Q&A for How to Deal With a Premenstrual Girlfriend

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What should I do when she wants to be alone?

Community Answer

Let her know that you will be there when she needs you, and then give her space. She will get in touch when she's feeling better.

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Question

I try compassion methods all the time, but the only method that really works is a significant amount of abuse of any form from my side. I do not want to hurt her every month. Why does she require that?

Community Answer

What exactly do you mean by 'works'? Nothing positive can come out of abuse, and no one 'requires' abuse. If you're abusing her every month, she should have left you a long time ago. Your job in a relationship is not to control the other person or make them compliant or submissive to you. It's to care for and be kind and supportive to them. If your girlfriend is hard to be around during these times, and doesn't respond positively to kindness, then it's best to just give her space and leave her alone for a while. Obviously, she shouldn't mistreat you just because she's not feeling well, either, and you have the right to tell her that's not okay and to distance yourself from her if she keeps doing it - or even end the relationship if you two can't find a way to live in peace. But there's no excuse for abuse.

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Question

Is it bad if I try to avoid going home when she has PMS?

Community Answer

Instead of avoiding her, try to make her feel better by getting her a small gift or doing a kind favor for her.

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My girlfriend gets defensive about a guy friend she has online. She says I don't trust her and starts an argument. Is defensive behavior attributable to PMS, or is this something else I should worry about?

DK Heather

Community Answer

Defensive behavior is not part of PMS. If she continues to act like this, on this specific thing, you may want to consider looking at an article about cheating.

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Question

When my girlfriend is menstruating, can I joke around with her or should I stay serious?

Community Answer

You can certainly joke around, and pretty much act like you would anytime. Just try to be sensitive if she isn't feeling well and generally be considerate, as you always should be.

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Question

My girlfriend has depression. When she is on her period, it gets worse. She feels like she's always felt this bad and that nothing will get better. How can I help without telling her it's her period?

Community Answer

Make it extremely clear you are there for her. Sometimes she might need space, and other times she may need a long hug. Have patience, and maybe even surprise her with a little gift to brighten her day.

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When my girlfriend has PMS, she often tells me she wants to break up? What can I do about this?

Community Answer

Try complimenting her. Tell her she looks beautiful. Get her chocolates or gifts to express how much you love and care for her. Let her know that you will be there when she needs you, and then give her space if she is mad or moody. Wait for that time to pass and things should go back to normal.

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Question

Is ejaculating equivalent to menstruating?

Community Answer

No, the two are quite different.

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My girlfriend is moody on and off PMS time, just much worse during PMS time. She likes to yell all the time and it gets worse at PMS time. What should I do?

Community Answer

When your girlfriend is moody on and off her period, it is better to get her dark chocolate or just chocolate in general. But there is an ingredient in dark chocolate that soothes a female when upset or in a mood. Plus, chocolate is just great. If your girlfriend is always yelling at you, it might be a sign to break up with her. Not saying that you should do that, it is just an indication. The best thing to do right now is to talk to her(not over text) and tell her how her yelling makes you feel. If she starts yelling, keep your cool and don't raise your voice or show that you are upset with her. That can always lead to something way bigger and cause her to get angrier.

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Question

My girlfriend's black and has worse behavior problems then any of my previous girlfriends. Is she just crazy or does her ethnicity play a part in this?

Community Answer

Her race isn't the issue. If your girlfriend is violent, get away. She might hurt you.

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Question

My girlfriend wants to have serious talks about our relationship (mostly about things she thinks that are going wrong) during her period. Should I postpone these talks or just let her vent her feelings?

Community Answer

Let her vent. Try to be understanding and supportive. However, if this happens all the time and it's really starting to bother you, try bringing this issue up with her at a time when you're pretty sure she is NOT on her period. Tell her how it makes you feel and ask her to change her behavior.

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