Q&A for How to Ask Your Mom for a Bra

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  • Question
    What can I do if my mother says I can't get a bra until I'm in secondary school, but I'm afraid that my nipples show through my clothes?
    Community Answer
    Tell her how you feel about this. If you've already done that and she still won't let you get a bra, see if you can compromise by getting a few thick tank tops to wear under your shirts. Some of them even have built-in bras for this purpose.
  • Question
    What does a bra feel like?
    Community Answer
    It depends on the type of bra being worn. A sports bra feels more comfortable, because the straps don't need to be adjusted and there are no wires.
  • Question
    What if I am only 9 but my buds are poking out and I feel uncomfortable without one, should I still ask?
    Community Answer
    Of course! There is no "right" age to get a bra. If you feel uncomfortable, it's time to get a bra.
  • Question
    How can I prevent my siblings from embarrassing me when I ask my mom?
    Community Answer
    Find a private time to talk with your mom when no siblings are around.
  • Question
    Do I need a bra if my nipples are showing through my shirt?
    Community Answer
    Yes, because that can be embarrassing and you might attract unwanted attention. Talk to your mom about it.
  • Question
    I feel like I have been asking her often. Should I continue to pester her?
    Community Answer
    It is not recommended that you do that, because it will only decrease your chances of getting a bra. Instead, try and give her valid reasons why you need a bra, such as for sports, or just for everyday comfort.
  • Question
    What if I'm embarrassed to ask for a bra? How would I ask her not to tell all of my family because it makes me feel awkward?
    Community Answer
    It's perfectly normal to feel embarrassed about it. Just tell her and get it over with. If you want, you could even leave her a note or send a text so you don't have to say it out loud. And just say something like, "Can we keep this between us? I don't want everybody to know about it."
  • Question
    My boobs aren't really that big, I'm a 27B. Should I still ask?
    Community Answer
    When your breasts are larger than a size AA, that would probably be the best time to ask.
  • Question
    What should I do if I'm not even 10 years old yet, but I still think I need a training bra?
    Community Answer
    I had to have my first training bra at age 8, so it's fine to get one a little early. Just ask her, and if she says no, wait a while and ask again.
  • Question
    How can I not be nervous when asking my mom for a bra?
    Community Answer
    Your mom went through puberty, also, so she will understand.
  • Question
    I wear training bras and I think I'm ready for pads. How do I tell my mom?
    Community Answer
    Since you’re already wearing training bras this probably won’t be a big adjustment. Maybe you need more support, or your nipples are showing, which makes you feel uncomfortable, or you want to be able to wear strappy dresses/tops that don't work with the thick bands on your training bras. Just tell her this, and I’m sure she’ll understand. Maybe you can go bra shopping together, so that you can find bras that you both feel okay with.
  • Question
    I am a size 26B and I'm only 13. I already wear training bras. My sister (16) and mum are both really flat chested (AA/A). My sister didn't get her bra until she was 14 1/2. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Ask your mum if you can get a real bra. If she says you don't need one, remind her that you are your own person and that you feel that it's time. If you want to, you can even tell her that just because your sister didn't need a bra until she was 16, that doesn't mean you don't. You are your own person.
  • Question
    If I'm 12 and I don't have a proper bra yet, am I still normal?
    Community Answer
    Yes. Everyone develops at a different rate. If you're 12 and you don't need a bra yet, that's fine. If you feel like you do need a bra, talk to your mom about it.
  • Question
    How do I ask my mom for a bra if there's always people around?
    Community Answer
    Tell that you need to have a private discussion with her and try to schedule a specific time to do it. If this is impossible for some reason, write her a note and leave it in her purse or somewhere you know she'll see it.
  • Question
    What should I do if my mom doesn't know why girls wear bras?
    Community Answer
    If your mom doesn't like wearing bras, just remind her that everybody's different, and some girls/women feel more comfortable in a bra. Remind her that you are your own person and you should get to make this decision for yourself.
  • Question
    How can I avoid embarrassment when discussing this topic?
    Community Answer
    Text your mom or write a note where only she will find it. It's perfectly normal to be embarrassed about asking for a bra.
  • Question
    Should an 8-year-old with big breasts get a bra?
    Community Answer
    If you are uncomfortable and find they get in the way, definitely. Don’t be ashamed of maturing early. Everyone is different.
  • Question
    How do I ask my mom for a bra if she doesn't care or pay attention to me?
    Community Answer
    That is called child neglect, and child neglect isn't okay. Tell a trusted adult, such as another family member, a teacher, etc. Also, try to ask another female family member to take you bra shopping.
  • Question
    Are sport bras the same as bralettes?
    Community Answer
    No; sport bras provide support for sports, and bralettes are for show.
  • Question
    What can I do if my mom won't get me a bra, and the kids at school are teasing me because they can see my nipples through my shirts?
    Community Answer
    Your classmates are harassing you. Explain this to your mum or another responsible adult you trust, like a teacher, grandma, aunt or sister.
  • Question
    I've been wearing small vests with no padding, and now I feel the breast bumps coming in. Is it time to ask for a bra?
    Community Answer
    If you feel like your breasts/nipples are starting to poke through your shirt, or if you feel uncomfortable at all, then yes, it's time to ask for a bra.
  • Question
    Is it normal to just wear sports bras instead of asking my mom for a normal bra?
    Community Answer
    If you feel more comfortable in a sports bra, that's fine. Plenty of adult women wear sports bras all the time instead of "normal" bras. It's totally up to you.
  • Question
    At what age do girls get breasts?
    Community Answer
    It's different for everyone, but breasts normally start forming somewhere around ages 8-14.
  • Question
    What do I do if I need a bra but my mother told me to wait?
    Community Answer
    Just wait a few weeks and bring it up again, or ask another family member to help you talk to her. If you have a birthday coming up, you could also try asking for a bra as a gift.
  • Question
    Can I get a proper bra if I am still a preteen?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it just depends on your breast growth. Talk to your mom and tell her what you want and why, most likely she will be understanding.
  • Question
    What do I do if I feel ready for a bra but my mother doesn't agree?
    Community Answer
    Just calmly inform her of the reasons you feel you need a bra, and if she still doesn't agree, you will just have to wait a little while until she thinks you're ready.
  • Question
    Can I ask my mom for just a sports bra?
    Community Answer
    If you play sports, tell your mom that you would feel more comfortable wearing a sports bra while playing. Or you could ask for a training bra for everyday use to be comfortable, and just say that you are developing and you would feel more secure with a bra. There are really no rules about what kind of bra you should wear, choose whatever you prefer.
  • Question
    How do I ask my dad for a bra comfortably?
    Community Answer
    Bring it up casually and get straight to the point. Say something like, "Dad, can we go shopping? I need to get a bra." He probably won't want to have a whole conversation about it anyway.
  • Question
    How can I convince my mom to get me a bra when my brother says he can see my nipples through my shirt?
    Community Answer
    Just tell your mom what happened. If you're embarrassed or you don't want to get your brother in trouble, say that a boy at school said it. If your mom refuses to get you a bra, see if you can compromise with a tank-top with a built-in bra, or ask another female relative to help you.
  • Question
    Why am I scared of asking my mom for a bra?
    Community Answer
    You’re probably scared because it’s a little bit embarrassing to talk about your changing body, even though it really shouldn't be. Just explain why you want to get a bra, and remember that your mom probably went through the same thing herself when she was your age.
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