Should I cut someone toxic out of my life?
I have someone in my life that I've determined is toxic and doesn't make me feel good. But it's so much more complicated than that – we have history, we've had good times together, and cutting them off completely feels like a big jump that I'm not sure I'm reaady for. If I cut them off, will I experience regret or negative blowback? What might go wrong if I do? Maybe I just need a pep talk...
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For a complete guide to this topic, read the wikiHow article Why Do I Cut People Off? 8 Potential Reasons & Benefits
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Expert Comments
There’s not necessarily a “right” or “wrong” answer to whether or not you should cease communication with someone you feel demonstrates toxic traits. There are ways of establishing some distance from someone without needing to make a cut-and-dry decision about it. However, if you are going to find peace by stepping back from a friendship, be true to what will make you feel best. Finally, remember that any decision you make doesn’t have to be permanent! Protect your energy, and remember to try and treat everyone who may be involved with respect.
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Yes, this is a difficult dilemma. Letting go of someone, even when they’re toxic, isn’t easy. It’s not just about the bad times; it’s about the history, the good memories, and the uncertainty of what comes next. But ask yourself: does this relationship bring you peace, or does it drain you? If nothing changed, would you be happy staying in it five years from now? Walking away doesn’t have to mean an immediate, drastic cutoff—it can start with small steps, like creating distance and protecting your energy.
Fear of regret is natural, but don’t mistake comfort for safety. The discomfort of change is temporary; the harm of staying is cumulative. Trust yourself. You don’t need permission to choose peace, and you don’t have to apologize for prioritizing your well-being. Whatever decision you make, know that you’re strong enough to handle it—and your future self will thank you.
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Fear of regret is natural, but don’t mistake comfort for safety. The discomfort of change is temporary; the harm of staying is cumulative. Trust yourself. You don’t need permission to choose peace, and you don’t have to apologize for prioritizing your well-being. Whatever decision you make, know that you’re strong enough to handle it—and your future self will thank you.
Reader Comments
I'm sorry that you have someone toxic in your life. Ultimately, it's best for you to cut them out of your life but I get that that can be stressful, especially if you have a long shared history or you're worried about the blowback. It's hard to say whether or not there will be blowback. Some toxic people are vengeful, and will try to turn your friends against you if you cut them out of your life. You can get ahead of this by talking to your friends about this toxic person. They may agree with you about this person's toxicity, and it will be nice to have their support as you cut the toxic person out of your life.
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One time I cut a toxic friend out of my life and they started getting threatening. They would text and call me constantly and harrass me. It helped to have a social support system. I talked to my good friends about the situation and they helped me feel safer. After ignoring the toxic friend for a while they started bothering me less and less, and now I don't hear from them. It sucked to go through the process of cutting them off but now I am so happier without them!
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Absolutely cut them off. As someone who has been the toxic friend before without even realizing it, cutting them off is the best thing that you can do for the both of you. It may seem sudden to them at first but this will prompt them to think about the way that they treat others and how that can be problematic. In the meantime, you get to enjoy your life without the weight of someone who doesn't bring value to your life.
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You got this!! I had a toxic person in my life that I cut out too. If you're scared about negative blowback you can try slowly drifting away from the person instead of just cutting them off. Start replying to them slower and be less available for things. If you can get them to believe that you stopped being friends because life got busy, it's less likely that they will get upset and try to make your life harder.
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Yes! Most definitely! Cut them off! The sooner you do! The much more better! you'll realize a lot! That you never realize before! Sometimes we tend to look over a lot of people's flaws! & Convince ourselves that it's just a faze or maybe their having one of those days..... Then you'll start to notice those "days" become more & more apparent and comes frequent! Especially on special days! Like let say you won an award or you're crush has finally asked you out! Or you suddenly accomplish something that you thought you weren't capable of! Those are the moments that toxic people love to dampen and bring out the worse in everything! Trust me! I went through it! The problem was it was too late for me to do anything about it.....
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To me the sign of a deep friendship is the depth of sharing intimate/personal information. Gradually reduce the info you share, eventually the relationship shall die a natural death.
