How to Help an Autistic Child Cope with Having to Get Surgery

A child's surgery can be scary for both parents and children, and in the case of autistic children, this can be amplified even more so. New and unfamiliar routines and information can be overwhelming, and you might be fretting about the what-ifs. Your child may be scared of the pain, broken routine, lack of access to their favorite things or special interest, and more. However, surgery for an autistic child is not that different than surgery for a non-autistic child, and remember that when your child recovers, their health will have taken a step in the right direction.

Note: This article is not a substitute for a doctor's advice. If you have any concerns about your child or the medical procedure, please ask your doctor.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Preparing for Surgery

  1. As soon as you find out your child will need surgery, learn as much about the surgery as you can - to give you some peace of mind, and so that your child can be informed about what's going on. [1] [2] While finding out as much as possible is best, try to find out at least the basics, which includes:
    • When and where will the surgery take place?
    • What does the surgery affect? How invasive is it?
    • What's the typical recovery time?
    • Is it common for patients to be in pain after the surgery? If so, what is the best treatment option for the pain?
    • Will your child need to be temporarily admitted to the hospital?
    • What are the procedures for you and your child before, during, and after the surgery?
    • What are some things that you'll need to bring with you to the hospital (insurance information, emergency contact numbers, etc.)?
  2. No two children are alike, regardless of whether or not they're autistic, and you'll need to make sure that the doctor is aware of any potential medical afflictions that could cause complications with your child's surgery. Even if your child has no other health issues except for the one resulting in the surgery, you may need to tell the doctor about things like your child's contact lenses or any past surgeries or medical treatments. Oftentimes, you'll fill out a form detailing your child's medical history, but ask the doctor if there's anything else they need to know.
    • Mention any health issues or requirements to their doctor. For example, if your child is prone to seizures, has any allergies, or has a medical condition such as diabetes, the doctor will need to know.
    • Bring up pre- and post-surgery needs, too - for example, medications your child may need to take in the morning, or if their diet should change after the surgery.
    • If your child is on any existing medications and will need to go on a new one after the surgery, work with the doctor to find a medication that won't potentially conflict with your child's existing medications.
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  3. Autistic people may struggle with the change in environment or certain factors of the environment in the hospital, and the doctors and nurses want to help accommodate them and make them more comfortable. Ask about accommodations that your child could be given before and after their surgery, and during a hospital stay. A few examples of these accommodations are: [3] [4]
    • Can your child be sedated before administering an IV?
    • Is it possible to remove unnecessary equipment from the pre-operative room to prevent high anxiety?
    • Could the doctors and nurses remove laboratory coats before entering the child's room?
    • Would it be possible for very few people to come in at a time, to avoid scaring your child with the amount of doctors or nurses?
    • If your child can reliably communicate, can your child speak or use AAC instead of you communicating for them? If they use AAC, what kind of AAC can they use?
    • Could your child be in a post-operative room that does not have harsh, flickering, or buzzing lights? Can the lights in the room be dimmed, as an alternative?
    • Can the nurses make sure you're in the room when your child wakes up?
    • Could you and your child tour the hospital so that your child can be more familiar with the setting? [5] [6]
    • Discuss comfort objects with the doctor as well. For example, you could say something like, "My child needs to carry a stuffed fox to keep calm. Can we make sure that she has her fox when she falls asleep and wakes up?"
  4. Autistic people can have an unusual recovery time compared to neurotypical people, [7] [8] and even if your child recovers at the typical pace, they'll still need time to rest and recover. Do everything possible to avoid scheduling the surgery on a week that's busy for either you or your child, whether it's because of their school, your work, their therapy, or any outside activities that may potentially conflict with the surgery or the recovery period.
    • There are four types of surgery - major surgery (such as to correct issues caused by birth defects), minor surgery (such as correcting a bone fracture), elective surgery (when you schedule the surgery beforehand), and emergency surgery (such as for a potentially fatal heart defect). [9] Depending on the type of surgery, your scheduling options may be limited, or you may not be able to schedule it yourself.
    • If the child's surgery can't wait until there's a break from school, then you will need to discuss your child's surgery with their teacher and school attendance.
    • If you absolutely can't avoid scheduling their surgery when everyone is busy, then cancel any non-important events that you can, move your child's therapy appointments, arrange to pick up their schoolwork, and make sure that there's always an adult able to care for your child. Your child's recovery is more important than their speech therapy.
