How to Build Self Esteem in Your Blind or Visually Impaired Child

A child who is visually impaired has the same needs for positive self-esteem as any child. However, they may have more trouble building it as they learn that they have to do things a bit differently than other people. Nonetheless, you can help your child build positive self-esteem at home, as well as help them along the way when they go out in the world to daycare and school. Above all, you're their biggest cheerleader, so be sure to have your pompoms ready.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Helping Your Child Grow at Home

  1. For a child who's visually impaired, it's very important that they're treated like any other child and that they're included in family activities. With a seeing child, you can engage visually even when you're not necessarily talking to them. They're always watching you. With a visually impaired child, you need to be more proactive about engaging them. [1]
    • For instance, help them to gain body awareness by having them nearby while you're cooking dinner. As you go around the kitchen, talk with the child, play with their feet, give them kisses, and blow on their belly. Interacting with them helps the child to develop social awareness and the beginning of language skills.
    • Be sure to talk about what you are doing as you do it, just like you would with a child who does not have a visual impairment.
  2. You may want to protect a visually impaired child from the rough play of their siblings. However, letting their siblings treat them as a normal sibling helps the visually impaired child to build confidence. That is, their siblings will innately provide some protection, but they'll also encourage the child to come along with them, to play the same games and take the same "risks." Doing so helps them build confidence in who they are and what they can do. [2]
    • If you have any specific rules for playing with the visually impaired child, make sure to discuss these rules with their siblings so that everyone is on the same page.
    • Keep in mind that even if your child does have siblings, they may have more trouble figuring out how to play with toys that they can't see well or at all. They need to be taught how toys "function" to truly play with them. [3]
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  3. A child who is blind from birth doesn't see blindness as a negative thing unless they are taught to do so. Therefore, it's important to discuss it in ways that keep the conversation positive rather than negative. [4] When you focus on the negative aspects, it will teach your child that there's something wrong with them, hurting their self-esteem. [5]
    • For instance, when you start talking about using a cane to "see" while walking, focus on the opportunity. It's great that your child has this tool to learn about the world!
    • Do not allow your child’s siblings to talk to them in a negative or critical way. Correct them and defend your child to them if you hear this kind of talk. Also, make sure that you educate your children on your child’s condition.
    • Try not to point out what the child can't see. That is, instead of saying something like, "It's a shame you can't see the pretty kitty!" you could say, "Here, pet the kitty. Isn't it soft?" That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk about what you can see. You should! Talking about what you can see eventually teaches your child that how they interact with the world is different--not bad, just different. However, try not to point it out in a negative light.
  4. A blind or visually impaired child cannot automatically copy typical social gestures, such as waving goodbye. You need to intentionally teach these skills to your child. In addition, they cannot see that other kids aren't doing certain things that aren't socially acceptable, such as nose-picking and thumb-sucking, so you have to verbally discourage these behaviors. [6]
  5. While giving your child chores may not seem like a self-esteem building exercise, it actually does help. Being able to do jobs around the house helps your child feel accomplished, which in turn builds confidence and self-esteem. [7]
    • For instance, your child could put up dishes or go get the mail.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Helping Them Interact with the World

  1. Most children have to deal with insults from other kids, but children who are visually impaired are especially susceptible. The best approach is to let your child know that insults show more about the other kids than they do about the them. [8]
    • For instance, you could say, "Kids say mean things sometimes. Usually, it's because they're not feeling good about themselves. Try to ignore them next time."
    • Help your child recognize bullying. While a few insults here and there aren't great, they're not enough to rush off to the principal. Nonetheless, when it turns into bullying, it's important that your child tell an adult. Bullying is usually defined as sustained bad treatment of someone that makes them feel threatened or coerced, through insults or physical violence. If your child is feeling bullied, make sure they tell an adult.
    • Teach a visually impaired child to respond to awkward questions with calm answers. For instance, if someone says, "Can't you see this?" the child could say, "Well, not from that distance. If you let me have it for a minute, I'll be able to see it better." Alternatively, the child could say, "No, my eyes don't work very well. Would you mind reading it to me?"
    • Rehearse these answers with your child so that it will be easy for them to respond when they need to.
  2. When your child is getting frustrated, they may start to see themselves as a failure. However, at times like those, it's important to help them realize that they can do a lot of things just fine, even if they have to do things a bit differently. [9]
    • For instance, if your child says, "I can't do this. I suck at life," you could say, "You don't suck at life. You can do many things I can't do. For instance, you can play the piano way better than I can. Here, let's try this again. I'll help you, and then you can try it on your own again."
    • Encourage your child to try out lots of different activities that interest them so that they can find what they love and identify their natural talents. This will help to build their self-esteem.
  3. Sometimes, things will be more difficult for a visually impaired child. It can help them to have encouragement to work through the hard parts. Plus, once they learn something new, it will give them a sense of accomplishment, which in turn can help build self-esteem. [10]
    • Discuss perseverance with your child as a personality trait and explain that perseverance is what really matters, not natural ability or talent.
    • It can also help a child to know that everyone struggles with hard tasks. For example, if your child is having a hard time in math, you can let them know that many people have a hard time in math, and that they're not just struggling because they have a vision problem.
    • For example, you could say something like, "I noticed you're working really hard on your homework! I'm so proud of you for pushing through. Many people have a hard time with math, but you're doing your best to learn some tough material. Good job!"
  4. If your child isn't in a classroom with a teacher accustomed to having a visually impaired student, you may need to act as educator to the teacher, advocating for your child. For instance, remind the teacher that she can't use visual cues around your child, such as facial expressions to discourage behavior. In addition, using isolation (such as time-out in a quiet room) doesn't work well with visually impaired children, as it can make them a bit panicky not to be able to hear the teacher's voice. Helping your child integrate into school can help them develop positive self-esteem. [11]
    • Be sure to involve the school administrators as well to ensure that there is a plan in place to set your child up for success.
    • In addition, make sure the teacher remembers that they have to address your child by name when talking specifically to them.
    • It's helpful to encourage listening skills both at home and in the classroom. At home, cue your child in by saying things like, "We need to use our listening skills now." Ask the teacher to do the same.
  5. If your expectations for a visually impaired child are too low, they won't have anything to strive for. They do need challenges just like any other child. However, you also shouldn't set expectations too high. You may need to make adjustments or risk frustrating the child to the point that they shut down. [12]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Giving Encouragement