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to not have regrets talk to them about what bothering you if they change their attitude then cut them out.
because that person won't get what you angry about unless you told him and if you will see him every day he will but the blame on you.
be honest kind and but your boundaries.
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because that person won't get what you angry about unless you told him and if you will see him every day he will but the blame on you.
be honest kind and but your boundaries.
Removing toxic people from your life is a difficult but necessary decision. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Set Boundaries – Clearly define what you can tolerate and recognize when someone crosses the line.
2. Acknowledge Your Feelings – If someone repeatedly hurts you, don’t ignore it; pay attention to your emotions.
3. Communicate Directly – If possible, speak openly and honestly with them about why you can no longer maintain the relationship.
4. Limit or Cut Off Contact – If they try to force their way back into your life, create distance.
5. Stay Firm in Your Decision – Toxic people often try to return, but if they haven’t changed, don’t put yourself through the same pain again.
6. Prioritize Your Emotional Well-being – After distancing yourself, focus on healing and spending time with positive people.
7. Seek Support from a Therapist or Trusted Friend – If it feels emotionally overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek guidance.
Taking these steps isn’t easy, but it’s essential for your mental and emotional health.
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1. Set Boundaries – Clearly define what you can tolerate and recognize when someone crosses the line.
2. Acknowledge Your Feelings – If someone repeatedly hurts you, don’t ignore it; pay attention to your emotions.
3. Communicate Directly – If possible, speak openly and honestly with them about why you can no longer maintain the relationship.
4. Limit or Cut Off Contact – If they try to force their way back into your life, create distance.
5. Stay Firm in Your Decision – Toxic people often try to return, but if they haven’t changed, don’t put yourself through the same pain again.
6. Prioritize Your Emotional Well-being – After distancing yourself, focus on healing and spending time with positive people.
7. Seek Support from a Therapist or Trusted Friend – If it feels emotionally overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek guidance.
Taking these steps isn’t easy, but it’s essential for your mental and emotional health.
Same!!! Once I thought of her as a friend but she has been looking at me like she hates me and I don't know why. She might be jealous because her crush seems to like me instead of liking her. Or maybe it's because I get to sit out in P.E. because I have asthma. Sometimes she acts like my best friend but other times she acts like I'm her worst enemy which I'm not!!!
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if the person is a family member.set boundaries and be assertive,tell him or her that you won't appreciate what him or her is doing.if the person refuse to stop despite everything then cut the person off.but if the person is not a family member cut the person off from start and set boundaries but first be prepared for the person rage and anger but don't get into fight with the person.leave the place but watch your back and if the person is following you,get help immediately.the truth is the good times you and the person shared is just to get you hooked, it's like the calm before the storm and if you don't cut the person off it'll get worse and your mental health will be seriously affected.your mental health is important than any relationship.if the person threatens you call the police, ASAP.you deserve to live in peace.you deserve to be happy and free
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Yes, absolutely. But, let me ask you: In what ways are they toxic? Do they talk about you behind your back, make fun of you, etcera? Let me know. If so, leave them.
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Well my understanding is this I have known this person I used to call a friend I thought she really was however she always trashed talk about people in her life especially this one someone she knows a long time she says she can’t even trust her anymore or not wanting to seek her friendship and then next thing she says we going to hang out together on 4th of July am like ok now I am thinking I can’t trust her or a word she says knowing this person has cut her off her life before so I call her toxic because of her always gossip about people she knows behind there backs and still wants to hang out with them especially her if she is this toxic why hang out with her and now I realize the person I used to call a friend isn’t really a friend at all just a toxic person using everyone in her Life including me so definitely can add to what I said or some advice I mean I used to care about this person like a sister now I feel it was all a lie because she loses so much people in her life because of this behavior I also see inconsistency behavior with her as of late to so yes I believe this person is toxic nowadays so thank you for allowing me to comment I know am better then this person I deserve better because I am a loyal consistent type of friend I know I have done things am not happy to admit but I have changed oh I forgot to say this toxic person always holds me with grudges that happened a year ago and supposedly forgiven me for things I have done she holds grudges on everyone I know this is poison.
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Same here, I just cut ties tonight. Cold turkey. It hurts in my chest but I’m trying not to think about it.
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