Q&A for How to Pass Gas in Bed Without Anyone Noticing

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What should I do if I don't have a sphincter?

Community Answer

A sphincter is a muscle that holds the anus and bladder closed. Everybody has one.

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Question

What happens when the smell is so bad, your eyes are watering?

Community Answer

Well, then I think your bed partner will know you farted. Laugh about it.

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Question

What if someone is giving me a piggy back and I need to pass gas?

Community Answer

Just pass it. You could ask to be lowered down and move away from that person if you want to be a little more discreet.

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Question

What do I do if I have to pass gas in a bathroom stall but there aren't any diversions available? Should I still do it?

Community Answer

If you are in the bathroom, you are in the optimal place to do it. Do it there, as opposed to anywhere else.

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Question

What do I do if I'm alone with my friend and one of us farts?

Caeiia

Top Answerer

Say "Sorry" for politeness's sake, but chances are the other person won't care. It shouldn't be a big deal.

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Question

My girlfriend farts in my face every one and awhile. She is very sensitive to criticism. How do I tell her to stop?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

You don't have to be rude or insulting, obviously, but you also can't just let it go. If you feel this is something you don't like, you'll have to let her know. Just because she's sensitive to criticism doesn't mean you can't criticize her. Take her feelings into account, but certainly do address the issue. "Look, honey, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I truly feel bad when you do that."

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Question

What if I really need a pee and pas gas, but there are no bathrooms?

Community Answer

Hold the gas in, and the urge will go away. If you need to pee and there is absolutely nowhere to go without being seen, then keep really still and cross your legs. Only move to change positions.

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Question

What if I want to pass a lot of gas in meeting?

Community Answer

Then you should try this as you would in bed. Lean as back as you can, put your hands under your butt and open it and let it out slowly. Try not to attract too much attention to you as you will get more nervous and you will result in failing to silently pass gas.

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Question

What can I do if I m in public?

Community Answer

If you need to publicly pass audible gas, try to make some noise as a distraction. A quick cough, shout, or a loud question may be the best way.

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Question

What if I wet myself while farting?

Community Answer

Go to the bathroom and clean yourself off. You can wash the sheets afterwards.

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Question

What about having to fart and can't?

Community Answer

Just let it come naturally, I suppose. Don't force it or it may be loud or it might not even be a fart.

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Question

What do I do if I fart during sex?

Community Answer

Just say a quick apology and keep going. It happens, and most people will be understanding about it.

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Question

Do the granny panties with filters really work?

Community Answer

Yes! They work extremely well. If you don't have a pair, consider using a dryer sheet.

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Question

What do I do if when I fart I get explosive diarrhea and pee everywhere?

Community Answer

You clean up the mess. Then you start wearing diapers. You might also want to consult with a doctor.

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