  5. Even if your child is nonverbal and never appears to be paying attention to you, they can still listen and understand what you're saying, and it's important that they know what's going on. While it's recommended to talk to toddlers and preschoolers early due to their limited concept of time, and to older children as soon as possible so that they have advance warning, consider your child's memory and skills at changing their routine when it comes to talking to them about the surgery.
    • Try using social stories, a picture schedule of what will happen at the hospital, or reading age-appropriate books with your child about surgery, and exposing your child to the sort of equipment they may see while at the hospital with toy medical kits. [10]
      • The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia has a slideshow for autistic children that explains what happens at the hospital.
    • Be careful about the language you use. Don't say things like, "The doctor will cut you open", "You'll be put to sleep", or other language that may be associated with a scary or sad event. Instead, say things like, "The doctor is going to fix your stomach so that it won't hurt any more", or "They'll help you sleep for a few hours. When you wake up, I'll be there with you". [11] Portray the hospital workers as kind and helpful people, not as people who will punish your child for misbehaving. [12]
    • If your child is a literal thinker, try to avoid using figurative language at all, to lessen the risk of confusion.
  6. Your child may be terrified of the upcoming surgery and regress to younger behaviors or start using harmful stims. Be patient and be there for them. Remember that it's normal for any child to regress to younger behavior when under stress, and that they need your support and care right now.
    • If your child is verbal or has access to complex AAC, encourage them to share their concerns with you. This can help you comfort your child about the things they feel worried about.
    • Validate their feelings and ensure they understand that they aren't getting surgery as a punishment. [13] Tell them that it's okay for them to cry and be scared. [14]
    • Encourage them to engage in therapeutic play, such as "playing hospital", before the surgery, to make the process more known and less scary. It will also help your child learn the routine of a hospital setting.
    • Many preschool shows such as Daniel Tiger have episodes where the protagonist has to undergo surgery. This could also help.
    • Don't lie to your child to relieve their fear - they'll figure out that you were lying. If they ask if something is going to hurt, say something such as, "Yes, it will hurt, but it will be over quickly". [15]
  7. It's often recommended to feed your child soft "safe foods" after surgery, even if the surgery wasn't oral or gastrointestinal, and they're going to need some help managing their pain. Before your child's surgery, make sure that you purchase foods and pain relief medications, pick up any prescriptions, and any medical supplies that they may need (such as ice packs or bandages). Check with your child's doctor to see if there are any necessities.
    • Your doctor may recommend getting over-the-counter drugs for your child's pain, such as Tylenol, or give you a prescription. Avoid aspirin-based OTC medications, and check with the doctor about whether ibuprofen is safe to use.
    • Go shopping with your child, if they can handle it, to help them pick out foods and drinks that they'd like.
    • Pick out clear liquids and smooth, bland foods for your child. Examples include non-textured ice cream, pudding, apple or white grape juice, soft noodles, soup broths, and applesauce.
    • Your child may be disappointed that they can't eat foods that they normally would eat, or that they have to eat only bland or smooth foods. Empathize with them and remind them that once they feel better, they'll be able to return to their typical diet.
  8. Your child will most likely need rest afterwards, so find things they can do. A child who is hyposensitive to pain will need activities to help them stay resting, while a hypersensitive child may be in a lot of pain and will benefit from distraction.
    • Stop by your local library for books and movies.
    • Video games may or may not be appropriate, especially if you have a big-screen TV where your child can lie down while playing games.
    • Consider buying your child a gift they can enjoy while relaxing, such as a new book about their special interest, or a relaxing video game. This will cheer them up.
  9. Hospital passports are a strategy used to help accommodate autistic children in the stress of a hospital environment. Write down your child's likes, dislikes, sensory sensitivities and cravings, communication methods and strategies, ways to help them adjust, and things that your child is interested in. [16] [17] This can help the doctors and nurses work with your child, and gives information to anybody who gets involved in the situation a bit later than anticipated.
    • Try making a few copies of the hospital passport, so that you can give them to nurses. You can also put one in your child's suitcase if they need to be admitted.
    • You may want to put other information, such as your child's medical history or emergency contact numbers, on the hospital passport.
  10. In the cases of some surgeries, your child may need to be admitted to the hospital while they recover to ensure that there are no complications. If your child will need to be admitted to the hospital, pack the bag with them, and tell them what you're packing. Pack them a bag that contains things such as: [18] [19] [20]
    • Clothes and/or pajamas
    • Shoes or slippers
    • Small travel-sized toiletries, such as shampoo
    • Toothbrush and toothpaste
    • Stim toys, preferably low-energy ones
    • Objects or activities that the child enjoys, such as books, stuffed animals, or movies
    • Preexisting medications - sometimes. Check with the hospital on whether to bring them.
