Q&A for How to Politely Stop Being Friends With Someone

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  • Question
    My friends in a group never treat me as a friend, but if I go away, they start gossiping about me and taunting me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Stick up for yourself. Then leave them be. Ignore what they have to say, and just find the people in your life that accept you for who you are, and stick with them.
  • Question
    My best friend has hit me and invited herself over without asking my permission. How should I tell her that I want to end our friendship?
    Community Answer
    Tell your friend you aren't comfortable with how she's behaved toward you (be specific with what's she done), and that you don't feel these are the actions of a best friend.
  • Question
    How can I do this if my friend is mean?
    Community Answer
    If your friend is mean, then they're not a true friend. Simply tell this "friend" that you can't be friends with them anymore. Remember, your own happiness is also important; if someone is being mean to you, then you are under no obligation to be their friend.
  • Question
    I really want to end a friendship with my college friend. We've been close for a little over a semester but the more I know her the more I want to end our "friendship". I don't feel connected with her anymore, our interests aren't the same anymore (I think we've never had actual things in common anyway), and the ultimate reason why I want to end things with her is she cannot keep a secret. How do I cut her out of my life when I see her every day in class?
    Sammiloves
    Community Answer
    It is quite clear from what you've explained that she really bothers you and that you've come to a point of the friendship being over. You may want to take the gradual approach if you want to ease out of the relationship, such as not meeting up with her, not sitting near her and not really contributing to conversations. If she asks you why you have become more distant and avoiding of her, tell her why, and tell her all of the reasons you've just cited here. You might also try giving her a false secret, then telling her that you know it was her who spread it because you made it up and she was the only person you told it to, revealing to her that it's patently obvious that she breaches confidences.
  • Question
    How can I end a friendship when our moms are great friends?
    Community Answer
    Just tell your mom that you and your friend aren't getting along very well right now. Its okay if your mom is friends with her mom, because like it says in the article, you can still be nice to your ex friend.
  • Question
    How do I break up with a friend? Can I just do it over text?
    Community Answer
    Unless you're living in another state or country, don't do it by text. It's kind of like breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend over text. it's immature. Instead, plan out what you're going to say; maybe even write it on a notecard. Then sit down with your friend and explain yourself.
  • Question
    My friend is really clingy and always fights with me, complains all of the time and gets jealous when I hang out with my other friends. How do I tell her I don't want to be friends?
    Community Answer
    Flat out tell her with an accompanied explanation, nicely stating everything you just said. She'll hopefully understand you wanting to get rid of bad energy in your life.
  • Question
    What do I do if whenever I try to end our friendship, my friend guilt trips me out of it?
    Community Answer
    You know why you want to stop being friends and that should be enough. Stay nice and kind, but if she ever guilt trips you again, let her know how much it bothers you and why you want to end the friendship, then do so.
  • Question
    What should I do if she was being rude and threatened to kill me with a pencil?
    Community Answer
    Stop being friends with her first of all. Second of all, like what this article said, don't retaliate. If she keeps threatening you, then tell the teacher.
  • Question
    The reasons I don't want to be her friend are stuff like: She brags a lot, she is selfish and rude to people who aren't me. Would those be good enough reasons stop this friendship?
    Community Answer
    Be careful how you go about telling your friend these reasons, as you don't want to hurt her and turn her into your worst enemy. Perhaps the friendliest thing to do though is to be an honest friend who tells her as it is, that she is putting other people off because she is boastful, thoughtless and a little too defensive around them. Offer to help her make changes that will help her to seem nicer to other people before ditching the friendship completely. Sometimes friends need to be the voice of reason rather than abandoning the friendship as "all too hard".
  • Question
    What do I do if I can't really connect to my friend anymore but she's close to me because I'm her only friend?
    Community Answer
    Try to slowly help her socialize with other girls and become friends with them. Help her to be friendlier to others and tell people she is shy and needs their help to reach out. You mention that you can't connect with her anymore -- this suggests that you are wanting to move on from the friendship, so you need to handle that transition gently and with care for her feelings.
  • Question
    What happens if the friend tries to end all of my other friendships and then goes on gossiping that I have no friends?
    Community Answer
    Be strong and simply ignore her. You could tell her that she cannot tell this to other people if she does not have a evidence, or a good evidence but she might just keep making it up anyway. People worth it will know you're valuable and a great individual and that she's a scatterbrained gossip monger.
  • Question
    What if my only best friend hangs out with my other sort of friend who is really rude to me?
    Community Answer
    Tell your best friend that the other friend is often rude, to the point of hurting you. Ask your best friend to decide how to deal with this along with you, so that you can present a united front and ask this other friend to be more respectful around you. Then go ahead and ask your rude friend to be nicer to you.
  • Question
    Why is my friend mean to me when we're around other people but nice when we're alone?
    Community Answer
    It sounds like your friend is two faced and may not be a true friend after all. Talk to her about how she makes you feel. If she doesn't care about your feelings or continues the behavior, it may be time to move on and find a new friend.
  • Question
    There was this person I stopped being friends with, but I can't stop thinking about her. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    You can try to make new friends, or try busying yourself with outdoor activities. I find a mug of hot chocolate and a movie marathon is a good distraction from all the things in the outside world.
