300+ Fun & Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner

Whether you’ve been together a few days or a few decades, there’s always more to learn about your significant other—and asking questions is one of the best ways to get to know them better and boost intimacy. Wondering what to ask? Look no further: we’ve got you covered with this list of fun, important, juicy, and spicy questions to ask your partner to bring you closer together and strength your relationship. Plus, hear from matchmaker and dating coach Lauren Sanders on why it’s so important to ask your partner questions and how to go about doing it in a way that’s fun, intimate, and safe for you both.

Great Questions to Ask Your Partner

How do you feel about the current state of our relationship?
How can we support each other better?
What’s your biggest goal in life?
How do you identify politically?
What do you think happens after death?
How have you handled change and uncertainty?
What’s a defining moment in your life?
If you could pick a theme song for yourself, what would it be?
What’s your favorite book and why?
Do you like receiving spicy texts?

Section 1 of 14:

Questions to Ask Your Partner About the Relationship

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Ask these questions to check in on how your relationship is progressing. You and your partner are always growing and changing—and so is your relationship! Checking in regularly about how you’re both feeling and any concerns you have can help you face any issues head-on. It’s also a chance to celebrate your wins as a couple!
- What does emotional intimacy mean to you?
- How do you feel about the current state of our relationship?
- What can we do together to strengthen our bond?
- Have you learned anything new about yourself since we started dating? ^{[1]
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- What are your expectations of me?
- How do you prefer to handle conflicts or disagreements?
- What do you love most about our relationship?
- What are your thoughts on vulnerability in a relationship?
- What’s your favorite way for us to celebrate special occasions?
- How loved and appreciated do I make you feel?
- How much quality time together feels right to you, and why?
- What activities do you enjoy doing with me?
- Realistically, how do you see our future together?
- How can we support each other better?
- What are your dreams and goals for us as a couple?
- What do you think is our biggest strength as a couple?
- What would you like us to do more often together?
- How can we improve our communication?
- Is there anything you’d change about our relationship?
- How do you feel when we spend time apart?
- How do you handle feelings of jealousy or insecurity?

Section 2 of 14:

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Goals & Dreams

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Ask them about their hopes and ambitions so you can cheer them on! You and your partner are a team, and their dreams are, in a way, also yours! Learning more about what their hopes for the future are and why can help you offer them support as they chase their dreams.
- What’s your biggest goal in life?
- What’s your dream job and why?
- How do you want to be remembered?
- What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
- How can we support each other better in our individual goals?
- How much money do you want to save for retirement?
- Is your current career/job the one you see yourself staying in?
- How old do you want to be when you retire?
- Is there anything you’re hoping to change in the next year? ^{[2]
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- What are your favorite hobbies or activities?
- If you could start any business, what would it be?
- How do you define success?
- What one habit do you have that you’d like to change?
- Who’s been the most important mentor in your career?
- What skill would you like to master?
- What have you always wanted to try, but haven't yet?
- How do you handle stress and challenges?
- Who inspires you to follow your dreams?
- What motivates you?
- What are your personal boundaries and how do you maintain them?
- What project have you always wanted to start?
- What’s your biggest career ambition?
- What dream have you held since childhood?
- Who are the most influential people in your life?
- Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years?
- How do you plan to achieve your dreams?
- What goal are you currently working toward?
- Where have you always wanted to visit?
- What are your biggest goals for the next five years?
- What would you do if you had unlimited resources?
- What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done?
- What’s one thing you hope to accomplish in the next year? month? week?

Section 3 of 14:

