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If you're at all familiar with Chinese language and culture, you may already understand that it's considered rude to say "no" in Chinese or to directly refuse an offer. In fact, there is no word in Mandarin Chinese that is the exact equivalent to the word "no" in English. The words you use to indicate your disagreement or refusal of something depend largely on the context of the situation. [1] X Research source
Steps
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Say "bù xíng" (不行) if someone asks your permission and you want to refuse. The phrase "bù xíng" literally means "not okay." Pronounce this phrase "boo sheeng." For the first word, your voice should start at a higher pitch and then fall to a lower pitch. In Mandarin, this is known as the fourth, or falling, tone. For the second word, start with a low pitch and raise your pitch higher. This is the second, or rising, tone. [2] X Research source
- This phrase is appropriate when someone asks your permission to do something, or asks you to give them something, and you don't want to go along with that. For example, if someone asked to borrow your credit card, you might respond "bù xíng."
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Switch to "bù kě yǐ" (不可以) if something is illegal or not allowed. "Bù kĕ yĭ," pronounced "boo kah yee," is similar in meaning to "bù xíng," but is typically used when you're talking about something you have no control over. The literal meaning of the phrase is "not can." This phrase introduces a third tone, in which you lower the pitch of your voice and then raise it. [3] X Research source
- The second word, "kĕ," is pronounced with a second rising tone, since the word immediately after it has a third tone.
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Use "méi yǒu" (没有) to say you don't have something. This phrase, pronounced "may-ee yooh," is used when someone asks you if you have something and you don't. It's also used if someone asks you if you've been to a place or experienced something and you haven't. It literally means "not have." [4] X Research source
- For example, if someone asked you if you'd ever been to Shanghai, and you never had, you might respond "méi yŏu."
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Exclaim "méi mén er!" (没门儿/沒門兒!) if you want to be more emphatic. The phrase "méi mén er," pronounced "may-ee mahr," means "no way." Someone might ask you something, and you respond with a softer answer. If they ask you again, you might use this phrase to indicate that there's no point in asking you again, you aren't going to agree to whatever it is they want. [5] X Research source
- For example, suppose someone asks to borrow your credit card and you respond "bù xíng." They then repeat their question. The second time, you might respond "méi mén er!" to let them know that the subject is closed and you aren't going to let them borrow your credit card.
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Dodge a question you would rather not answer with "wǒ bú tài qīngchǔ" (我不太清楚). Sometimes, someone will ask you a question that you don't feel comfortable answering. They also might ask you for advice or information that you don't want to give them. In those situations, you can respond "wǒ bú tài qīngchǔ" (pronounced "wah-deh boo tie cheen-chooh"). [6] X Research source
- This phrase more literally means "I am not really sure." However, it is also used as a sort of avoidance strategy to dodge the question. The person who asked the question will understand that while you may know the answer to the question they asked, you are unwilling to provide it to them.
Culture Tip: The art of saying "no" in China is closely tied to the Chinese concept of saving face. You essentially protect the "face" of the person asking you the question by not directly rejecting them. You also protect your own "face" by not having to say something potentially embarrassing or negative.
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Use "bù shì de" (不是的) to correct a factual misstatement. The phrase "bù shì de," pronounced "boo shih duh," is typically used when someone says something that isn't true and you want to let them know that. This phrase is used with concrete facts that can be proven true or false. [7] X Research source
- For example, if you are working and someone comes in and asks you if you're the boss, you might respond "bù shì de." The phrase literally means "not yes."
- To say this phrase with the correct tone of voice, use the fourth tone. Your voice starts at a higher pitch and falls to a lower pitch. The third word is said with a neutral tone, meaning that your voice should neither rise nor fall in pitch.
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Say "bù duì" (不对/不對) if you disagree with someone's opinion. The phrase "bù duì," pronounced "boo doo-ay," literally means "not right." This phrase typically isn't used to respond to incorrect facts, however. Instead, you would say it if you wanted to disagree with a statement someone made, typically a belief or opinion. [8] X Research source
- For example, if someone said to you that all Japanese people like sushi and you are a Japanese person who hates sushi, you might say "bù duì." Then you could explain your position on the matter.
