Q&A for How to Avoid People

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  • Question
    How do you avoid someone without hurting their feelings?
    Jessica George, MA, CHt
    Certified Professional Master Life Coach
    Jessica George is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Professional Master Life Coach, and Co-Founder of Evolve Therapy Coaching based in Glendale, California. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in hybrid therapy and coaching services, couples counseling, and clinical hypnotherapy. Jessica holds a Bachelor’s degree from The University of California, Santa Barbara and an MA in Counseling Psychology and Talk Therapy from Ryokan College. Jessica is trained in the Imago technique and the Gottman method for couples therapy. She also earned a Professional Life-Coach Certification from The Fowler Academy and an Infinite Possibilities Relationship Certification. She is a member of the International Board of Coaches and Practitioners (IBCP).
    Certified Professional Master Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    If you are avoiding them, it might be because your own feelings are out of line. Can you try to repair things with this person to make your relationship more comfortable? If not, don't avoid them—be kind, but don't stick around. If you are at a party, acknowledge their presence and then find a polite way to leave the conversation.
  • Question
    How do I avoid someone trying to kill me?
    Community Answer
    If you are certain this person is trying to inflict harm upon you, then you should try reporting this to the local authorities. Do not confront this person, you could put yourself in a dangerous situation. Seek help immediately.
  • Question
    I try to avoid her greeting, but she continues greeting me, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Never say a word, give an insincere smile when she greets you, and walk away as soon as you can. Do it multiple times and after a while, stop the smiling. She'll get the message.
  • Question
    How can I avoid awkward and uncomfortable conversations with people who come over that I don't really know? I'm expected to greet them for my mum.
    Community Answer
    Just smile and say hello. Make polite conversation for a moment; you can ask them about the weather, how their family is doing, or anything else that comes to mind. You can then politely excuse yourself and tell your mum that her guest has arrived.
  • Question
    How do I avoid thinking about a certain person?
    Community Answer
    The only thing to do is distract yourself with fun activities. Watch a movie, read a book, or paint a picture. Even if it's only temporary, doing something to distract yourself can take your mind off someone for awhile.
  • Question
    Will I avoid trouble if I avoid that person?
    Community Answer
    Not necessarily. Trouble can come in many forms. You will just be avoiding that individual person's trouble.
  • Question
    How do I avoid people in my family?
    Community Answer
    You could lock yourself in your room, go outside or just go to a different part of the house.
  • Question
    What should I do of the person is too close to me and I want to avoid him?
    Community Answer
    Change your routine, don't answer the phone and just tell him you need some time away.
  • Question
    I ride my bike home from school and this kid waits for me every day. He's super annoying. I try to wait him out. I try to change routes, and the crossing guards apparently won't let me go that way. Is there anything at all that can be done?
    Community Answer
    Ask someone, an adult that you trust, for help. If you don't like him, you can tell him to please stop.
  • Question
    How do I get left alone after arguing with my best friend?
    Community Answer
    If you're at your house, lock your bedroom door. If that doesn't work, go somewhere or maybe take a walk.
  • Question
    How can I stay away from the people that keep hurting me and protect myself from them?
    Community Answer
    When they hurt you, go find help immediately. If there is a big group hurting you, don't try to fend them off on your own because you could get hurt even more. Ask for help from people you know and trust. If you have to encounter these people, bring someone with you so you're not alone.
  • Question
    How can I avoid a person whom I am very close to?
    Community Answer
    Tell them to back off a bit and explain why. If they seem to get upset, just tell them you can hang out some time, but for this period of time, you just want to be alone.
  • Question
    What should I do if I live with the person that is constantly bothering me?
    Community Answer
    This is one of those situations in which avoidance isn't necessarily the best solution. You should start by talking to the person who is bothering you. If discussing the issue doesn't help very much, you might consider moving out or having the other person move out.
  • Question
    What if we are mentally depressed?
    Community Answer
    See How to Deal with Depression . If you're asking about avoiding people, the way to do so is the same regardless of your mental state. However, withdrawing from people is generally not helpful for depression. Do avoid any toxic people who weigh you down, but try to maintain your relationships with people you care about and trust.
  • Question
    How can I avoid someone that is in all of my classes and sits next to me in 3 of them?
    Community Answer
    Why do you want to avoid that person? If you have a valid reason, then tell the teacher you want to sit elsewhere (if there is a seating plan). If the teacher refuses, see the guidance counselor.
  • Question
    How do I avoid my ex best friend? She is in my class, my football club, and lives two blocks away from my place.
