How do I come out as bi?
I want to tell my parents that I'm bi but I'm highkey scared about how they'll react. How do I come out to them? It's been really stressing me out I wonder if I should just not saying anything until I move out :')
Parents show a wide range in terms of their ability and willingness to accept their kids' sexual orientation, so some will need a lot more time and education to help them adjust than others. It's always a good idea to plan a conversation for when your parents are in a fairly calm and receptive frame of mind and to let them know you have something important to share with them. Let them know that you're bisexual and tell them how you've come to learn that this is your authentic identity. Help them to see that you are taking a risk by having this conversation with them and that it's an act of trust.
If your parents have a negative reaction to your news, you may want to give them some space and get yourself some support from a friend or someone else who already knows and accepts your identity. Remember that their initial reaction is not their forever reaction, and that they may need space, time, and education to catch up and be more ready to embrace you for your full authentic self. However, sometimes you may be happily surprised at how welcoming your parents turn out to be right from the start. Good luck!
If your parents have a negative reaction to your news, you may want to give them some space and get yourself some support from a friend or someone else who already knows and accepts your identity. Remember that their initial reaction is not their forever reaction, and that they may need space, time, and education to catch up and be more ready to embrace you for your full authentic self. However, sometimes you may be happily surprised at how welcoming your parents turn out to be right from the start. Good luck!
Everyone experiences their coming out journey in a different way, and one important thing to realize is that coming out is not a one-time event, but a lifetime experience that an LBGTQ person repeatedly does in their lifetime due to our heteronormative world. You should examine some key factors when deciding to come out to your parents such as whether coming out potentially puts you at risk to be kicked out of your household. Are your parents very religious? What are the cultural nuances that may impact how your parents respond? Do you have adequate resources to support yourself in the likelihood your parents respond extremely negatively to you coming out?
I was scared to come out to my parents as bi too because they are a little more on the conservative side so I knew they weren't going to be super happy about it. But I hated hiding who I was and knew that if they really kicked me out of the house I had a supportive friend whose family would let me stay with them. I just told them that I had something to tell them and said I was bisexual, and that it didn't change anything about who I was as a person. My parents were upset and kind of blew me off but at least they didn't disown me or anything. For a while they just kinda swept me being bi under the rug and kept acting like I was straight, which was especially easy to do when I had a girlfriend (I'm a guy). It was annoying but better than being kicked out.
But eventually my girlfriend and I broke up and I got a boyfriend. At first I just sort of tried to keep him out of sight but eventually I decided to be brave and bring him around the house, and then my parents couldn't really ignore the fact that I was gay. They were kind of jerks at first, ignoring him or only referring to him as my 'friend." But we stuck it out. I kept having open conversations with them about how they were making me feel, and over time they came to accept me being bi and are even friendly with my boyfriend. It was a really long and hard process but I'm so much happier now. I can't guarantee that your parents will react and change the same way but I wish you the best of luck.
But eventually my girlfriend and I broke up and I got a boyfriend. At first I just sort of tried to keep him out of sight but eventually I decided to be brave and bring him around the house, and then my parents couldn't really ignore the fact that I was gay. They were kind of jerks at first, ignoring him or only referring to him as my 'friend." But we stuck it out. I kept having open conversations with them about how they were making me feel, and over time they came to accept me being bi and are even friendly with my boyfriend. It was a really long and hard process but I'm so much happier now. I can't guarantee that your parents will react and change the same way but I wish you the best of luck.
I feel like so many people still don't understand what it means to be bi, and i definitely experienced bi erasure when I first came out. I'd never dated anyone at that point and lots of my so-called friends said it was just a phase :/ so anyways then when I started dating a boy everyone took that as confirmation that I had actually been straight all along, but being in a straight relationship doesn't make me less bi!! I found that so frustrating, and then I didn't even feel welcome in queer spaces when with my boyfriend because we were a straight-passing couple (even though my bf at the time was also queer).
Then when I started dating my current girlfriend, everyone would just assume I'm a lesbian. I try not to let it bother me so much now, but these things were really hard when I was first coming out and trying to figure out my identity. on the bright side (i guess) is that I got to see a lot of people's true colors. it'll definitely hurt at first to lose people you thought would support you, but at the end of the day you'll be happier surrounded by people who love you for who you are :)
Then when I started dating my current girlfriend, everyone would just assume I'm a lesbian. I try not to let it bother me so much now, but these things were really hard when I was first coming out and trying to figure out my identity. on the bright side (i guess) is that I got to see a lot of people's true colors. it'll definitely hurt at first to lose people you thought would support you, but at the end of the day you'll be happier surrounded by people who love you for who you are :)
I don't know if this will be helpful to anyone but I wanted to share my experience as someone who was super lucky to have supportive family and friends when I came out as bi. My parents were happy for me and said they were happy that I felt safe enough with them to share who I was with them. They even put up a pride flag outside teh house and we went to pride as a family that year
The only problem is now they make jokes like "You can date both boys and girls and you're STILL single?" haha. I like to say I'm all "bi" myself :')
The only problem is now they make jokes like "You can date both boys and girls and you're STILL single?" haha. I like to say I'm all "bi" myself :')
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Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Come Out
If anyone gives you a hard time about your LGBTQ+ identity, remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Being LGBTQ+ isn't a choice but discriminating against someone for this is.
If you're nervous about mumbling or getting tongue-tied, try writing down what you want to say or practice coming out in the mirror (ensure you have privacy when you do so).
Seeing a supportive therapist could help you get through the coming out process or cope with a loved one’s negative response. Seeing one with your parents could help them gain a broader perspective.
Reader Tips from How to Tell Someone You Are Bisexual
Don’t let yourself be pressured into coming out.
If you’re not comfortable with labels, ask people not to use them.
After you come out to someone, give them some time to process it all!
Reader Tips from How to Come Out to Your Parents
Always have an external support system for yourself, a person or a group of people to whom you can turn for advice and comfort.
Have confidence in yourself that you can do this and that you will get through it.
There is no particular right or wrong way to come out to your parents. Do what feels most comfortable for you and your family.
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