Finding the right person When thinking about suggesting a FWB relationship with someone, choose someone with the following attributes: * Available (i.e., single, emotionally stable, not grieving a bad relationship or loss) * Independent (i.e., they have their own life going on and won’t be vying for your time) * Someone you already like (but not someone you’d ever consider dating) * Someone with experience (i.e., they’ve had casual flings before—this is ideal but not required) Asking someone on a dating site Dating sites are a great place to find a friend as you can filter your search results according to the kind of relationship they’re looking for. Regardless of what their profile states, be clear about the fact that you are not looking for a committed relationship. Examples: “Hey, I came across your profile and think you’re really cool. It says you’re looking for a FWB type of situation and so am I. Are you interested in meeting for coffee sometime?” “Hey, your profile caught my eye. You seem really clever and—I’m sure you get this a lot—you’re drop dead gorgeous! I’ll be honest, I’m not looking for anything serious, just someone to have some fun with. Let me know if you’re interested.” Asking an acquaintance You may have met someone at a bar, coffeeshop, diner, or bookstore and have hung out a few times (or even been physically intimate). If you think they’d be a good fit for a FWB relationship, bring it up after you’ve hung out a few times and/or have established some rapport. Examples: “I want to be honest and respectful, so I won’t lie and say I’m looking for a serious relationship. I find you attractive and smart and I think we could have some fun together, meaning, without any drama or commitment. What do you think?” “I think you’re amazing and love spending time with you, but I must be honest and tell you that I’m not looking for a committed relationship—I don’t have the time to devote to any serious partner. But since we get along and are attracted to each other, we could have some fun, no strings attached, if you’re okay with that? Avoid asking a coworker Mixing business and pleasure is always a bad idea as when the FWB relationship ends, it will be awkward having to see them all the time (and might even affect your work). That being said, it could be okay to ask former coworkers or temporary freelance hires (as long as you know you’ll be unlikely to see them regularly). Avoid asking a friend Someone in your friend circle may seem like a good choice, but this can get awkward very quickly and create a rift among your group of friends. Most FWB relationships last only a few months, so choose someone who you won’t have to be around all the time.