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Mention the positive before the negative. Generally, if you disagree with something someone has said, it's polite to make a positive statement in Chinese before you make a negative statement. This places more emphasis on the positive than the negative. To use this formula, however, you'll need at least basic conversational skills in Chinese.
- For example, if someone proposes a trip that you think would be too expensive, you might start by talking about how wonderful it would be to go to that place. Then you could bring up the issue of finances.
Culture Tip: You can also start by asking a question, rather than stating your disagreement upfront. The question might encourage the other person to think about something they hadn't considered and come around to your point of view.
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Decline a gift before accepting it to show modesty. It's common for Chinese people to refuse gifts ritually before finally accepting them. This demonstrates modesty, which is a highly valued trait in Chinese culture. This ritual is not all that different from someone saying "Oh, you shouldn't have" in English when given a gift. Some phrases you can use to ritualistically decline gifts include: [9] X Research source
- Nǐ tài kèqì le (你太客气了/你太客氣了): You are being too kind.
- Bù hǎo yìsi (不好意思): Sorry to bother you.
- Gàn má dài dōngxi lái? (干嘛带东西来?/幹嘛帶東西來?): Why do you bring gifts?
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Say "bù yào" (不要) to indicate that you don't want something. If someone asks you if you want something and you don't, you might respond "bù yào." This phrase is pronounced "boo yow," with two falling fourth tones. Start with a higher pitch for each word, letting it fall to a lower pitch. The phrase literally means "not want." [10] X Research source
- For example, if someone asks you if you want a cup of coffee, you might say "bù yào."
Tip: This phrase is used more often to decline something that doesn't yet exist or that the person would have to get for you, rather than for something they already have.
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Use "zhēn de bù yòng" (真的不用) to decline an offer for something tangible or specific. If someone offers to give you something or do something for you and you don't want them to do it, say "zhēn de bù yòng." This phrase, pronounced "jehn duh boo yohng," essentially means "really, there's no need." You will likely need to go through several rounds of this before the person accepts your refusal. [11] X Research source
- For example, if you go out to lunch with a Chinese friend and they offer to pay for your meal, you might say "zhēn de bù yòng."
- You can switch up your word order as well. For example, you might say "bù yòng bù yòng zhēn de," which essentially means "no, no, really."
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Try "wǒ men xià yī cì zài qù ba" (我们(們)下一次在去吧) to decline an invitation. This phrase, pronounced "wo-ah mehn shah eee tsuh sigh choo bah," means "let's go next time." If someone invites you to go somewhere or do something with them, you can use this phrase to politely decline their invitation. [12] X Research source
- This phrase implies that the proposed activity will happen, just that now is not the right time. However, keep in mind that the person may ask you again at a later point.
Tip: If you're certain that you'll never accept the invitation, use "găi tiān ba" (改天吧), which also essentially means "next time." However, generally interpreted to mean that you will decline all future invitations as well.
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Mention "wŏ jīn tiān yŏu diăn shì" (我今天有点(點)事) to imply you are much too busy. Just as in English, you might decline an invitation by saying your schedule is booked, in Chinese you can say "wŏ jīn tiān yŏu diăn shì," pronounced "wo-ah tchehn chieh yoh dee-ehn sheh." This phrase essentially means "I don't have time today." [13] X Research source
- The phrase "wŏ jīn tiān méi yŏu kòng" (我今天没有空) also means "I don't have time today."
- These phrases imply that accepting the invitation is out of your control because you've already made plans, thus softening the blow of rejection. You can also combine phrases together to soften the blow even further. For example, you might say "wŏ jīn tiān yŏu diăn shì. Găi tiān ba." (I'm too busy today. Next time.)
