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How can you tell if a boy really likes you?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You know someone likes you by how they treat you, how they look at you, and how they talk about you and treat you around other people. People show affection in different ways, whether it be through hugs or doing things for you, but if someone likes you, they will be there for you and focused on you.

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Question

What do I do if I know my boyfriend is cheating on me, but the other girl he is dating is my best friend, and she is madly in love with him?

Community Answer

Dump them both. Clearly he's not loyal and neither is she, what kind of friend falls in love with their best friend's boyfriend? And what kind of friend acts on it? You can't trust either of these people.

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Question

I have recently started talking to someone and I am unsure of where we stand. He is not very trusting and he tells me I need to earn my place as his girl. Should I continue?

Community Answer

If he is telling you that you have to EARN the spot of being his girl then you should probably move on. If he truly cared about you he would take you as you are and not expect any more from you. It would probably be in your best interest to look around for some other guys and date them, maybe he'll see what he's missing or you'll find someone better that is more worthy of you.

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My boyfriend hardly calls me and he always tells me he's busy; he can go for days without calling me, should I quit or continue?

Community Answer

This is an easy one. Tell him that you want a man that can spend time with you, and since he's too busy, then you are going to look for someone who can. Stick to your guns and move on.

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I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn't treating me kindly. Should I have broken up with him?

Community Answer

Of course. There's no good reason to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat you well, especially if it's consistent.

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We've been dating for 3 months, I am always the one who pays for dinner and makes an effort. He is secretive on his phone. Is he playing me?

Community Answer

It sounds like it. Unless he is doing some very nice and thoughtful things for you that you've not mentioned, it sounds like he is taking advantage of you and/or seeing someone else.

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Question

What if he just wants to see me in my house?

Community Answer

Then he is probably just looking for a quick fling or sex with you, although it is difficult to know for sure. He may just be stringing you along, so be careful.

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How do I know if he really truly likes me if he's played me before, i.e., we've had an on-and-off relationship?

Community Answer

You can't know for certain, but if he has told you or shown you that he has changed, that is a good indicator. If he has apologized for past behavior and/or told you he wants to get serious, that's great, but still be cautious. If he's done/said nothing, you have no reason to believe he really cares for you at all.

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Question

What if the guy you are texting becomes all sweet at first, then disappears for days on end, then he shows up again with a text?

Community Answer

If he has no reason, it's most likely you're not a priority. Move on. A guy who likes you will be responsible about his actions.

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Question

Is someone playing me if he didn't reply to my text for almost a week and then replied with an apology that he was with a friend?

Community Answer

He might be playing with you, because if he really loved you he would reply faster. He apologized, because he was probably having no other girls to text with.

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What should I do if my boyfriend asks my best friend out?

Community Answer

Confront your boyfriend about it, and probably end the relationship unless you're willing to tolerate his obvious lack of commitment. Tell him that if he's interested in someone else, he should end the relationship with you before pursuing them, instead of basically cheating.

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What should I do if my boyfriend only tells certain friends about our relationship?

Community Answer

It means he's ashamed of introducing you to everyone, and you should probably think twice before getting any closer.

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Question

There's this guy and I don't know if he likes me or not. He acts like he does. On certain days he will be really affectionate, but on others he's not. He's hot and cold. But then he shows me off to his friends. Does he like me? What do I do?

Community Answer

Be brave! You have to be confident! If you truly like him then ask him out yourself! It sounds like he does like you, so take the plunge!

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Question

I think he's moving too fast, but I don't want him to leave me. Should I say something?

Community Answer

If he's doing anything that is making you uncomfortable, you should definitely speak up. Just start a conversation. Say something like, "I really like you, but I think we should take things a little slower."

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Question

What if he says he "wants to take it slow" with me, but is seeing other people too?

Community Answer

You should leave him. He's not serious about a relationship and he's certainly not serious about you. You deserve better.

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Question

What does it mean if a guy that I am in relationship with still goes to dating websites?

