So, the two of you are an interfaith couple, with a Christian who believes in an Almighty God, and a spouse, an Atheist who doesn't. The two of you are very much in love, and want your marriage to be as happy as possible and defy all the odds including your differing views on God and life.
Steps
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Know that Atheists are people just like Christians. Some are nice, some are not. Some are happy and successful, some are not. Never assume anything about a person because of their religion, spirituality, or lack thereof.
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Continue to attend Church regularly on your own. Do not force your spouse to attend with you, if he/she does not wish to. That is disrespectful to their views, and may cause your spouse to harbor resentment.
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Plan how you will raise your children in advance with your spouse. If you wish to raise them as Christians, make that clear with your spouse. In fact, this should be done with any interfaith couples, be they Christian/Atheist, Christian/Jewish, Muslim/Jewish, Muslim/Atheist, Christian/Confucianist, and so on.
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Plan in advance what kind of wedding you intend to have with your spouse-to-be. Plan whether you will have a church wedding or a wedding performed by a Justice of the Peace.
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Avoid the subject of religion or politics with your spouse unless you can engage in the discussion peacefully. Religion is a sensitive subject for many, so if things take a turn toward hostility, it's best to leave it alone. However, peaceful and insightful discussions can be intellectually satisfying, so if both of you are able to handle it, go for it.
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Avoid statements that imply or outright state that you think they're wrong or that you pity them. It's very hurtful to be told that what you truly feel is wrong or something to be looked down upon -- by your own spouse nonetheless. If you do feel that way, try to overcome them, or at least keep them to yourself.
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Don't try to force your spouse into your religion. This will cause marital problems and will not help. Besides, their "faith" would probably come from superficial reasons instead of true belief in God. By that same token, nor should your spouse try to force you into his/her Atheism, nor mock your beliefs. That too, will cause marital problems, as your faith is really sacred to you.
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Open the door for discussion, and use it peacefully. Explain that they can come to you if they have a problem, or if they feel that you aren't respecting them, and that you can discuss it together without anger on your part. Then, ask that they do the same for you if you feel that they aren't respecting you.
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Agree to disagree. Sometimes, you just won't be able to see things their way, and the same goes for them. If your spouse and you are constantly butting heads on the issue of religion, it may be best to learn how to walk away and accept that your views are different.Advertisement
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Tips
- Do not be paranoid over the state of your spouse's soul, simply because he/she is an Atheist. Christian faith says that God sees and knows all our hearts, and your spouse may still come to believe, repent and be baptized. Jesus said "I tell you,... except you repent, you shall all likewise perish." [1] X Research source And, for salvation Jesus explains: "He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned." [2] X Research sourceThanks
- If you find yourself getting angry in the midst of a discussion of viewpoints, or your spouse finds themselves getting angry, it's best to walk away and cool down first before resuming.Thanks
- Remember that respect is important, and that it's a two way street. It's important that you respect your spouse, and equally important that they respect you. If your spouse makes condescending statements regarding your faith, point that out and explain how their words make you feel. Likewise, they should be able to come to you without you getting angry.Thanks
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Warnings
- Religion is such a sensitive issue because what people believe in (or don't) feel as real and true to them as the fact that the sky is blue. The issue should be handled with care, by both sides.Thanks
- The two of you must be clear on your plans for your children. This must be planned way before you both conceive, as any last minute decisions for how your children will be raised (with or without religion) may end up as a huge problem for you both.Thanks
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References
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