  1. In any child, but especially one who's visually impaired, focusing on what the child can do is essential to building self-esteem, as it helps them build confidence in their talents. [13] If you only focus on what the child can't do, it can tear them down. [14]
    • For example, maybe the child has a terrific singing voice. Complimenting this skill and encouraging it can help build confidence.
    • You could say, "You know, your voice is really good. Maybe you'd like to join a choir?"
    • In the classroom, think about how the child can contribute to the group. For instance, if the child can write, maybe they can be the writer for the group. Alternatively, maybe the child can help lead a small group by helping them decide what to do next. [15]
    • Make sure your child hears you praise them to other people, too. For instance, call a relative in earshot of the child, and tell them how well your child is doing in school. Be sure to help your child develop relationships with other adults who love them and will be supportive of them. Don’t be your child’s only source of support. [16]
  2. That is, they may have a disability, but others are challenged in other ways. Your child has something to offer the world, and they may have strengths where others have weaknesses. [17]
    • For instance, maybe your child has an exceptionally good ear for music, a trait not shared by most of your family. They'll be able to develop musical talents in ways that you might not be able to.
  3. Having a positive example can help children build self-esteem, which is why it's important for visually impaired kids to meet other kids, teens, and adults who are like them. When your child sees what others like them can do, it will help them have the confidence to strive for those goals themselves. [18]
    • From a young age, it can help to have play dates with other kids, both those who are like them and those who are not. Encouraging social interaction can help them overcome any social delays caused by being visually impaired.
  4. Another way to help your child build self-esteem is to find activities they enjoy. When they express interest in an activity, encourage that interest by taking them to a class or seeing if they want to join an after-school club. Once they find something they love and have a great interest in, it can help to build their self-confidence. [19]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.perkinselearning.org/videos/webcast/developing-social-skills-children-who-are-blind-or-visually-impaired#transcript
      2. ↑ https://www.perkinselearning.org/videos/webcast/developing-social-skills-children-who-are-blind-or-visually-impaired#transcript
      3. ↑ http://www.tsbvi.edu/curriculum-a-publications/3/1069-preschool-children-with-visual-impairments-by-virginia-bishop
      4. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
      5. ↑ https://nfb.org/images/nfb/publications/fr/fr15/issue2/f150205.html
      6. ↑ http://www.tsbvi.edu/curriculum-a-publications/3/1069-preschool-children-with-visual-impairments-by-virginia-bishop
      7. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/grade-schoolers/growth-and-development-grade-schoolers/building-self-esteem/1235
      8. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/grade-schoolers/growth-and-development-grade-schoolers/building-self-esteem/1235
      9. ↑ http://www.brainline.org/content/2009/05/who-me-self-esteem-for-people-with-disabilities.html
      1. ↑ http://www.specialeducationguide.com/pre-k-12/behavior-and-classroom-management/building-self-esteem-in-children-with-special-needs/
      2. ↑ http://www.tsbvi.edu/curriculum-a-publications/3/1069-preschool-children-with-visual-impairments-by-virginia-bishop
      3. ↑ https://www.perkinselearning.org/videos/webcast/developing-social-skills-children-who-are-blind-or-visually-impaired#transcript
      4. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
      5. ↑ http://www.specialeducationguide.com/pre-k-12/behavior-and-classroom-management/building-self-esteem-in-children-with-special-needs/
      6. ↑ https://www.perkinselearning.org/videos/webcast/developing-social-skills-children-who-are-blind-or-visually-impaired#transcript
      7. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.
      8. ↑ http://www.brainline.org/content/2009/05/who-me-self-esteem-for-people-with-disabilities.html
      9. ↑ http://www.familyconnect.org/info/browse-by-age/grade-schoolers/growth-and-development-grade-schoolers/building-self-esteem/1235
      10. ↑ Katie Styzek. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 28 October 2020.

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