    • Be careful with bringing electronic devices. Some hospitals don't allow things like cell phones and tablets, and they're easy to lose or break. However, if your child needs an electronic device to communicate, talk with the hospital staff to see if they'll make an exception.
    • Don't pack anything that you or your child would not want to get lost or broken, as things can get lost, damaged, or accidentally thrown away in the hospital.
  11. If your child has siblings, they'll need to be informed of the upcoming surgery and that your child will need to rest and recover. When discussing the surgery with the child's siblings, explain to them as much as they can understand, and encourage them to ask questions and express their emotions. Don't leave them in the dark about it, or they may become confused, scared, or betrayed - be upfront and honest.
    • Siblings in particular may be feeling a range of emotions about your child's surgery, and may express them in ways such as acting out, trying to get attention (whether by constantly pestering you or pretending that they're sick), not eating or sleeping as much, withdrawing from friends or family, or requiring more attention than they used to. [21] [22] These are signs that they are under stress, and should be addressed.
    • Your child's siblings may be worried about home life changing and them not being cared for as much. To combat these fears, set aside blocks of time for you to spend with your child's siblings, and keep the care routines as normal as possible. Offer extra encouragement and praise for them when they do good things. [23]
  12. Your child's surgery will undoubtedly be stressful for you, too, and it's important to get support from others. Seek out help from friends, your parents or siblings (if possible), and/or your partner. If necessary, talk to a mental health professional about your fears. Don't let your fear and stress eat away at you.
    • Remember, it's completely normal to be worried about your child during this time. You aren't being silly or having unjust fears.
    • If you have friends or family members who have also had a child who has undergone surgery, ask if they can give you some advice. While techniques for neurotypical children may not work for autistic children, there's some advice that is universal, such as the type of comfort objects your child should have, or how to ease your worries during the surgery.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

The Day of the Surgery

  1. In many cases, your child will not be able to eat or drink anything starting from midnight of the night of the surgery, so it's best to make them a meal that they'll eat a lot of. Make sure they drink enough, too. Encourage your child to eat as much as they'd like, and maybe give them a treat for dessert afterwards.
    • Some surgeries require that your child is on a specialized diet before the surgery. [24] If this is the case, then you're unfortunately not going to be able to follow this step, unless there's something in the restricted diet that your child especially enjoys.
    • If your child has poor impulse control, hide the food away and stay with them to make sure they don't try and sneak food. If your child eats or drinks before the surgery, the surgery will have to be postponed or rescheduled. [25] [26]
    • If your child needs to take medication in the mornings, discuss with the doctor whether or not they can take their medication on the morning of the surgery.
  2. This doesn't mean to put their clothes on for them if they don't need that kind of help, but to help them pick out clothing that is comfortable and won't get in the way. Choose clothing that is light, comfortable and can be easily slipped off, as they may have to change into a hospital gown.
    • If your child wears contacts, encourage them to wear their glasses instead.
    • Bring a jacket or sweater for your child. Hospitals are often cold. However, be careful with a sweater if you think your child will resist changing from their clothes to a hospital gown - it can be difficult to get them to take them off.
    • If your child has long hair, encourage them to leave it down. Buns and high ponytails can interfere with the ability to rest their head comfortably on the pillow. However, low-hanging hairstyles (such as side ponytails or braids) can help keep your child's hair out of their face and look great as well.
  3. Autistic children often stim to express emotions or keep calm in stressful environments, and it's not considered unusual for children to carry around a comfort blanket, toy, or object. Allow your child to pick out something that they can carry with them for comfort, and request that the doctors and nurses don't suddenly take it from your child.
    • It's best to take something big, rather than a small fidget toy, as these are less likely to be lost.
    • Focus more on your child's comfort than whether the toy looks age-appropriate. It's okay for anyone of any age to be carrying around a big stim toy or stuffed animal if it helps them keep calm.
  4. You will probably not be able to leave the hospital while your child is undergoing the surgery, so bring things that can keep you occupied during the waiting period. Hospitals sometimes have reading material in waiting rooms, but consider bringing things like:
    • Written games (crossword puzzles, Sudoku, etc.)
