something like "I wish this class ended sooner." Almost anybody is able to relate to that. A good way to keep the conversation flowing is to ask questions about the person and their interests. Take a deep breath if you get stressed.
  • Question
    I am shy and going to a gymnastics festival. None of my friends are in a room with me. I want to make new friends with the people I am in with, but I am not good at starting conversations. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Just be yourself. Try not to be afraid, and just have fun. Bring treats to share.
  • Question
    What topics should I avoid?
    Community Answer
    Although it all comes down to the group or type of person you are talking to, controversial topics such as religion, politics, race, and sexuality should generally be avoided when meeting new people, unless it's what binds these people together.
  • Question
    How can I end shyness?
    Community Answer
    There are some good tips in wikiHow article Not Be Shy .
  • Question
    How do people start conversations in different cultures?
    Community Answer
    Many people start by saying their language's version of hello or good day. Greetings can vary depending on whether it's a formal or informal situation. In some cultures, "what are you doing?" and "where are you going?" are common ways to start conversations.
  • Question
    How do you keep a conversation interesting and deep?
    Community Answer
    Discuss something that everyone is interesting in.
  • Question
    On the train I asked fellow passenger, "Are you on a business trip?" He replied "Why?" I wasn't sure if he was annoyed or just didn't want to reveal personal information. What do I say in this case?
    Community Answer
    Yeah, either the person was just rude or they didn't want to tell you anything personal. If something like this happens again, just say, "I was just making conversation. Sorry to have bothered you." Don't take it personally, these things happen.
  • Question
    How do I have conversation with my husband without him feeling attacked and throwing up defenses?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Leave him a graceful way out that allows him to save face. Imagine if he accidentally broke some plates. Don't ask, "Did you break these plates?", as this has only a yes/no answer. If he says no, you have forced him to lie; that's not your fault, but he might prefer lying to having to accept his mistake, which temporarily places him lower than you instead of being equals. In this example, it would be better to say "I'm so sad these plates got broken; I know it happens by accident, but I'd love a good hug from you right now." This still tells him you know he did it, but offers him a way to own up to it as well as make it up to you.
  • Question
    Sometimes when I'm talking to people, they say statements that I can't answer without really thinking. That just makes an awkward silence. How can I keep the flow of the conversation going?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    There are stopgap sentences for that. "Oh, interesting, I'll think about that." In fact, you're on the right track. Some people can take your non-reply for your confirmation that they're right, so you are free to state that you do not yet know if you agree or disagree until you've given it some thought. "This is really interesting and important to me, but I don't have an off-the-cuff answer and need time to think." Usually, that does end the conversation, though, so try to get a smooth transition into the next subject.
  • Question
    How can I start a conversation with an ex-girlfriend if she read my message but never replied?
    Community Answer
    In cases like this, you may have to talk to her in person. If she ignores in person or outright tells you she doesn't want to talk to you, you need to respect that and leave her alone.
  • Question
    How do I get the person to not think I am boring ?
    Tina Xing
    Community Answer
    How do you know if the person thinks you are boring? Do you think you are too boring? You can tell some jokes, or tell some stories about yourself. If those sound boring too, you can just let them speak.
  • Question
    How do I start a conversation with someone who is shy and sensitive?
    Tina Xing
    Community Answer
    Start by introducing yourself. A person who is shy and sensitive is usually afraid of starting a conversation themselves but will welcome someone else making the effort. Some people who seem shy may just be untalkative or feel afraid to say things. Start by introducing yourself, tell them your hobbies, and ask them for their opinions, hobbies and thoughts.
  • Question
    There are two main friend groups at my sports club and I am generally a shy person. And for 3 years, I have been sitting by myself alone. How should I start talking to them?
    Community Answer
    Try complimenting one of the people in the other groups for something they did in the game. For example, if someone got the winning point, compliment them and praise them. If you are just nice to other people like that, eventually they will want to be friends, But be patient, it takes time.