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Values & Beliefs

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These questions can help you determine if you and your partner’s values are compatible. According to Sanders, “Shar[ing] common interests, values, and life goals” as well as “a lot of the same beliefs about life in general, such as religious beliefs” is a sign you and your partner are compatible together. These questions about their values and beliefs can give you insight into how they view the world and where their priorities lie:
- What values are most important to you?
- Do you think a relationship can come back from cheating?
- When was the last time you voted?
- How do you identify politically?
- Do you think your politics will change as you get older?
- Is it important to you that we share the same political views?
- Do you think men should be passionate about ending misogyny?
- Do you think it's ever acceptable to lie? Under what circumstances?
- Do you consider yourself a member of a particular political party?
- Have you ever lied to me? Would you?
- Do you think we have similar financial goals?
- How important is religion to you?
- Do you follow a specific religion?
- If you follow a certain belief system, is it important to you that I do, too?
- If you follow a certain belief system, is it important that your future kids do, too?
- Are there any core values you have that you think might become an issue between us in the future?
- If you were ever to have a child, what would be your biggest priorities?
- Do you think it’s OK for couples to live together before marriage?
- Do you believe the phrase “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is true?
- Do you think people ever truly change?
- Do you think your attraction to me will change as we get older?
- Does your family have any cultural values or traditions I should know about?
- What kind of role do you see friendships and community playing in your life ten years from now?
- What do you think happens after death?
- What were your earliest experiences with spirituality?
- Do you believe in a higher power?
- What values do you appreciate in others?

Section 4 of 14:

Questions to Ask Your Partner About the Past

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Ask your partner these questions to learn more about their history—including the tough stuff. Asking your partner questions about their childhood, upbringing, and even traumatic and tough memories is a way to learn more about who they are and what they value. These questions may be difficult to answer, so be sure to give them plenty of time and space, and avoid pressuring them to talk about anything they’d rather not discuss.
- Who was your role model growing up, and why?
- How have your past relationships influenced your views on love and commitment?
- Do you think it’s true that we are all essentially the same person we were as a child?
- What’s your earliest memory?
- If we’d known each other as kids, do you think we would have been friends? Do you think we would have dated in high school?
- What are your favorite family memories?
- How have you handled change and uncertainty?
- Which five words would you use to describe your childhood?
- What did your parents’ relationship teach you about relationships? What (if anything) will you carry forward into ours?
- What about your parents’ relationship do you not want in ours?
- What’s your biggest regret?
- What’s your happiest memory?
- What’s your saddest memory?
- Is there anyone you’ve lost touch with over the years that you wish you hadn’t?
- What are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
- Who were your heroes when you were growing up?
- If you could live one day from your life over again, what day would it be?
- Have you ever been cheated on?
- What’s the most challenging thing you’ve ever done?
- How do you think your childhood has shaped who you are today? ^{[3]
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- What’s the hardest experience you’ve ever endured?
- What did you love to do most as a child?
- How did your parents influence your views on relationships?
- What’s a defining moment in your life?

Section 5 of 14:

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Fears & Insecurities

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Being in a relationship means being able to share your hopes as well as your fears. You and your partner are one another’s trusted confidants, or should be. Talking to one another about what scares you and makes you insecure can teach you more about one another and your dynamic. It can also help you both remember that you’re not alone!
- What are your biggest fears and how do you deal with them?
- Do you remember when and how your biggest fear originated?
- How do you cope with change or uncertainty?
- What challenges from your past have made you stronger?
- Do you feel comfortable talking to me about the things that scare you?
- How can I support you as you work to overcome your fears and insecurities?
- Do I ever do anything that makes your insecurities worse?
- What do you worry about the most?
- How do you relax when you’re overcome with worry or anxiety?
- What can I do to help you relax and alleviate your anxiety?

Section 6 of 14:

Fun & Random Questions to Ask Your Partner

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Asking questions is also a way to let loose and laugh together. Unwind during your next date night with a glass of wine or tea and some fun get-to-know-you questions! Ask these random questions to learn more about your partner’s interests, past, sense of humor, and more, including some fun ones from Sanders:
- What was your favorite subject to learn in high school? College?
- What was your worst online dating experience, and how did you handle it?
- What’s your favorite place to travel and why?
- What's your favorite movie of all time and why?
- What are most people surprised to learn about you?
- What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you?
- What's your favorite way to relax?
- What actor would play you in a movie version of your life?
- What's a funny or embarrassing story from your childhood?
- Who was your first celebrity crush?
- What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?
- Where should our next vacation be?
- Who’s your hear me out ?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
- If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?
- What’s your favorite game?
- What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?
- If you could pick a theme song for yourself, what would it be?
- How do you feel about tattoos?
- If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
- If you could live in any historical period, which one would you choose?
- If you could instantly learn any skill, what would it be?
- If you could be any animal for a day, what would you be?
- What food could you eat every day?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?