    • Electronic devices, if they're permitted, and any chargers for these devices
    • Work projects
    • Books or magazines
  5. When your child is being checked into the hospital for their surgery, make sure to mention any health problems that your child may have, and bring up their needed accommodations to the nurses working with them. It can be helpful to the nurses to remind them of your child's needs, which, in turn, helps your child.
    • Don't be afraid to bring up your child's autism. If your child will need extra support because of their autism, it's actually best to bring it up so that the nurses are aware and can give your child some extra support and accommodations.
    • If you're bringing up your child's autism, say "autistic" or "autism" rather than "Asperger's" or "PDD-NOS". It's entirely possible the nurses aren't familiar with diagnoses of anything other than autism.
    • Ask the nurses to avoid restraining your child under any circumstances to avoid panicking them.
  6. Since your child is under stress, it's quite possible that they may lose some of their abilities. Be extra patient with your child, and keep an eye out for things they might be struggling with.
    • If you suspect your child may lose their verbal ability, bring a form of AAC that they can use.
    • The stress may be especially overwhelming to your child if they get aggravated by sensory input, broken routines, or even just having not eaten for several hours.
    • Do everything possible to help your child avoid a meltdown or shutdown.
  7. During the pre-surgery preparations, you and your child may need to wait, which can result in your child becoming anxious. Stay with your child and keep them company, and do whatever they find calming, whether that means that you don't say anything as they play with a stim toy or that you talk with them until the doctor arrives.
    • Remind them that they will be okay, and that you'll be there when they wake up.
    • If your child is in pain, do what you can to distract them from the pain. That can be anything from distracting them with a TV show on the hospital TV, to offering deep pressure through a hug or rubbing their back or hand.
    • Help them redirect their stims if they begin using agitated and harmful stims.
  8. Many children are scared of needles and IVs, and it can be tough to get any child to cooperate with you when needles get involved. Distract them from the process by offering a stuffed animal, a stim toy or encouraging them to infodump while the IV is inserted. If your child is nonverbal, talk to them about a happy event or something that you know they really enjoy.
    • If your child is receiving anesthesia or sedatives through a mask, they may try to pull the mask off their face. Talk to them throughout the process and try to hold their hands (but don't restrain your child).
    • Never pin your child down - restraining your child will result in them becoming fearful or panicked and fighting you, and these practices have been proven to not be beneficial. [27]
    • All autistic children are different. A hyposensitive child may not even feel the IV going in, while a hypersensitive child may attempt to jerk away from the IV in fear.
  9. Many autistic children find comfort in having a familiar person nearby, and parents are often encouraged to stay with their children before the surgery process anyway. You don't need to talk to your child (though it's recommended, to calm them); just being in the room with them can be a big help.
    • You will not be allowed in the operating room, which may frighten your child if they're still awake. Tell them that you'll be there when they wake up.
  10. When your child wakes up after their surgery, they'll likely be confused and disoriented. Talk softly to them and make sure they know you're there. It can take some time for your child to wake up fully, so be patient with how long it may take.
    • Don't wake your child before they're ready, despite how much you might want to. They need rest, not only to heal faster, but to also allow administered pain medications to kick in. [28]
    • Some parents report their autistic child trying to pull the IV out of their arm. [29] While the nurses are trained to deal with children doing this sort of thing, you may want to stay near your child during the wake-up process.
  11. When your child comes home, they're going to need different care than is normal for them, and you aren't going to be able to remember it all off the top of your head. You may either get this information during or after your child's surgery, but be sure that you receive post-operative care information in a written form so that you aren't left scratching your head in confusion when your child needs later treatment.
    • Print-outs from the doctor detailing post-surgery care can be useful, if they're available.
    • Take notes on how to treat your child's wound, what activity they can and can't engage in, what they should and shouldn't eat, who to call if there's an issue, who the follow-up appointment will be with, and what symptoms are and aren't normal.
    • Write down the doctor's phone number in case you need to call them about your child's treatment.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

The Recovery Process

  1. Many surgeries no longer require your child to stay for an extended period of time at the hospital to recover; however, some do, or there may be potential complications or health problems that result in the need for a longer stay. It's quite possible this will distress you and your child, especially if an unexpected event has resulted in the need for admittance, but keep it in perspective and explain it to your child. Remember, the hospital workers are trying to help your child get better, not take them away from you.
    • Many hospitals will allow you to stay overnight with your child during their hospital stay. However, if that isn't the case, make sure they have comfort objects, enjoyable activities, and things that remind of them of home.