  • Question
    What if my friend is super clingy and bossy, but her parents are close to my mom?
    Community Answer
    Tell her that you do not want to continue being friends, but make sure to give her valid reasons. Be kind and respectful, and don't use words that sound mean or accusatory. For example, tell her you just don't have a lot in common. Explain this to your mom, too, so she doesn't include her in plans with her parents.
  • Question
    If I end our friendship, will she tell everyone my secrets?
    Community Answer
    Anything is possible but without knowing more about your particular situation and why you are worried about this potential, it's not possible to advise much. If you are concerned about this, think about what "secrets" you have that are potentially so worrisome, and how to go into damage control if she does say things. Also, what do you know about her secrets? You could always remind her that she has them too and that if she says anything about yours, you'll share hers.
  • Question
    I have a friend whom I really like, but she wants me to give her space (not going out with her or having lunch with her or waiting for her). I really like her, and I don't want to make her sad. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    I don't think she will be sad if you give her some space like she wants. All friends need space: you don't need to wait for each other or see each other 24/7. Give her the space she requests and learn to occupy yourself with other hobbies and relationships.
  • Question
    What should I do if I still want to be friends with someone, but I don't like the person they're constantly around?
    Sweet.Potato
    Community Answer
    Just make plans while the person you don't like is around. If that person is always around, then you can talk to your friend about how you feel. In addition to this, you can also make new friends that you enjoy spending time with.
  • Question
    My friend cries every time I tell her. Advice?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Stop telling her. You told her once, that should have been enough. Perhaps one or two follow-up conversations are OK, after things have settled down a bit, but at some point there is no new information to be given and no amount of pleading will change your mind. So leave it at that. You can still be polite and kind, don't ignore her completely.
  • Question
    How do I cut off work friends?
    Community Answer
    Start being less personal and more professional and slowly stop hanging out with them after office hours, citing personal reasons if you need an excuse. Don't do this suddenly and drastically, especially if all of you are part of a team, as it may affect your work environment. Do it slowly over a period of time and give ample hints for them to understand.
  • Question
    My friend is autistic and won't leave me alone. She is really sensitive and doesn't understand when I say I want my space with other friends. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Try introducing her to your other friends, and help her to make new ones. That way she'll have other friends to hang out with, and not just you.
  • Question
    How do I tell a guy to move on and stop hanging out with me?
    Community Answer
    Tell him kindly but firmly that you don't want to hang out, then ignore him if he tries to contact you again.
  • Question
    I am part of a friend group who only get their enjoyment from picking on me. Summer is on its way, but if I drift away from the group, I'll have nobody; we're all social outcasts. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Drift. I've been in this situation, and to be honest, I was alone for a while, but it was all worth it when I found true friends that appreciated me for who I was and laughed with me, not at me. It will take some time, but eventually you will find some great friends.
  • Question
    My friends says I'm rude and clingy. I tried to be less clingy and rude, but they keep saying the same thing. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    It sounds like these are not very good friends, especially if you've already asked them what behavior they object to and tried to change the behavior, which it sounds like you have. If this is the case, speak up and say they're hurting your feelings and you don't want to be treated this way anymore. If they continue saying these things to you, just start avoiding them. Make some new friends. You don't need people in your life who don't respect you.
  • Question
    What should I do if my friend is putting her boyfriend first before all of her friends?
    Community Answer
    That's a tricky situation, but I would recommend talking to her about how you feel. Explain what she does that you find hurtful, and make suggestions as to how she could balance her friends and her boyfriend better in the future. If she doesn't seem to respond well, then you may just have to give her some space and plan some activities with your other friends that don't include her.
  • Question
    What if she told her parents lies about me and they might be going to the principal?
    Community Answer
    Be honest no matter what. If the principal wants to speak with you or get involved, remain honest with them and your parents and her parents. Try to avoid lashing out at her, calling her a liar, or spreading other rumors about her in response. Make sure to treat her with respect even if she doesn't do the same for you. The principal and the parents will recognize your maturity and they will also be able to tell that you are telling the truth.
  • Question
    What do I do because this girl that's my friend is really weird and anti-social and just stays on her own. How can I stop being her friend? Because I feel embarrassed every time I'm seen with her.
    Community Answer
    First of all, this is extremely disrespectful. Just because someone is "weird" and "anti-social" does not mean you have to stay away from them. If they want to be your friend then you are their friend regardless of what other people think. Do you want to be polite? Don't ditch your friends because the "cool kids" think that kid is weird or annoying.
  • Question
    My friend is very inappropriate while texting. She talks about sex and stuff (she and I are both eleven), and she tells other people I like this kid when I told her I don't like anyone. What do I do?
    Sara26celtic
    Community Answer
    She is a very toxic friend. You should screenshot the messages she sends you so you can show them to an adult. You need to stop being friends with her as soon as possible.
  • Question
    What do I say if she never joins in games and her brother swears at my other friend and me?
    Community Answer
    Ask her why. If she ignores you, she isn't worth your time. Tell the teacher of her brother or tell his mother. If it doesn't help, just ignore them, they aren't worth your time.
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