Section 7 of 14:

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Favorite Things

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Ask your partner about their taste and style. Do you know their favorite book? Their favorite band? Movie? Color? Food? Asking each other questions about your favorite things will help you both feel positive (because who doesn’t love talking about their faves?) as well as teach you more about each other and see where your interests overlap.
- What’s your favorite book and why?
- What’s your favorite season and why?
- What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?
- What’s your favorite type of movie or TV show?
- What was your favorite childhood toy or game?
- What’s your favorite holiday, and how do you like to celebrate it?
- What’s your favorite song or music genre?
- What’s your favorite sport or physical activity?
- What’s your favorite place to relax?
- What’s your favorite food and why?
- What’s your favorite animal and why?
- What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
- What’s your favorite type of weather?
- What’s your favorite quote or saying?
- What’s your favorite color and why?
- What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family?

Section 8 of 14:

Deep & Juicy Questions to Ask Your Partner

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These juicy questions will be tough to answer, but they’re worth asking! Would your partner rather live forever, or die tomorrow? Would they live in another time if they could (and if so, which one)? Ask these tough and deep questions to learn something you might never have expected!
- Would you rather live forever or die tomorrow?
- If you could live in another time, would you (and if so, which one and why)?
- What’s something you’ve never told anyone else before?
- When do you feel most fulfilled?
- What's the last movie that made you cry?
- Which celebrity would leave you starstruck in real life?
- Are you proud of your accomplishments thus far?
- How would you define success?
- Do you consider yourself successful?
- What was the last thing you searched on Google?
- Do you think you've changed a lot since we started dating?
- What's your guilty pleasure?
- How do your friends make you feel?
- If you could go on any reality TV competition show, which would you pick?
- If you started a podcast, what topic would it be on?
- What do you think is more important: an emotional connection or a physical connection?
- What's the last book you read for fun?
- What's the craziest dare you've ever accepted during Truth or Dare?
- What's one fact no one else knows about you?
- Do you believe in astrology?
- If you could go back in time and live in any historical era, which would you pick?
- What was your childhood like?
- Would you change anything about your upbringing?
- How did your parents impact your view on love and relationships?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- What gets you out of bed in the morning?
- What's your biggest fear? Do you think you could face it?
- What’s a hidden talent you have that you never get to show off?
- What's the hardest decision you've ever had to make?
- What's the story behind your middle name?
- What's the biggest misconception people have about you?
- How do you deal with personal challenges?
- Did you ever have to break up with a friend? How did it go?
- Have you ever had your heart broken?
- What's your most memorable experience from high school?
- Do you ever feel like you lived a past life?
- What do you think are the most important qualities of a healthy relationship?
- What's the biggest risk you've ever taken?
- What's your favorite quality about yourself?
- Who are you closest to in your family?
- If you could host a dinner party with any famous person, who would it be and what would you talk about?
- Do you think men and women can ever just be friends?
- Who is someone in your life whom you know you can always rely on?
- What do you love about your mom? your dad?
- What makes me attractive to you?
- Do you believe that every person has one soul mate?
- How many serious relationships have you had?
- Would you rather be remembered for something bad, or forgotten immediately after you die?

Section 9 of 14:

Flirty Questions to Ask Your Partner

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Relationships thrive on flirtation—these questions can help. Even if you’ve been out of the honeymoon phase for a while, asking flirtatious questions can still get those butterflies fluttering in your bellies! Try these questions to tease your partner and make them feel all tingly inside:
- Do I look good in any particular color?
- What’s your favorite physical attribute on me?
- What do you like best about the way you look?
- What’s your favorite inside joke of ours?
- Do you ever think about me during the day?
- What’s your guilty pleasure?
- Do you associate any particular song with me or with our relationship?
- Do you remember the first words we spoke to each other?
- Do you remember what I wore on our first date?
- Do you like it when I wear perfume or cologne?
- Do you like PDA? ^{[4]
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- How do you feel when I touch you?
- Where do you like me to touch you?