    • If you need to leave the hospital while your child is there, tell them where you are going, why, and when you should be back. [30] If you need to be gone for long periods of time, have another family member (such as your partner) stay with them.
    • Consider creating a schedule for your child if they need to be in the inpatient ward for more than a day, so that they have a routine.
  2. Your child may still be very tired from the anesthesia, but even if they aren't, it's important to make sure they rest to help the healing process. For the first few days, encourage them to rest as much as possible and to only get up to use the bathroom, and to let you know when they need something that requires getting up.
    • When your child wants to sleep, roll them onto their side. It's not uncommon for children to vomit after having been under anesthesia, [31] and if they're on their side, they're much less likely to choke if they vomit in their sleep.
    • Make sure your child is resting, even if they feel capable of performing normally. A hyposensitive child may try to go about their life as normal, which can potentially injure them or slow their healing.
    • It's common for children to sleep more than usual for a few days after surgery, or to be wobbly and unsteady at first. Constipation, gas, urinary retention, nausea, sore throats or jaws, and dizziness are also common. These symptoms should wear off within a few days. [32] [33]
  3. If your child is still stressed out and is unable to communicate reliably, or if their surgery affected their mouth or throat, they may not be able to speak. Autistic children who can normally use one form of AAC may also need to temporarily regress to a simpler form of AAC while they recover. Pick out a form of AAC that would work best for your child, since they'll need to be able to communicate with you during recovery.
    • A child of any age can try ringing a bell or pressing a button to call for you.
    • The Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS), or cards with request words (e.g. "drink", "toilet", "lonely", "hurt") written on them, can be useful for requests or even expressing basic emotions, but can't be used for conversation.
    • Communication boards can be used to express emotions and requests, but they can't be used for conversation. It can also be hard for a child to use them if the surgery or effects of anesthesia have affected their motor skills.
    • Complex AAC apps, writing, and typing can work for school-age children who have developed enough fine motor skills to use them.
  4. Early on in the recovery process, it's discouraged to give your child solid foods, but it's still important to keep your child hydrated. Make sure they have clear liquids easily accessible to them - such as water, apple juice, ginger ale, or Popsicles [34] - so that they stay hydrated. It may be a good idea to keep a sealed cup with a straw by your child's bed, so that there's less of a risk of your child accidentally knocking it over.
    • If your child isn't vomiting, then you can try giving them a light meal, such as soup or crackers. [35] Make sure that your child can tolerate the food's texture or flavor.
  5. Your child will probably not be able to do most things on their own, even if they're normally fairly independent. They may need round-the-clock care, or need to be checked on periodically. Make sure that your child is being cared for and checked on often enough, and that you're nearby so that they can call for you or otherwise get your attention.
    • If you need to leave the room for a short amount of time, get another person to watch over the child, or give them an object such as a bell to ring if they need you. Older children who have cell phones can be advised to text you.
    • Rotate caregivers. Maybe your spouse could watch over your child while you run out to the store or pharmacy, and your child's siblings could spend time playing board games with your child while you're making dinner.
    • Bring your child their box of stim toys if they need to stim.
  6. Your child may need to take medications, use ointments, have a hot or cold compress applied to the surgical site, have bandages changed, or otherwise need special care. Be sure to follow these instructions to help your child heal and prevent infection or illness.
    • Talk with the child while helping them with these procedures, so that they aren't caught by surprise and they understand what's going on. For example: "I'm going to put an ice pack on your neck now. It's going to be cold, but it will help your throat feel better and help you heal faster."
    • Don't restrain your child during these processes, even if they struggle. It will just result in your child becoming fearful of these times. Work with them to find a way to make it manageable for them. If your child really will not cooperate no matter what you try, however, contact their doctor and ask if there's an alternative way of treating your child.
  7. Figure out who is in charge of the child's medicine, and make sure that everything is administered as instructed and according to schedule. Even if your child is older and more responsible, someone should be with them when they are taking their medicine, to make sure they are doing it correctly.
    • Do not expect the child to keep track of their own medicine, even if they're normally able to. The exhaustion of surgery may make an otherwise-responsible child unable to reliably take medicine according to the doctor's orders.
    • Try keeping a checklist to track what has been taken already.
  8. If your child is curious about things, they may want to explore the surgery site and its stitches. While you shouldn't discourage your child's curiosity, make sure they understand that they shouldn't touch the stitches or prod at the area around it. Tell them that if it itches, they need to not scratch, as it can break the stitches. Encourage them to learn about surgery by showing them age-appropriate books or websites about surgery and stitches.
