Q&A for How to Make Friends when You Are Not Social

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  • Question
    What if I am the shy kid in my class? How do I make friends if no one will talk to me and I'm not good at saying the first word?
    Alleycatrox
    Community Answer
    This just means you need to work on good communication skills. It's okay to not be able to say the first word, but something as simple as a "Hello" or "How's your day" can change everything. Start small and see where the conversation goes.
  • Question
    What if I made a bad first impression?
    Community Answer
    Hopefully the person will give you a second chance. Show your sense of humor with a little self-deprecation. For example, if an awkward silence ensues after your failed joke, say something like, "It sounded funny in my head!" or "Wow, that wasn't funny at all." Such a remark shows the person or group that you read their responses and know that your joke fell flat. If you offended someone or hurt their feelings, just apologize.
  • Question
    What if my friends would rather play video games than hang out with me?
    Community Answer
    Maybe you could suggest doing another activity together outside of the house, like going to a movie or the park. If they still refuse, maybe you should try to make new friends who share more of your interests.
  • Question
    How do I make good friends in high school in the middle of the school year when everyone has already found good friends? I want to be part of a specific group but I don't know how to join them.
    Community Answer
    Be yourself, and don't be shy! Go talk to the people and show them what you are like! Try not to be needy, just be friendly. If they have a rude or mean response, don't try so hard. Do you really want to be friends with mean or rude people? Don't worry if it doesn't work out with this group, you'll find somewhere you fit in.
  • Question
    How can I make friends if most of my class hates me since I am Asian?
    Community Answer
    You should speak with your parents, your teacher, and/or the head of the school about the racism and discrimination you are experiencing in school. Don't keep this to yourself. Also, you could try participating in activities outside of school that will help you meet new people and make new friends.
  • Question
    How can I make friends if people think the real me is too awkward, and I'm super shy in middle school?
    ChristobelJoy
    Community Answer
    The best thing to do is just steel yourself and walk up to somebody who seems nice and doesn't seem to have trouble keeping a conversation going. Introduce yourself, and something great could happen.
  • Question
    I want to make more friends, but I am afraid if I start to try to approach them, they might treat me as unwanted and won't really try to like me. How can I make myself friendlier and likeable?
    Community Answer
    Just be yourself. And, remember, if these people don't like you for you, don't try so hard. Just be outgoing, nice, kind, trustworthy, reliable and yourself. You have nothing to lose.
  • Question
    How can I make new friends from other classes in my school?
    Community Answer
    Try joining some extracurricular clubs and activities; they're great ways to meet new people. Always be friendly and approachable. Don't try too hard to fit in with people you don't match, and the right friends will come to you.
  • Question
    How can a moody person make and keep friends?
    Community Answer
    I'm like this, and the best piece of advice I can give you is to try to cut down on negativity. This includes jokes and humor. I always had a very sarcastic sense of humor and would make jokes at others' expense. This pushes people away, as it makes you look disingenuous and generally nasty. If you struggle with a low mood, I advise to push yourself into new situations, not necessarily social ones, but just do something like go outside, or do something you enjoy, like swimming or photography, but avoid staying in your house when you do them. It will be hard at first, but when your mood improves, your social skills will most likely improve too.
  • Question
    What can I do if I am the type of person who sits in a corner alone?
    Community Answer
    In order to communicate better with people and keep a long-lasting friendship, you just need to walk up to them and speak. You'll need to be confident. The best thing to do is to say in your mind, "I can do this. I'm going to be strong."
  • Question
    I am overweight, but I am friendly. Lately my friends ignore me and don't sit with me anymore, I end up sitting alone. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    I am sure they are not ignoring you because of your weight because otherwise they wouldn't have been friends with you in the first place. Sometimes kids are cruel for no reason, that can be hard. Focus on all of your good qualities and try to make new friends. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to get to know you.
  • Question
    It's hard for me to talk to teachers without my voice being lower and high pitched, plus it's easy for my face to get red. I usually always get a red face for a lot of things. How could I fix this?
    Isobel
    Community Answer
    Baby steps are the best way. Start off by asking simple things. Yes, you may go red in the face and your voice may go off, but this is because you're inexperienced in a way. You just need to find your voice.
  • Question
    There's this girl in one of my classes who seems really cool and seems to have the same personality as me, but I do not know how to approach her - I'm not usually the one to start conversations. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Change! Be the one to start this conversation and feel empowered because you did something that was uncomfortable for you. Few good things happen in life without some risk being taken. Introduce yourself, and ask her questions (ex. What's your favorite song?). But do not ask too many questions at once, or she might feel like she's being interviewed.
  • Question
    How can I keep a conversation flowing? Because my boyfriend is now complaining.