Section 10 of 14:

Spicy Questions to Ask Your Partner

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Make them blush with these sexy questions! Asking questions can help you develop emotional intimacy—but it can also help boost your sexual intimacy. These sexy and sultry questions are sure to teach you more about one another and help you spice things up in the bedroom:
- Do you like receiving spicy texts? ^{[5]
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- Are you satisfied in the bedroom?
- Do you like it when I initiate?
- Do you like to listen to music during sex?
- Do you like to listen to music while we’re making out?
- What non-sexual act turns you on the most?
- What’s the dirtiest thing somebody has ever said to you?
- Do you like to move fast or take it slow?
- Are there any aspects of sex and intimacy you haven’t explored and want to?
- Do you ever want to open our relationship?
- Do you wish we used more sex toys together?
- Have you ever been blindfolded or handcuffed? If not, would you like to be?
- Do you wish I were more affectionate?
- What was I doing the last time you felt turned on by me?
- Would you ever want to make a sexy film together?
- What's a fantasy of yours you’ve never told me about?
- Do you like to talk dirty in the bedroom?
- What's your favorite type of kiss?
- How many times do you think couples should have sex a week?
- Do you like it when I wear lingerie?
- Do you like wearing lingerie?
- What's the number-one sexiest thing about me?
- What's an immediate turn-on for you?

Section 11 of 14:

Cute & Romantic Questions to Ask Your Partner

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Make sure they know how much you love them with these sweet questions. “What’s your favorite thing about me?” “What’s your love language?” “How do you define ‘falling in love’?” Asking questions is your opportunity not just to learn more about your partner—it’s a good romantic date night activity! Give your partner heart eyes with these uber cute and sweet questions:
- What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
- What’s your favorite thing about me?
- What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
- What makes you feel secure in our relationship?
- What’s your love language?
- Would you like to receive flowers?
- How would you tell our love story? ^{[6]
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- Do I make you feel valued?
- Do I show up in your dreams?
- What's your favorite memory we've made together?
- Do you like it when I cook for you?
- Do you think couples should talk about engagement rings before they get engaged?
- Do you like cooking for me?
- Do you have any good relationship models? Who?
- What's one thing we haven't done yet that you're excited to do with me?
- Do you prefer fancy date nights or casual ones?
- How would you define falling in love?
- When did you know you were in love with me?
- How do you like to express love?
- How do you feel about sharing your thoughts and feelings?
- Do you think it's possible to fall in love at first sight?
- What’s the wildest thing you’ve done to impress someone?
- What’s something I do that makes you smile?
- What makes you feel most connected to me?
- What is something you appreciate about our relationship that you’ve never told me about before?
- What’s a hobby you think we should try together?
- What’s your favorite love song?
- What is your favorite time of day to go on a date?
- Do you like having breakfast in bed?
- Do you ever imagine what our future house would look like?
- Do you ever imagine what our kids would be like?
- What does your ideal date night look like?

Section 12 of 14:

Important Questions to Ask Your Partner

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These questions about the future will make sure you’re both on the same page. You and your partner may check each other’s boxes in just about every way, but if you’re not honest about the tough stuff or on the same page about certain deal-breakers and expectations for the relationship, you’ll be less likely to thrive as a couple. Ask these important questions to get down to the nitty gritty with your partner, including some of Sanders’ go-tos:
- Can you tell me about the first time you fell in love?
- Why didn’t things work out with your first love?
- Why did you break up with your last partner? What happened?
- What can you tell me about your upbringing with your family?
- What qualities do you think are most important in a partner?
- How do you express your emotions?
- How do you handle anger?
- Do you get jealous?
- What do you do when you feel stressed?
- How do you define a committed relationship?
- How do you define infidelity?
- What kind of parent do you want to be?
- How do you think responsibilities should be divided in a marriage?
- Do you think it's possible to stay in the honeymoon phase forever?
- Do you think couples should have shared financial power in a relationship, or should it fall to one person?
- Do you think the mental load of our shared responsibilities is equally divided?
- Do you want pets in the future?
- Where do you see yourself building a home?
- What was your longest relationship?
- Do you think we have sex enough?
- How can we keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship?
- Would you ever go to couples therapy?
- Do you think we fight fair?
- Would you sacrifice your career goals for love?
- Has anyone ever made you feel belittled at work? What about in your personal life?
- Are you friends with your coworkers?
- Would you rather be a stay-at-home parent or a working parent?
- Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
- Do I do anything that bothers you?
- Do you like it when we hang out with your friends together?
- Do you like hanging out with my friends?
- Do you see yourself getting married one day?
- Can you see yourself getting married to me?
- Do you see yourself having kids?
- Do you still keep in touch with your exes?
- Why did your last relationship end?