    • If their reason for touching the surgical site is because they are very fidgety, try giving them something else to fidget with.
    • If you suspect that your child will pick at or excessively touch their stitches, put soft pads or gauze over the stitches to prevent them from pulling the stitches out.
    • Be especially cautious if the surgery was in an area that might be frequently touched on a regular basis (e.g. their hand or mouth). Help your child with tasks that involve this area so that they don't accidentally injure themselves or reopen the wound.
    • Pick pajamas and clothes for your child that are less likely to potentially rub against the surgery area and cause discomfort, or snag on stitches.
  9. Especially if your child's surgery requires an extended period of resting, it may be easy for them to get bored or restless, or they may want a distraction from the pain. Offer them activities that require minimal energy, such as:
    • Watching TV or a movie
    • Reading books
    • Using a computer or tablet for games
    • Coloring in a coloring book, or drawing
    • Stimming with low-energy stim toys
    • Engaging in their special interest, such as researching or using low-energy toys
    • If your child is further along in the recovery process, it may be okay to give them some higher-energy activities or stim toys. However, don't allow them to engage in intensive activities, sports, roughhousing, or any other activity that may potentially injure your child. [36]
  10. Surgery can be very painful and stressful for an autistic child, so spend time with them and calm them down. If your child is struggling emotionally, it can help to have a loved one nearby.
    • Read to them.
    • Have conversations, if they are up for it.
    • Sit next to them while you do everyday things, like reading or fiddling with your phone.
    • Offer cuddles if your child likes them.
  11. Hypersensitive children in particular may be extremely sensitive to pain and struggle with pain management after surgery. If distraction isn't enough, then you may need to administer pain medication, whether it's over-the-counter or prescription medication. Pain medications often exist in both liquid and pill form; [37] choose what your child is capable of taking and tolerating, and follow the instructions on the prescription or on the post-surgery care instructions. Contact your child's doctor if your child is still in pain when the medication has kicked in.
    • Recognizing pain in autistic children can be difficult, especially if they're hyposensitive or nonverbal. However, if your child seems extremely subdued or shows less interest in their activities than normal, is crying, is "protecting" the pained area, is expressing pain or making noises that suggest pain, is grinding their teeth, or is unable to use a part of their body (e.g. unable to stand after their leg was operated on), they may be in pain and need medication. [38] [39] [40] [41]
    • Avoid giving your child ibuprofen or other NSAIDs unless their doctor says it's okay; these medications can cause stomachaches or diarrhea, and can cause potential health complications if your child has kidney issues, blood clotting or heart problems, or asthma. [42]
    • Check on your child's pain periodically. While some autistic children may have trouble using a plain 1-10 scale that's often used to describe pain, it may work to write down what the numbers would entail (for example, writing under 10, "I hurt so much that I can't focus on anything else"). It's best to give your child pain medication when the pain isn't extremely intense, since it can take longer for the medicine to take effect when the pain is extreme. [43]
  12. If your child's school isn't on break, they'll most likely need to get the classwork and homework assignments that are being assigned. You or another caretaker of the child can pick up their homework and bring it home, or a friend or sibling who attends the same school can talk to your child's teacher and drop off the homework. It's best to not let it pile up until your child returns to school, since it can be immensely stressful to your child to receive a large stack of papers on a single day.
    • Encourage your child to rest rather than do homework in the early days. Your child may be worrying about missing a lot of schoolwork, but after surgery, recovery is more important than schoolwork. It's often encouraged to prevent your child from doing heavy lifting (such as lifting backpacks or textbooks) after surgery, anyway.
    • Use the internet to your advantage. Some teachers will offer homework assignments, lessons, or the daily schedule online, especially in the later grades. Others may be willing to send photocopies of the assignments over email.
    • Depending on how long they are out of school, ask if they can record the day's lesson to review and catch up later.
  13. If your child has siblings, those siblings may get bored or frustrated more easily when your child is recovering from surgery, especially since your time has to be unequally divided between your children. To avoid your other children getting agitated or being unkind to your recovering child, involve them and have them help out and spend time with your child. Help them understand how your child is feeling and encourage them to play with and talk with your child to help them feel less lonely.
    • Older siblings may be able to help out with some mild care tasks, while younger siblings can help by playing games with your autistic child. Both age ranges can come and get you if your child needs something.
