Q&A for How to Confess

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  • Question
    How can I stop being scared of confessing?
    Nicole Barile, PhD, NTP
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Nutritional Therapist
    Dr. Nicole Lippman-Barile is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (NTP) who practices in New York. As a psychologist, she specializes in treating anxiety and mood disorders, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and related compulsive disorders. As a nutritional therapist, Dr. Lippman-Barile specializes in treating blood sugar dysregulation, digestive health, and mood disorders related to food. She holds a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Hofstra University and a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner Certification from the Nutritional Therapy Association.
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Nutritional Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Confessing a mistake is difficult and scary, and a lot of times people want to avoid these feelings. The only way to get better at it is to practice. You will realize that the feeling of confession will free you of the burden you carry on your shoulders.
  • Question
    I've done some cyberbullying, but I only did it because I was depressed about a lot of things and I needed to take it out on someone. The police are even investigating. How can I tell my teacher?
    Community Answer
    Be honest. Think about the effect your bullying had on your victim/s and then talk to your teacher, admitting to everything you did. Make it clear that you understand how serious this is and the impact it might have had on the people you hurt. Explain about your depression, but tell them you are not trying to excuse your actions, just providing a full picture of the circumstances. Accept any consequences. If you really can't face doing this in person, write a letter to your teacher. Offer to apologize to your victim/s.
  • Question
    My boyfriend has forgiven me for all sorts of mistakes. How can I tell him about something that I've done that may really upset him?
    Community Answer
    Your boyfriend is being loyal and understanding, that is good. Don't hesitate to tell him. Go somewhere private with him and tell him what happened. Apologize wholeheartedly; let him know you never meant any harm. Good luck!
  • Question
    Any way to make the confession short and snappy so I don't get in too much trouble?
    Community Answer
    Just be honest and spit it out, then ask for forgiveness.
  • Question
    My phone just broke, and my parents have been getting along and being happy lately, which is unusual. I don't want to ruin it for them, so what do I do?
    Community Answer
    Sit them down and talk to them. Say, "Mom, dad I wanted to tell you that my phone broke when [say what happened] and I'm really sorry. I'm not asking for a replacement or anything, I just wanted to tell you because I want to be open with you guys. I didn't tell you before because you guys have been in such good moods lately and I didn't want to upset you." If there is a punishment, just accept it, don't try to make excuses for yourself.
  • Question
    I have made the same horrible bad choice over and over again. My parents are refusing to do anything for me unless I confess what I did to my coach, who is highly respected. How can I say what I did?
    Rose
    Community Answer
    First, pray to God about it. Ask Him to help you do the right thing. Reading the Bible can help too. You can ask for help from Christian mentors. Do what you feel God wants you to do. It may be hard, but God can help you if you ask Him.
  • Question
    I stole money from my parents, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Jesus and your parents will always love you and forgive you no matter what. Confess to the Lord and ask for forgiveness, then confess to your parents and ask them for forgiveness as well.
  • Question
    I cheated on a test, and feel really guilty. I keep telling myself not to do it but I worry so much about my grades getting affected. Is this a mistake? (I'm trying my best not to do it anymore.)
    Community Answer
    It is good that you are trying to stop cheating. One way to get better grades is to study. There are other things one might want to do instead of studying, but you must try to put up with it. Focus on your work, try not to get distracted, and if you don't understand what you're learning, don't be afraid to ask questions. If this requires memory, each day work on memorizing information. It is best not to cram the day/night before, as it will put you under pressure and make you more likely to give in to temptation and cheat.
  • Question
    My husband's friends told him that I slept with his best friend 4 years ago. I have tried to explain to him that this is not true, but it's not working. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    If you haven't done anything wrong, you don't have to feel guilty. You may need to consider your husband's feelings, because hearing about such a thing can be very painful, and if he has seen you being friendly with that man, then he may have a hard time believing you. If you are together, then you can devote your time and energy to doing things as usual. If he is too suspicious, you may want to confront his friends and that man, and ask them to tell the truth. You could also consider seeking a couples counselor.
  • Question
    I told my boyfriend I'm 22, even though I'm only 19. How can I tell him my real age?
    Community Answer
    Just tell him you need to come clean about a lie you told him, and then tell him the truth. Apologize, and explain why you lied. Most likely he will understand.
  • Question
    I have a really intense crush, but I'm also in a relationship with the best boyfriend I could ask for! I love them equally now. Should I tell my boyfriend? If so, how?
    Community Answer
    Before you tell him, you need to make a decision. Do you want to stay with your boyfriend, or try things with the new guy? It's normal to have crushes while you're in a relationship, if he's really the "best" boyfriend, why would you leave him? Think this through carefully. You can't have it both ways, so decide what you're going to do and then talk to your boyfriend.
  • Question
    I tore my library book and my librarian is really strict. She had already asked us to not cause any damage to them. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Just bring the book in and apologize. You'll probably have to pay for a new copy.
  • Question
    How do I respect women?
    Community Answer
    You treat them like humans, not property. Know that what they choose to wear, say, or believe is up to them, and you can't control that. Be kind, polite, and considerate. Treat them like you'd want your mom and sisters to be treated. Don't touch a woman without her consent, and don't hit on women anywhere they're just trying to mind their own business (the gym, public transit, on the street, at work, etc.).
  • Question
    I'm a Muslim, and I'm having trouble with my identity. My parents want me to be the perfect little girl. I love music, but my parents don't know. I want to tell them. How?
    Community Answer
    Sit down and talk to them. Share your heart. Let them know that you're feeling pressure to be perfect and that you want to invest more in music because it's something you love. It might feel risky and vulnerable to do this, but you won't know how they might respond until you're honest.
  • Question
    I broke my parents wedding dishes that are really nice and now we have two instead of three. Should I wait for them to find out, or not?
    Community Answer
    It depends upon why you took it and if your parents can afford to buy a single plate of the same kind again. If they can, then may be they will forgive you. You can offer to do chores or buy it online with your pocket money if you find it online (with the help of your parents). They will find out eventually, so you can get it off your chest and explain why you took the plate and how it broke. Obviously, you didn't do it on purpose and won't do it again.
  • Question
    A little bit more than year ago me and my boyfriend were going through some really hard times we would constantly fight and I kissed someone else, I totally regret it but I am so scared to tell. Advice?
    Community Answer
    If you both were fighting, you both might have made your own lind of mistakes in that state. Would he confess if he had a crush on someone or kissed someone? If yes, then you can tell him too. A kiss can be like poison in your relationship because it is romantic. He might never forget it. Can you see yourself living well with your boyfriend with or without the confession? If you see a future, then confession will come naturally. With this confession you will know if you both can grow with these bitter experiences or your relationship needs to take a breather and see why you did what you did and if it could happen again with another fight. Be ready to face any outcome.
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