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhy are there so many ways to say "no" in Mandarin?Tian Zhou is a Language Specialist and the Founder of Sishu Mandarin, a Chinese Language School in the New York metropolitan area. Tian holds a Bachelor's Degree in Teaching Chinese as a Foreign Language (CFL) from Sun Yat-sen University and a Master of Arts in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) from New York University. Tian also holds a certification in Foreign Language (&ESL) - Mandarin (7-12) from New York State and certifications in Test for English Majors and Putonghua Proficiency Test from The Ministry of Education of the People's Republic of China. He is the host of MandarinPod, an advanced Chinese language learning podcast.It's a little hard to understand as a non-native speaker, but responding in Mandarin requires the verb from the question. So if you want to picture what that would look like in English, it would sort of be like someone asking you "Do you like to play basketball?" and you would respond with "like" or "not like." So when people respond to yes or no questions in Mandarin, it can seem like there's thousands of different ways to say it. In reality, it's just that tacked-on verb that you're hearing.
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QuestionWhat if I don't get the tones right? Will people still understand me?Tian Zhou is a Language Specialist and the Founder of Sishu Mandarin, a Chinese Language School in the New York metropolitan area. Tian holds a Bachelor's Degree in Teaching Chinese as a Foreign Language (CFL) from Sun Yat-sen University and a Master of Arts in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) from New York University. Tian also holds a certification in Foreign Language (&ESL) - Mandarin (7-12) from New York State and certifications in Test for English Majors and Putonghua Proficiency Test from The Ministry of Education of the People's Republic of China. He is the host of MandarinPod, an advanced Chinese language learning podcast.It's possible! Try not to worry about getting the tones perfectly right if you're just starting to learn the language. It's kind of like pronunciation in other languages; if someone doesn't absolutely nail a pronunciation and it's clear that they aren't speaking in their native language, they aren't going to look down on you or anything.
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QuestionIs it rude to say no in China?Tian Zhou is a Language Specialist and the Founder of Sishu Mandarin, a Chinese Language School in the New York metropolitan area. Tian holds a Bachelor's Degree in Teaching Chinese as a Foreign Language (CFL) from Sun Yat-sen University and a Master of Arts in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) from New York University. Tian also holds a certification in Foreign Language (&ESL) - Mandarin (7-12) from New York State and certifications in Test for English Majors and Putonghua Proficiency Test from The Ministry of Education of the People's Republic of China. He is the host of MandarinPod, an advanced Chinese language learning podcast.The cultural context is extremely important when it comes to refusing or saying "no." It's not necessarily rude to decline something in theory, but there are certain situations where the way you say no matters a good deal. Declining a free meal from a relative and telling a stranger you don't know the answer to your question are situations where your tone and language may be radically different. Just try to be polite and you'll be okay!
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Tips
- There are different varieties of Chinese used in different parts of the country. However, Mandarin Chinese is the official language used in government and is spoken by over 1 billion people. If you speak Mandarin, chances are you'll be understood by most Chinese speakers, unless you are in an extremely rural area. [14] X Research sourceThanks
- Because Chinese is a tonal language, getting your tone of voice right when speaking the language is extremely important. Listen to native speakers saying the words you want to learn and try to mimic their pronunciation exactly, including their tone of voice.Thanks
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Warnings
- The pronunciation guides in this article are only approximations that will get you close to pronouncing the actual words correctly. To get your pronunciation right, listen to and mimic native speakers.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://www.digmandarin.com/chinese-people-say-no-various-ways.html
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ https://www.digmandarin.com/chinese-people-say-no-various-ways.html
- ↑ https://mandarinhq.com/2016/04/say-no-in-mandarin-chinese/
- ↑ http://blog.tutorming.com/mandarin-chinese-learning-tips/politely-decline-in-chinese
- ↑ http://blog.tutorming.com/mandarin-chinese-learning-tips/politely-decline-in-chinese
- ↑ http://blog.tutorming.com/mandarin-chinese-learning-tips/politely-decline-in-chinese
- ↑ https://www.omniglot.com/chinese/mandarin.htm
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