    • Don't overwhelm them with sibling time - just set up a block of time for your child's siblings to spend with them (e.g. half an hour every few hours) so that your autistic child doesn't feel lonely and that their siblings are more involved. Be prepared to cut the time short, too.
    • Younger siblings may pester your autistic child about the surgery and why they can't do what they can normally do, which can be a source of frustration for your autistic child. Make sure your younger children understand that they should talk to you about the more technical aspects of the surgery and recovery, and leave the personal questions (e.g. "What was the hospital like?") to your child.
  14. Your child may take some time before they feel they're ready for more than just liquids, and that's okay. However, when they're ready, try serving the soft foods you bought to your child to adjust them to eating more solid foods. Don't force your child to eat if they don't feel ready, though - just make sure they get enough fluid intake. [44]
    • Stay away from giving them food that has to be heavily chewed, food that's very spicy, or something that could otherwise interact with the surgical area and dislodge a blood clot.
    • Your child may reject foods that don't align with their sensory preferences, or refuse to eat things that they may eat when not under stress. Don't take it as a cause for alarm - it's normal for autistic children to refuse certain foods under stress, and eating enough is more important than eating well.
  15. It's normal for your child to be disoriented or slightly groggy after the surgery. Hypersensitive children may also report frequent and intense pain. However, most of these symptoms should wear off from a few days to a week after surgery; if your child is not showing any signs of improvement, speak with the doctor as soon as possible, as illness after surgery may indicate a serious problem. Contact the doctor immediately if you notice that your child has any of the following symptoms: [45] [46]
    • Fever or chills
    • Excessive bleeding (however, oozing blood on bandages is often normal)
    • Persistent vomiting, lasting for several days
    • Excessive swelling around the surgical site
    • Signs of infection - extreme pain to the touch (more than what's typical for your child), leaking pus or drainage, redness, hot to the touch, or a bad smell
    • Signs of a poor or allergic reaction to a medication
    • Difficulty breathing
    • Irregular heartbeat
    • Signs of shock - dizziness, confusion, loss of consciousness, clammy skin, severe sweating, low to no urine output, chest pain, anxiety or agitation, blueish lips or nails, and a rapid yet weak pulse [47]
  16. As your child recovers from surgery, they'll begin to feel more capable of taking on certain tasks, like working on their schoolwork or getting back into sports or clubs. However, they'll still need to rest, since their body isn't finished healing yet. Make sure that your child doesn't overwhelm themselves with work, and encourage them to do their activities slowly and cautiously, even if they feel like they don't need to go slowly.
    • Set up allotted time for your child to work on a given activity, such as working on their homework. When the time is up, encourage them to rest, or give them a low-energy activity to do, like watching their favorite movie.
    • Make sure they take breaks from daily activities, even if they feel like they don't need them. Returning to normal activities before the healing process has completed can be detrimental to your child's health.
  17. The recovery process can be frustrating, upsetting, or painful for any child, and your child may be moody, distraught, or irritable while they're recovering. You may be frustrated, too, whether because your child is irritable or because the recovery process is stressful. Remember, though, that your child can't magically make themselves get better and that taking out your frustration on them will upset them and make them feel guilty or like they're burdening you. Do your best to be patient with your child during the recovery process, without snapping at them or doing actions that would otherwise upset them.
    • Continue getting support from family and friends. You're allowed to be frustrated or upset, and you don't need to feel guilty about it; it just isn't the best idea to express that in front of your child. Talking to others gives you an outlet without potentially upsetting your child.
    • Remind your child when they're frustrated that they will get better, and that it's okay for them to be upset or annoyed at the recovery process. If they're verbal and lash out at you, don't take it personally - many people say things they don't mean when they're aggravated or upset.
    • It will be okay - your child will recover, even if it's not on the schedule that most people would expect, and they won't be in pain forever. Don't stress!
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      Tips

      • It's not uncommon for autistic children to have a different recovery time than non-autistic children, since autistic people manage pain and stress differently. [48] [49] However, you can always check with your doctor if you're concerned.
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      • If your child becomes sick before the surgery, contact their doctor and let them know. While not every illness will result in the surgery being canceled, ailments such as contagious illnesses or breathing problems may result in the surgery being delayed or rescheduled. [50]
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      • Some children bruise after receiving anesthesia; this is normal. [51]
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      Warnings

      • If you want to give your child balloons at the hospital, do not bring latex balloons. [54] [55] These can cause allergic reactions in some people. However, some hospitals permit mylar balloons; check with the staff to see what's allowed.
