Notice when you’re assuming something about someone or yourself. “I was thinking that I must’ve been stupid to not realize that mistake, but that’s like expecting myself to know something I never learned.” “I’m assuming that he thinks he’s better than everyone else because he never talks to me, but that’s not really a fair thing to think.” “I was thinking she must not work as hard as me, because I get better grades. But actually I don’t know how hard she works or studies; I’m just assuming that I do.” Pay attention to when you’re holding yourself or someone else above others. “I’m assuming that everyone else is smarter because they all got that question right.” “I was thinking that I was better than him because I talk to other people more than he does, but that’s not true.” “I was assuming that I’m a harder worker than she is.” Ask yourself what the unbiased truth of the situation is. “The truth is that I didn’t expect that question to be on the test, so I didn’t prepare for it. That doesn’t make me dumb. There’s no way I could’ve known ahead of time that it would be there.” “I really don’t know him very well, and I’ve never given him much of a chance to talk to me. I don’t know if he’s stuck-up or not. It might be that he’s just shy.” “I don’t know how hard she works or how smart she is. I’ve never talked to her about it or offered to help her.” Restructure your thoughts to give yourself or the other person the benefit of the doubt. “Instead of beating myself up about one question, I can try to learn from this. Now I know what kinds of questions will be on the test for next time and I can prepare better.” “I’ll try starting a conversation with him the next chance I have. Until then, I won’t assume that I know anything more about him than I really do.” “There might be outside issues that make it hard for her to find time to study, or this subject might be especially hard for her.”