Q&A for How to Determine Why Someone Is Treating You Poorly

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  • Question
    What do you do when your boyfriend treats you badly?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    If it is repetitive, examine if the relationship is worth it. If it has only occurred a few times, make a point to talk about it. Hear him out, but also state your piece.
  • Question
    How do you treat someone how they treat you?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    If someone is kind to you, be kind to them. If someone shows very little interest in you, and you've tried to show interest in them, don't knock yourself out trying to befriend them.
  • Question
    How do you treat a man you love?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Treat a man you love with kindness and thoughtfulness, but don't do so to the detriment of yourself. Also, continue to be good to yourself and keep up with your friends and family. Pay attention if he returns the kindness and thoughtfulness.
  • Question
    How do you treat someone you love?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Treat anyone you love with kindness, fairness, and consideration. Be honest, communicate, and compliment them, but also be willing to confront issues and say the more difficult things.
  • Question
    What should I do if my "close" friends start treating me badly when they learn that I am poor?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Sometimes people are only shallow friends. If people only hang around you for who they think you might have, they are not really true friends. While it is nice to hope that we will always be accepted, in reality it is not always like that. If you know them really well and have some trust in them, you can tell them directly how you feel. Otherwise, try to branch out and meet other people.
  • Question
    What should I do if someone is being fake nice to me but avoid me when they see me?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You can begin by writing down what you have noticed. Then if you feel the person is worth the effort, you could try bringing it up with them when you are alone and away from the larger group.
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