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      • Do not put off discussing your child's needs with the doctor or surgeon. They don't know you or your child, and techniques that would work fine on non-autistic children may severely distress an autistic child. Make sure they're aware of your child's autism and what your child needs as early as possible; this can help them accommodate your child's needs. [56]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=90&contentid=P03034
      2. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03031
      3. ↑ http://dbptraining.stanford.edu/5_Tutorial/readingdocs/asd_and_surgery_012914.pdf
      4. ↑ http://www.faaas.org/assets/strategies-can-help-calm-children-with-autism-undergoing-surgery.pdf
      5. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=90&contentid=P03034
      6. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03031
      7. ↑ https://www.hindawi.com/journals/crips/2015/930874/
      8. ↑ https://spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/unseen-agony-dismantling-autisms-house-of-pain/
      9. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=90&contentid=P03042
      1. ↑ http://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/doctor.aspx
      2. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/preparing-your-child-surgery
      3. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03031
      4. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/preparing-your-child-surgery
      5. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03031
      6. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=90&contentid=P03034
      7. ↑ http://www.autism.org.uk/about/health/doctor.aspx
      8. ↑ http://adc.bmj.com/content/101/12/1081.full.pdf
      9. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/day-before-surgery/what-to-pack
      10. ↑ http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/children/patients_family_resources/hospital_stay.html
      11. ↑ https://www.multicare.org/news/what-to-pack-child-overnight/
      12. ↑ http://www.choc.org/programs-services/surgery/preparing-siblings-for-surgery/
      13. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/preparing-siblings-brother-or-sisters-surgery
      14. ↑ http://www.choc.org/programs-services/surgery/preparing-siblings-for-surgery/
      15. ↑ http://www.choc.org/programs-services/surgery/preparing-for-surgery-information-for-caregivers/
      16. ↑ http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/HealthAZ/TestsAndTreatments/PainReliefSedationAnaesthesia/Pages/General-Anaesthesia.aspx
      17. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/day-before-surgery
      18. ↑ http://dbptraining.stanford.edu/5_Tutorial/readingdocs/asd_and_surgery_012914.pdf
      19. ↑ http://www.choc.org/programs-services/surgery/before-during-and-after-surgery/
      20. ↑ https://adiaryofamom.com/2011/11/22/waking-up-with-a-roar-sort-of/
      21. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03031
      22. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17291136
      23. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03019
      24. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/going-home-after-your-childs-surgery/what-expect-home
      25. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/going-home-after-your-childs-surgery/what-expect-home
      26. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/your-childs-recovery-after-surgery
      27. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/going-home-after-your-childs-surgery/what-expect-home
      28. ↑ http://www.choc.org/programs-services/surgery/pain-management/
      29. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/coping-with-pain/school-age-child
      30. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/coping-with-pain/preschooler
      31. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/coping-with-pain/toddler
      32. ↑ http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/HealthAZ/TestsAndTreatments/PainReliefSedationAnaesthesia/Pages/Pain-After-an-Operation-Taking-Care-of-Your-Childs-Pain-at-Home.aspx
      33. ↑ http://www.gosh.nhs.uk/medical-information-0/procedures-and-treatments/pain-relief-your-child-after-surgery
      34. ↑ http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/HealthAZ/TestsAndTreatments/PainReliefSedationAnaesthesia/Pages/Pain-After-an-Operation-Taking-Care-of-Your-Childs-Pain-at-Home.aspx
      35. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/your-childs-recovery-after-surgery
      36. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=90&ContentID=P03019
      37. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/007645.htm
      38. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000039.htm
      39. ↑ https://www.hindawi.com/journals/crips/2015/930874/
      40. ↑ https://spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/unseen-agony-dismantling-autisms-house-of-pain/
      41. ↑ https://www.verywell.com/what-should-you-do-if-you-are-sick-before-surgery-3156991
      42. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/your-childs-recovery-after-surgery
      43. ↑ http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/En/HealthAZ/TestsAndTreatments/PainReliefSedationAnaesthesia/Pages/General-Anaesthesia.aspx
      44. ↑ http://www.chop.edu/patients-and-visitors/guide-your-childs-surgery/your-childs-recovery-after-surgery
      45. ↑ http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/children/patients_family_resources/hospital_stay.html
      46. ↑ http://www.choc.org/programs-services/surgery/preparing-for-surgery-information-for-caregivers/
      47. ↑ http://www.faaas.org/assets/strategies-can-help-calm-children-with-autism-undergoing-surgery.pdf

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