Section 13 of 14:

Why ask your partner questions?

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Asking your partner questions can help strengthen your connection. You may feel like you know all there is to know about your partner—and that what you don’t know, you’ll sort of just…find out naturally. But asking questions signals to your partner that you want to know more about them, and it’s also an opportunity to reflect on the relationship in a more intentional way. Asking questions—both silly, sexy, and serious—can improve your relationship by: ^{[7]
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- Building trust between you and your partner.
- Teaching you both more about one another.
- Enhancing your communication skills.
- Allowing you to discover things you have in common.
- Helping you establish a safe space where you can be yourselves.
- Fostering personal reflection and growth.
- Strengthening emotional intimacy.
- Keeping the relationship interesting and new.

Section 14 of 14:

FAQs

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1

How do I start asking these types of questions? You and your partner can agree to ask each other questions during your next date over a bottle of wine—it can be a fun way to enjoy each other’s company. But for some couples, running through all of the questions on this list might make your conversation feel more like an interview and add unwanted pressure. In that case, pocket a few and ask them at a time when you and your partner are both feeling relaxed and safe, and neither of you has anywhere to be or any immediate demands on your to-do list.
2

How can I tell if my partner isn’t comfortable discussing a certain subject? If your partner seems awkward or anxious, avoids eye contact, fidgets, changes the subject, or gives brief, non-committal answers, there’s a good chance they’re uncomfortable with a question you’ve asked. It’s possible they’ll open up when given the space, but they may also just not want to discuss a certain topic. Regardless, give them space and let them know you can always change the subject.
3
What if my partner doesn’t want to answer certain questions? It’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries. If they’re not comfortable responding to a certain question or discussing a specific subject, say, “Let’s talk about something else—there’s no pressure, and you can share whenever you’re ready.” ^{[8]
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- In some instances, if your partner isn’t comfortable talking about a certain subject, it can be helpful for you to go first and share your opinions, feelings, and experiences. They may feel encouraged and safe to open up themselves.
4
How regularly should my partner and I have deep conversations? It depends on you and your partner. There’s no solid answer for how often you should check in and ask questions about your relationship or each other, but Sanders stresses that good communication is what makes a relationship work. Making asking questions a weekly or monthly habit can help strengthen your relationship and make sure you’re pretty much always in sync with one another—especially if you build asking questions into a fun and romantic date night!
- Then again, for some couples, scheduling a Q-and-A session may add unwanted pressure—it could be more helpful to ask questions spontaneously!

Join the Discussion...

What are some fun questions to ask your partner?

wikiHow Editorial Team

Here are some fun questions to ask your partner to get to know them on a deeper level:

Who's your "hear me out" character?
What’s your favorite chain restaurant?
What kind of adventures do you want to have?
What was the best birthday present you’ve ever gotten?
What was the worst birthday present you’ve ever gotten?
What's your favorite movie soundtrack?
What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?
Have you ever seen a ghost?
What was your very first job?
What’s your go-to karaoke song?

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300+ Fun & Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner

Great Questions to Ask Your Partner

Steps

Questions to Ask Your Partner About the Relationship

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Goals & Dreams

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Values & Beliefs

Questions to Ask Your Partner About the Past

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Fears & Insecurities

Fun & Random Questions to Ask Your Partner

Questions to Ask Your Partner About Their Favorite Things

Deep & Juicy Questions to Ask Your Partner

Flirty Questions to Ask Your Partner

Spicy Questions to Ask Your Partner

Cute & Romantic Questions to Ask Your Partner

Important Questions to Ask Your Partner

Why ask your partner questions?

FAQs

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