Community Answer

There can be different reasons why he is looking at a dating website. If you are unsure about it, just ask him. Positive and direct communication are key for a healthy and trustful relationship.

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Question

I recently met this guy and we've gone out for a date once, but he doesn't call nor text me until evening.

Community Answer

It may be that he is too busy with school or work during the day to get in touch. Maybe try talking to him about this. It's not necessarily a bad sign unless he only gets in touch with you when he wants sex, or doesn't seem to care about you or what's going on in your life.

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Question

What if his mom doesn't accept the relationship?

Community Answer

It depends on the reason she has for not accepting it. If you think there is a chance she will change her mind, you could try to show her what a great person you are. If not, it's probably best to end it now, assuming you're young and he lives under his mother's roof. Sneaking around doesn't work, and his mother's ill feelings will constantly be hanging over your heads, making it very difficult to be happy.

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How can I tell if my childhood friend and I should be together?

Community Answer

Talk honestly to your friend about your feelings. If you have chemistry and similar goals, you should take a chance and be together.

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Question

Should I believe his ex's when they say he's a player?

Community Answer

In my opinion, I say you ignore his ex's. You should get to know him for YOURSELF; everyone deserves a chance, even if you stay wary about possible cheating. It's also possible his ex's are just jealous and want to sabotage any new relationships he may have.

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Question

How can I learn to read mixed signals?

Community Answer

Attempting to read mixed signals from someone is liable to get you even more mixed up. Why not just ask a direct question to cut through the confusion?

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Question

There is this boy I was dating for three days. He asked me for nudes and broke up with me three days later, but he said he wants to be "friends with benefits". Should I trust him?

Community Answer

Only if that's all your looking for with him. It's clear that he only wants sex, not a relationship. If you haven't sent him nudes, don't.

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Question

A guy I been seeing is sweet, kisses me, holds hands, and we have passionate sex and cuddle. Then he ghosts me for a week, and he says he likes me but is emotionally unavailable. What should I do?

Community Answer

If you aren't ok with that arrangement, cut him off.

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Question

My best friend and I like the same guy. He flirts with both of us and tells us different things. How do we know which one he's playing and which one he is serious about?

Community Answer

It sounds like he's just a huge flirt or he's playing both of you. My advice would be for both of you to forget about him. You don't want this guy to get in the way of your friendship, especially if he is a player. If you're unwilling to do this, one or both of you should just ask him point black if he's interested in one of you.

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Question

The guy I like is a player, and told me I can change him if I really want to be with him. What does this mean?

Community Answer

Whatever he says, don't listen. He's just trying to get ahead of his reputation and make you think you can trust him. You can't. If he's a player, he's a player. You can't change him.

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Question

If a guy likes me and tells me he does without me asking, but he has a girlfriend, is he playing with me?

Community Answer

This has happened to me. This doesn't mean he is playing you. It means that he would rather be with you than with his current girl. But once a cheater, always a cheater. If you end up going out with this guy, he'll probably just ditch you as soon as another girl he likes comes along.

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Question

What do I do if he likes other girls, and how do I react if he is trying to make me jealous?

Community Answer

Don't react. If he is trying to make you jealous, then try not to pay attention and just ignore him. If you want to know if he has serious feelings for you, try asking him.

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If a guy kisses me after dating me for four months, is that too soon?

Community Answer

Many people have relationships where they kiss each other from the start, so don't worry about four months being too soon. However, if you're still uncomfortable with kissing him, then just let him know that you'd like to wait a little longer before things get physical.

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My boyfriend spends more of his time with my best friend. Should I worry?

Community Answer

Try to pay attention to how they act when you're all together. Does he flirt with her? Do they act like they have something to hide? Maybe they're just good friends. Have they known each other a long time? If this is making you uncomfortable, you should speak up. No matter what's going on with your friend, if your boyfriend isn't giving you enough time/attention, tell him.

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What will I do if my guy asks me for some money but is always full of excuses when I ask him?

Community Answer

Call him out on it, gently. Do this at a calm time, when both of you are in a good mood.

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