Q&A for How to Make an Annoying Roommate Move Out

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How do I have a serious conversation with a roommate?

Kateri Berasi, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of Transcendent Self, PLLC, a group therapy practice offering affirmative, collaborative, and intentional care, based in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with adults from the LGBTQIA+ community and creative industries through individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and costume therapy. She holds a BA in Psychology, Art History, and French Language and Literature from George Washington University and an MA and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from Columbia University. Dr. Berasi also holds a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University.

Kateri Berasi, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Set a framework with the other person before you open up the discussion. Take time to state the purpose of the conversation, as well as what your intended goal is.

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Question

My roommate moved out, but still has my house full of all her furniture and things. She won't move her stuff out, and I need to rent the rooms or I'll be homeless! What should I do?

Community Answer

Give a written notice to both her and your landlord by registered mail informing her she has thirty days to remove her things, or you will get rid of them yourself. If she picks them up, great! If not, sell/pawn them and make some money, or just take them to the dump.

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Question

Is it legal to have restrictions on a roommate's visitors?

Community Answer

Certainly. This is something that is often discussed when first setting ground rules for your house or apartment. Just talk to your roommate about it!

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Question

What should I do if the roommate situation has gone from annoying to scary?

Community Answer

You may need to get other people involved, especially if you are starting to fear for your life or safety. If you live in a dorm at school, then you need to talk to the people in charge of housing. They can switch roommates for you or move you to another room. If this is in an apartment, and you don't own the apartment, the best thing for you to do would be to move out. If you own the apartment, you may need to get the police involved.

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Question

My roommates are putting food all over their room and make noise at night, plus never help in anything. Should I sabotage their hygiene products?

Community Answer

That probably won't help. You should probably tell them how you feel and follow the advice in this article.

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Question

Can I change my locks and not give my roommate a key?

Community Answer

This isn't an ideal approach because your roommate will keep calling you to get in and they might even get so annoyed that they break the lock or even the door or a window; after all, they might rationalize if their things are in the house, they have a right to get to them. They might also get the police involved. Best to ask them to leave or to use the suggestions in the article.

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Question

I want a cousin of mine to get out of my house. I ignore her completely. How do I make my mom send her from my house?

WillowWeasley

Community Answer

If she doesn't have anywhere to go, that's not okay. Imagine how she feels, she probably feels terrible, wondering what she did wrong.

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Question

I want my cousin to get out of my house. How should I make my Mom send him away?

Community Answer

It's your mother and it's her house. She can decide for herself whether your cousin should leave her house. You can tell your mother why you want your cousin out of the house, but you cannot make her kick him out.

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Question

How do I deal with a roommate threatening me?

Community Answer

If they're threatening you with bodily harm or blackmailing you, get some things together and go stay somewhere else temporarily, then file a police report. These types of threats are against the law. If you attempt to file a restraining order, most likely the cops will ask your roommate to move out, but keep in mind that this will likely not happen overnight.

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What can I do if my roommate treats me like a slave?

Community Answer

Sit down with them and have a talk about the way they're treating you. Lay down some boundaries about what you will and will not do for them and how you expect them to behave with you from here on out. If they continue trying to get you to do stuff for them, etc., just ignore them.

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How do I get a friend to move out of my home if there was no rental agreement?

Community Answer

If he's not on the lease, give him an eviction notice. On the lease you may need to take him to court if he doesn't go willingly.

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