Q&A for How to Get Your Cat to Know and Love You

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Question

How can I tell if my cat is stressed out?

Brian Bourquin, DVM
Veterinarian
Brian Bourquin, better known as “Dr. B” to his clients, is a Veterinarian and the Owner of Boston Veterinary Clinic, a pet health care and veterinary clinic with three locations, South End/Bay Village, the Seaport, and Brookline, Massachusetts. Boston Veterinary Clinic specializes in primary veterinary care, including wellness and preventative care, sick and emergency care, soft-tissue surgery, dentistry. The clinic also provides specialty services in behavior, nutrition, and alternative pain management therapies using acupuncture, and therapeutic laser treatments. Boston Veterinary Clinic is an AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) accredited hospital and Boston’s first Fear Free Certified Clinic. Brian has over 19 years of veterinary experience and earned his Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from Cornell University.

Brian Bourquin, DVM

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

Look for changes in your cat's behavior. For example, your cat going to the bathroom outside of the litter box is a telltale sign that it's not happy. If your cat isn't eating, that could be a sign of something serious. If it becomes more attention-seeking or suddenly doesn't want any attention, that could also be a sign. Basically, anything that isn't the status quo is a red flag.

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Question

My new cat only plays with me sometimes and doesn't love me. What can I do?

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
Veterinarian
Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

The fact that she plays with you is encouraging. Aim to play with her for short time periods several times a day so that she associates you with fun. Keep some treats in a small pouch in your pocket, and drop the occasional treat as you walk along, which will help to entice her closer. When she starts to ask for more treats, make a fuss of her, and gradually she will become more affectionate.

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Question

How do you make a street cat love you?

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
Veterinarian
Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

Street cats are likely to be fearful of people, anxious, and keen to keep their distance. Try to win her confidence by feeding her regularly, so that she associates your presence with security and good things. Step a little closer each time so she grows used to your presence. Wait for her to come to you to be petted, rather than approaching her. Be prepared to be patient!

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Question

After being neutered, my cat isn't as friendly and runs away. How can I get him back the way he used to be?

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
Veterinarian
Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

He is still the same cat, and, if anything, neutering makes a cat more (not less) friendly. It might be that he remembers being caught and put in the carrier to go to the vet's office. If this is the case, avoid holding or restraining him, as this will only make him want to escape. Instead, ignore him but drop treats on the floor as you walk, to help him link you to good things. Pet him gently when he rubs against your legs, but do not attempt to pick him up. Gradually, he will forget being taken to the vet and become the same friendly cat again.

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Question

I am new to cats and have a 4-month old Thailand Lynx. When I see her, I hug and squeeze her, but now she sees me and runs away. What should I do?

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
Veterinarian
Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

With cats, "less is more." They don't like being held against their will, and she's likely to see your hugs as restraining her rather than something pleasurable. Instead, back right off and let her come to you. Lure her over with a game or treats. Wait until she is close enough that she bumps her head against you, then slowly reach out to stroke her. However, do not attempt to hold her. Wait until she regularly runs up to you before you try to pick her up.

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Question

My friend's cat always hides from me, but I want it to like me. What should I do?

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS
Veterinarian
Dr. Elliott, BVMS, MRCVS is a veterinarian with over 30 years of experience in veterinary surgery and companion animal practice. She graduated from the University of Glasgow in 1987 with a degree in veterinary medicine and surgery. She has worked at the same animal clinic in her hometown for over 20 years.

Pippa Elliott, MRCVS

Veterinarian

Expert Answer

The best strategy is to ignore the cat! When you try to make friends and stare at the cat, this is the cat equivalent of a challenge to a fight, so she will run and hide. Instead, concentrate on having a good time with your friend, and the cat will eventually gain confidence and come out to meet you.

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