How to Decorate a Grave Site

Last Updated: December 14, 2021 References

Remembering the passing of our loved ones is an important part of life. If you want to honor a loved one who has passed, you likely want to mark that person's grave site with something they loved. You can stick with something traditional, such as fresh-cut flowers, or go a little wilder with pieces of art or flowering bushes. Whatever route you chose, make sure to check with the cemetery before placing items on site, as different cemeteries have different rules.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Decorating a Grave Site

1
Pick the best floral option for the time of year. When fresh flowers are available, especially in the spring and summer, most cemeteries would prefer that you bring fresh flowers. However, if you want something else, consider a small flowering shrub, which will continue to bring beauty to the grave site for many years.
- If you want a flowering shrub or flowers, pick something small, native, and easy to maintain. Check with a local nursery to ask what would be best for your area. Also, ask about how often you need to prune the bush. For instance, in a very dry, hot area, you may want to consider a succulent or pretty blooming cactus.
- Some people use flowers such as chrysanthemums and geraniums because they don't take as much effort to maintain as other flowers.
For instance, in fall, you may want to place several small pumpkins on the grave site. Near Christmas, you may want to add poinsettias or a small wreath made of evergreens. In other words, you may want to decorate the grave site periodically, updating it by what's available for the current season or upcoming holiday. ^{[1]
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You can find a number of options for lighting that are solar powered. Many companies build lighting specifically for burial grounds, so consider one of those options first. However, you can also find inexpensive solar-powered lighting even at home improvement stores or garden stores. ^{[2]
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Even if your cemetery allows any type of decorations, most prefer non-breakable options. For instance, pick metal containers over glass or stone and plastic over ceramic. Broken containers can be unsightly and a hazard. ^{[3]
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US National Park Service
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You can use art to decorate your loved one's grave site. For instance, try small saint statues or painted stones. Just remember that anything you use should be weatherproof, including sun-proof; if art isn't made for outdoors, the colors will fade quickly.
One way to honor the deceased person is to decorate the grave with items related to his or her religion. For instance, you could use crosses for a person who was Christian. Alternatively, some Jewish people use small stones to decorate their graves. ^{[4]
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If your loved one had a favorite animal, think about a small stuffed animal. Alternatively, you can use a small animal made out of stone for a more permanent option.
If your loved one was a veteran, consider adding a small flag to the grave site. You could also use a small stone painted with a flag or the emblem of the branch the person was in.
Above all, give the person what he or she loved in life. From a favorite school to a favored sport's team, use the person's favorite things to guide your decorations. Just remember that you have to account for wind, weather, and sun; something like a football would blow away, so chose something else to represent it, such as a small weatherproof flag. ^{[5]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Knowing the Rules

Most cemeteries these days have websites with the grave site decorating rules listed; if the one you're visiting does not, you'll need to call the office or city in charge of the cemetery. Every cemetery has different rules for decorating grave sites, and you need to know what rules apply before you decorate. ^{[6]
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What you place on the grave site will often be limited to just the grave site, meaning you can't encroach on any graves next to the one you're decorating. Even if you have space around the site, most cemeteries will limit what you place to your site. ^{[7]
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Some cemeteries will not allow you to place flags on grave sites at any time. In turn, they may put out flags on certain holidays, such as Memorial Day. ^{[8]
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Pay attention to the rules about flowers and plants. Most cemeteries will allow fresh-cut flowers at any time. However, some limit the times that you can use silk flowers, such as not allowing them in the summer. ^{[9]
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US National Park Service
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Go to source} Others will allow potted plants, but only if you maintain them. Anytime flowers become faded or die out, the cemetery will likely remove them. ^{[10]
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- You may also be allowed to plant a small bush or flowers in the ground over the grave, but this practice varies from cemetery to cemetery. In general, you must maintain them yourself and make sure they stay within the grave site. If the plants die, they'll likely be removed. ^{[11]
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- Similarly, other cemeteries will allow wreaths at certain times of year, such as winter wreaths only during winter months. Often, to place a wreath, you'll be required to use a tripod. ^{[12]
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Some cemeteries allow you to place holiday-related decorations. However, you'll usually have to place them and remove them within a certain time frame. ^{[13]
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Some cemeteries do not allow any other type of decoration. ^{[14]
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Research source} Items such as food, statues, rocks, lights, stuffed animals, and so on may or may not be allowed, so check before you bring them. ^{[15]
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Some cemeteries have more restrictive rules on mausoleums than grave sites. In other cemeteries, the reverse is true. Make sure you check the rules for the correct type of grave. ^{[16]
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For instance, some sites do not allow you to attach anything to the headstone. Other places will not allow you to place permanent vases below the ground. ^{[17]
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The cemetery has the right to remove decorations at its discretion. In addition, it is possible that others may disrespect the site and remove the items. Don't put anything out that you may want back. ^{[18]
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My wife was just buried and I have been told it will take 5-6 months before a headstone can be placed due to settlement, but the grave is so bare and I really feel bad for her. Any suggestions on flowers? We are talking just bare earth at this time.

Community Answer

They sell vases that go into the ground with a stake, they don't require much effort to install. Maybe a couple of those with her picture taped to the side and fresh flowers? I was able to find the vases at the florist but I have also seen them at the floral section of the grocery store. If you laminate her pictures before attaching, it will hold up through inclement weather.

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Can I place a photo of a living person on a grave?

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Yes, you may place a photo on the grave of a living person.

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How do I install an angel on my mom's grave site so it won't get stolen?

Tom De Backer

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You can bolt it down really tight, but perhaps ask a professional to do it, as a DYI job might not be your cup of tea and damaging the site is disrespectful. You could also place it there, take some pictures and use those in the frames you put up in your house. At least that way in the pictures it will always be there, whether it's stolen or not. In the end, you may simply have to accept the risk that it gets stolen. If it does, file a report, replace it, move on. It's about your mom, not about the thieves.

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Be sure to secure anything that might blow away. You can use stakes or small spikes, for instance, to help secure items.

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How to Decorate a Grave Site

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Decorating a Grave Site

Knowing the Rules

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