Keep your tone light and positive to avoid escalating the issue. “Thank you for your help with the kids. I like to keep them to the same bedtime routine, so I can handle it from here.” “Please, let me make the chicken. You’ve been on your feet all day, and I have a great recipe I want your opinion on.” Explain your side of the issue and stand up for yourself respectfully but firmly if she presses. “I know you just want to spend more time with the kids, but we’d really appreciate it if you just gave us a call first. It can be stressful when we get home from soccer practice or school and you’re already here.” “I know you’re curious about my past relationships, but I’ve been honest about them with you and my husband, and I don’t think I need to discuss them anymore. I don’t like dwelling on my exes, and I’ve been clear about that.” Ask for her side of the issue. Remind her that you care about her. “Can you understand my side of it? I’m willing to listen to your perspective too.” “We’re family and you know I want you to be a part of my life, but I need some things for myself, too.” Put your foot down if she ignores or dismisses your requests. “I know you have your own ways of doing things, and I respect that. But this is my home, and I have to insist that we stick to my rules.” “I know you love Becca, and I know you’re trying to help her. But you’re undermining our relationship and making her think things that aren’t true. That’s not fair to her or to me, and it needs to stop.”