Q&A for How to Handle Changes in Your Life

Change will always happen, so avoid resisting it. Try to see change as an opportunity to grow and become a better problem-solver.

It all comes down to your mindset. Instead of focusing on the negative, ask yourself how this situation can help you grow and become a better problem-solver. This will help you feel more in control of the situation and help you resolve the issue.

I’m very sorry to hear you’re in so much pain. You’ll need to take some preliminary steps in order to resolve this conflict. Do you and your ex have a custody agreement? If so, you will need to contact the authorities about enforcing this agreement. Do you know where your Ex lives? It might be time to contact her or visit to see your daughters. Do you think they are safe? If not, it might be time to contact the police about their safety and location. Are your daughters old enough to contact you or have access to a cell phone? It might be time to call them. Do you know any family members of your Ex who would know where she is? It might be time to contact them and ask about your Ex and your daughters. If you have already tried all your options and if you are not eating, sleeping, or functioning normally, I advise that you seek the support of a mental health professional in your area, especially if you are having thoughts of suicide or wishes of no longer ‘being here.’ Although you have not seen your daughters, you still matter to them and you owe it to yourself and them to seek the support and help that you need as you go through this time. If you are in immediate crisis, call 911 or go to the ER for help. You can also call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

Accepting a major life change takes time, so be patient and don't be too hard on yourself. Also, take time to analyze the specifics of the change and how it has impacted (and not impacted) your life. Then, work to develop strategies to effectively deal with the changes happening to you and within you. Don't be afraid to seek the help of a trusted friend or a professional counselor.

In a situation like this, the old saying that "time heals all wounds" may seem like small consolation. But, in reality, you can and will adapt to life without your father. Give yourself time to grieve, and expect good and bad days in your adjustment process. Also, don't feel as though you are dishonoring your father's memory by eventually getting on with your life; certainly he would want you to do exactly that.

Learn the language and customs. Decide with your friends how you will communicate with each other. Pack early, so that you do not get hung up on certain things you will need to leave behind.

Try to stay in contact with your current friends. Learn about what your new hometown has that's interesting or unique so you can visit these places and get some downtime from the crowds. Make new friends who can show you where all the good places in town are.