  • Question
    I am an extroverted person but I don’t have many friends. Neither do I want to end up being with a badly behaved person or something. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Just be kind, humble, and nice. If people can't like you for who you really are, then it's their problem, there's nothing wrong with being you.
  • Question
    What if i feel like I am shy ? What am I supposed to do?
    Community Answer
    Just let the other person talk, ask them about their life, what they did in the last day/week, how they are feeling, etc. You don't need to do much talking if you don't want to.
  • Question
    I always start conversations about the weather. What should I do instead?
    Community Answer
    Maybe try asking what someone has done that day, how they are feeling, if they are bored in lockdown or if they'd like to share their meal plans to help you decide yours.
  • Question
    What if I am not confident and I hate myself?
    Community Answer
    Learn to love yourself first, then move on to the bigger things. If you want to start a conversation, be nice, kind, and humble. If you are not confident, being humble should come fairly easy, and it is viewed by others as a virtue. Compliment other people when you can, and just be yourself, don't worry about what anyone thinks, it's how you see yourself that really matters.
  • Question
    How do I open a good topic when my boyfriend wants to talk to me?
    Akriti Dixit
    Community Answer
    Talk about what interests him or what interests you. For example, talk about your families or the shows you watch or your childhood memories and your dreams.
  • Question
    What should I talk about, what if I like a girl but we don't have much in common and she has other friends?
    Charlotte Sinkus
    Community Answer
    Make small talk and try to get to know her and her friends. Ask her how her day is going, her favorites and things like that.
  • Question
    How do I make my family interested in talking to me, I always feel left out while I'm around them and I don't know how to join them or their talks and sometimes they pay no attention to my presence.
    dhanvi manugunta
    Community Answer
    All you have to do with this is start a discussion yourself. For instance, if your family is talking about the food they ordered and is saying that it's yummy, then you step forward and tell them about some snacks you ate a friend's place. Just try this, it worked for me and I'm sure it'll do for you as well. And most of all, kick the feeling of being left out! Once you feel that you're really a part of the discussion (though you're not) then you'll automatically be allowed to partake.
  • Question
    In a group of mine, there are people of every age and I know them because of other friends. I want to start a conversation but we don't have anything in common. What should I talk about?
    dhanvi manugunta
    Community Answer
    Start the conversation by asking a question like 'how was your day?' and share ideas with which you connect the most and which is known to everyone in your group. You can also enquire about other's interests and stuff. But beware. You have to listen to everything, which you may/may not like. So, share your ideas with them and know theirs; picking up a new hobby will be great if you want, ask them for suggestions.
  • Question
    What are some things I can say to find out what we have in common?
    MichelleF2
    Community Answer
    Try asking about someone's likes or interests. Consider asking their opinion on certain topics. If there is an overlap, you have something in common and try to strike up conversation about this.
  • Question
    Do you have any tips on how to keep the conversation going other than school related topics? Once I say hi, I'm not sure how to keep going. I don't want to come off as weird.
    Community Answer
    Ask about hobbies and things they like to do. Topics like this will help with continuing the conversation so you get to know people better. Ask open-ended questions, the ones that won't just get answered by a yes or no, but require explanations as well. For example: "How many times a week do you go to sports practice?" rather than "Do you like sport?".
  • Question
    How do I make a girl pay attention on social media?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    This is not possible, as everyone is living their lives. It happens only rarely that we drop everything we're doing to see someone's meme or text, regardless of how funny or interesting it is. So there's nothing you can come up with that will be good enough to get her to pay attention right now. And since that's not possible, there's no need to try. That in turn frees up your energy and time to post whatever you're passionate about, be yourself, show who you are, which will attract people. With a little luck, she'll be among them.
  • Question
    I don't want to talk about something random like hobbies straight away, as it would sound weird. How do I start a conversation without being awkward to people in our English class?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Apart from being standard, even cliche topics to talk about, talking about hobbies also serves another purpose. It says, "I want to talk to you." When you buy a satellite dish, you need to tweak its orientation a little so it receives the signal. These topics, similarly, serve to orient you both. Sure it's a bit of filler, but it's useful.
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