    Jroseamonthorns
    Community Answer
    Talk about experiences that you both went through. If he goes to your school, bring up a class or project that you guys did at school that day. That may help break the ice a little.
  • Question
    How can I keep a conversation rolling? Even when I am with friends, I have trouble finding things to talk about and keeping the conversation flowing.
    Top Answerer
    Silence builds friendship. Embrace the fact that you don't always have to talk. Listening, too, builds friendship. Think back to something your friends told you about a week ago and ask a follow up question, no matter how trivial. Was someone's sister getting a haircut? Ask how that worked out, and listen to their story.
  • Question
    I don't have any friends, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Find an opportunity, and try to talk to someone new. I made a friend from doing a math problem for them (sounds odd, I know).
  • Question
    I'm home-schooled,and I live almost in the middle of nowhere. When my family and I go into town I see lots of nice people my age. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Just say, "Hey" and ask them a few benign questions like where they go to school, what's a great place to eat around town, etc. Once a conversation starts up, ask them questions about themselves and go from there.
  • Question
    I emailed someone I only met once (and we didn't talk at the time). He replied to my first email, but he didn't reply my second one, which included a coupe of questions about him. What should I do?
    jordan cannon
    Community Answer
    Email him back saying, "Hi, just reaching out to see if you got my last email. Hope all is well." If he still doesn't respond, it would be best to just move on.
  • Question
    Most of my friends place me as a second thought to most everyone else that they talk to. They also edge away from me as if I have a disease that they can catch, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Instead of waiting for them to come to you, try going up to them and starting a friendly conversation. After a while they will stop excluding you. Or find a new friend who will treat you properly.
  • Question
    My friends are so busy with work nowadays they don't have time to spend with me and I'm shy and I don't know how to drive to go anywhere myself. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Well, look into getting your license so you can be independent. In the meantime, you can ask someone to drop you off downtown and spend the day going to the library, hanging out in coffee shops, window shopping, etc. Or you can start a new hobby at home.
  • Question
    Everyone seems to know how to reach out except me. Sometimes I try to hard or my mind goes blank. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Challenge yourself to do one social thing a day, even if it is as small as saying "hello" to someone new. Over time, it will get easier.
  • Question
    How can I make new friends in the middle of the school year?
    Community Answer
    It doesn't matter if it's the middle of the school year, the beginning of the school year, or the summer -- gaining some friends is always the same. You need to be open to other peoples thoughts, and then they'll at least start to like you. Then you should let them get to know who you are. Ask them if the want to hang out or do something you like (while not forcing them into doing something they don't want to do).
  • Question
    The last time I had friends I was 5 years old, then because my mother was overprotective I used to stay indoors and some people even forgot about me. How do I rejoin my friends since I am a shy guy?
    Community Answer
    Do what you're into and let people come to you. After that make conversation and be active.
  • Question
    I don't have any friends and I try to be friendly. What am I doing wrong?
    Caley027
    Community Answer
    You are not necessarily doing anything wrong. Try starting up a conversation that you think people will be interested in, and be patient.
  • Question
    What if I have this face that always looks snobbish and it makes people avoid me? I'm in high school.
    Community Answer
    Practice making a more "open" and friendly facial expression. Eyebrows have a lot to do with expression, so if your eyebrows are untrimmed or have an angry appearance, you will too. Try smiling a lot and trying to get closer to people. And make sure you have a good posture.
  • Question
    What if being myself doesn't work?
    Community Answer
    Keep trying. Step out of your comfort zone and talk to more people. It's great to be yourself, but if your "self" is super shy and too scared to talk to anyone, you're probably not going to make any friends.
  • Question
    What if I don't have friends because no one likes me?
    Community Answer
    Try starting conversations with lots of different people, or join a club that suits your interests. When talking to people, try not to interrupt them, and just be nice. Soon enough you will find someone you will like (and hopefully they will like you too!).
  • Question
    How can I make good friends in high school when everyone is already in a friend group?
    Community Answer
    Figure out which friend group that you would want to be in, and which friend group seems nice. Try to join in on their conversations, and become friends with some of the people in the group, especially if you have any classes with them. Also, join some clubs, or sports teams if you're athletic.
  • Question
    What is most effective means to make new friends?
    Kailin Fauley
    Community Answer
    The best way to make friends is simple. Talk! Put yourself out there. If you choose the right friend group, all things will be good. Talking to a friend definitely beats being alone.
  • Question
    What if I never have the opportunity to make friends? I'm not allowed to join clubs, I don't know how to play any sports, and I'm not allowed out of my house!
    Girl02
    Community Answer
    Every time you go outside is an opportunity. Meet the neighbors, talk to people at school (if you go to school), and when doing sport or other shared activities. You will have friends in no time.
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