    Community Answer
    When you see her, just pretend like she's someone you don't know. Walk by her and don't say anything. It will feel awkward at first, but you will get used to it.
  • Question
    How do I avoid someone who waits for me?
    Community Answer
    If they wait for you in a specific spot, change routes. Or, you could just quickly walk past them, ignoring them if they try to talk to you. Lastly, tell them to not wait for you and why not to. Remember to keep this short and simple.
  • Question
    What if someone insults me a lot and I want him to feel sorry?
    Community Answer
    Tell that person how you feel on a daily basis when you're insulted and how it affects you. If that doesn't work, talk to your counselor, a parent, or teacher about that.
  • Question
    How do I avoid a certain person who wants to harm me in school?
    Community Answer
    Don't interact with them, don't even make eye contact. Try to stay in a group of friends so you have back-up if necessary. If you're really worried about your safety, tell an adult about this.
  • Question
    How do I avoid someone who is in the same classes as me?
    Community Answer
    Spend the breaks away from them, arrive at the last minute to classes and leave first. Put on headphones and read a book. Don't look at them, and don't talk to them. Pretend they don't even exist.
  • Question
    So about how to stay away from people, what if the person is myself?
    Community Answer
    You can't really run from your own mind. You should feel your feelings, and if you do that, it can sometimes make you feel a bit better. Sometimes listening to sad music is nice when you're sad. You can also find refuge in friends.
  • Question
    What if they go to my school?
    Community Answer
    Just ignore them. If you know where their classes are, walk to your classes in a different direction than they walk to theirs. It shouldn't be too hard unless that person is actively seeking you.
  • Question
    How do I stay away from people who are going to my house, when there are only two rooms?
    Community Answer
    Make other plans to go other places, invite someone over to be a social buffer (just make sure they are ok with being a buffer), engage in some kind of project that requires attention and/or quiet (such as schoolwork or something for your job/career), go for a walk, a drive, or a bike ride, take a nap or pretend to take a nap (just have a good excuse for being tired), go shopping (I recommend grocery shopping or going to get something you need, so you have a better reason to go), give a friend a ride somewhere, go get something you "forgot" at work/school/friend's house, where noise canceling headphones or "noise canceling" headphones, do yard work (if you live in the right area), etc.
  • Question
    How do I avoid my brother who lives in the same house as I do? Whenever he sees me he makes fun of me, but yells at me and makes a big deal when I make fun of him back.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    It may not be possible to avoid your brother. I am someone's brother myself, and I sometimes don't understand how my sister managed not to kill me! But she did sit me down to talk to me quite sternly a number of times, so even though it's perhaps from the other perspective, my advice to you would be to talk to your brother to get him to cut it out.
  • Question
    How do I avoid someone online?
    Community Answer
    Block or unfollow the person. Use the instructions for the social media site or platform you're using.
  • Question
    How do I avoid someone who is close to me?
    Community Answer
    Just tell them you don't want to be as close anymore, and when they talk to you give short, boring answers. They will probably stop talking to you and move on.
  • Question
    How do I avoid a group of people and make them not recognise me?
    Community Answer
    There's not much you can do to make them not recognize you, but you can stay out of their way and if they talk to you just give a short, boring answer.
  • Question
    Everyone betrays me and leaves me alone.l Life has always been cruel to me. How should I avoid everyone?
    Community Answer
    It's hard to do this. If you don't want any friends at all, the best thing to do is to attend an online school or get home schooled. This way you probably don't have to interact with many people except your teacher(s). Talk to your parents about socializing bothering you and ask them about attending home school. If you can't do that, just don't talk to people. If they talk to you, give them a short, boring answer, they'll probably get bored and leave. However, also question your generalization about "everyone"––it suggests you might need to meet far more people so you can realize that only some people are nasty and that most people are supportive, caring and interested in the well-being of others.
  • Question
    What do I do when my best friends want to talk to me and I feel bad and I can't trust myself to be isolated?
    Community Answer
    If you feel like you're offending them by ignoring them, then the best thing to do is to explain to them why you you are doing it. If you don't like the idea of conversations, just write a letter or send them a text. But remember that your friends are there for you and unless you have a serious reason not to, you should try and be there for them.
  • Question
    There are these kids who go to the same park as I do and they are kinda annoying. But I can't do to a different park becuse the closest is 5 blocks away and I bring my siblings who are young.
    Shay Smith
    Community Answer
    Let them know that they are bothering you. Let their parents know too. Stop going to the same parks. Go to other parks that are maybe not in your area.
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