Q&A for How to Be a Good Husband and Father

Being available to your children is important. Even if you are busy, take out some time if your kids ask to talk. Don't brush them off. Don't assume that work is always more important. And follow up on things that you have talked about before.

A good husband listens to his spouse—their feelings, worries, and day-to-day concerns. Thoughtfulness is also very important. For no reason, send your spouse a card or bring them a single flower. And most importantly, tell them that you love them at least once daily.

You can be a strong husband and father by listening to your loved ones and hearing them out. Try not to shut them out or control them. Remember it is not your job to 'solve' their problems, just to be loving and supportive.

Know that every child wants to have a healthy and strong connection with their parents. Be your best self and find ways to model positive, happy, disciplined behaviors and ways of thinking to your child. Listen to your child and seek to understand them in whatever capacity they show up. They are a part of you, and you can work on your relationship with them in the same ways you would work on your relationship with yourself—by learning, empathizing, teaching, and growing.

Make sure you treat them both equally, showing both the same amount of love and affection. Spend quality one-on-one time with your son, so he sometimes has your undivided attention. Oh, and TELL him that you love him. Tell him often.

Keep contact. Maintain interest. Make them feel like they are on your mind constantly. Write them a letter, so it can be read to them if they are still small. If they are older, they can read it for themselves. I used to write for years with my grandfather. He wasn't there physically, but I felt like he was there for me always.

Remember and cherish every stage in your relationship. He's not three anymore, and never will be three again. That stage is over. But don't worry, there are lots and lots of stages still to come. Though they're not all this idyllic. No matter what his age, the sphere of your son's influence within which he rebels and kicks around must always be smaller than yours. You'll need to do a lot of growing, just like any other dad. Finally, most likely his not listening and talking back has much less to do with his parents splitting up than with his own growing up. I.e. it's nobody's fault, certainly not solely your wife's.

The same way as anyone else. Follow the guidelines in the article. If you don't have a lot of time to spend with your children right now, that's okay, just make the time you do spend with them count, and ensure that their needs (food, health, education, etc.) are taken care of.

Toddlers are notorious for their meltdowns and temper tantrums. Your son may be expressing his frustration with some skill he's struggling to master or your efforts to direct and discipline him.

You need to talk to her and have a serious discussion about the state of the relationship. Tell her exactly what you need and expect. If you two don't come to a compromise, consider marriage counseling.

A good way is to provide stability and certainty. Use daily, weekly and monthly routines, which will give them a sense of security and allow them to have a safe place that they can count on. From there they can heal their wounds, discover the world and grow up as happy children. In time, they will open up. Don't force it, be patient, kind and gentle, and always apply the same rules.

Learn what makes your partner and child(ren) feel loved. Everyone's love language is different: for instance, your wife might feel the most loved when you help her with household responsibilities or when you spend quality time with her. Find out which unique gestures make her feel the most loved and offer them as frequently as you can. Do the same with your children.

While you try to provide a good life, they might be thinking, "Where is my parent?" (Mom or Dad) They don't care for a good life because they can't see the worth of it yet. All the want is your undivided attention, otherwise they will turn against you in a negative way. They have now sought the way of negative attention because they might feel they won't get anything from you when they march in line.

Treat it like a negotiation. If she wants the house painted in three weeks, let her know if that timeframe is doable for you. If not, show her why, which other things are on your plate. Propose a new timeframe and come to an agreement. The key is to stick to it though. Expect to be respected, but plan responsibly. If you can't take out the trash because you've planned downtime with beer and the TV, well, perhaps take out the trash first. Downtime is an important part, but doing the small stuff first is positive fuel for your engines. Talk to her, come to an agreement, stick to it.

If these are mere annoyances and not behaviors that really need to be corrected, your best bet is to remove yourself from the situation, take some deep breaths, and consider how you'd like to respond (if at all) so that you won't have regret after the fact.

The best thing for you to do is set up a good time management schedule for all your obligations and ambitions. List what you have to do in order to take care of the mother and child, financially, of course, but most importantly emotionally, physically and in a practical sense. However, you must plan your time to include university as well. A baby requires practical care now, a university degree allows for your own education and development, providing a huge cornerstone for your and your child's future security. You have to find a way to manage both.

Sit down with her and start going through a marriage-building book, such as Five Love Languages. Have family meetings every week to evaluate what went well and what could be improved, and encourage your family members whenever a goal of theirs is accomplished. Help out whenever you can with their projects, and be open to suggestions. If you have kids, set boundaries on electronics so that they can spend more time doing something else, such as family quality time.

Make sure she is comfortable and well rested, and lighten her load (i.e. load the dishwasher if you're not the best at washing dishes, sweep or mop, clean the bathroom, etc.). Pregnant women suffer the most during the summer or when it's extremely hot, so make sure she's cool when it's hot and warm when it's chilly.