Q&A for How to Respond when Someone Calls You a "Racist"

You never know what this person may be going through to get to a point to accuse you. If you go into the conversation with curiosity, it gives room for both of you to explore, learn, and come to an understanding.

Approach the problem with a curious and compassionate mind. There may be valid points this person is trying to make, so stay calm and try to unpack the emotions and reason behind it. Keep an open mind and a kind heart.

Of course not. You are racist if you think that being white makes you better than someone else.

Speaking as a white person here: There's a huge difference between white guilt (unproductive self-blame over broad social issues) and personal responsibility. If white guilt is what you mean by "apologism," then you are absolutely right that sitting in a corner and angsting is unhelpful. It takes a lot of courage to look at something bad you said or did, and say "I messed up, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again." The goal is to take responsibility and be the best person you can be. To avoid repeating our ancestors' mistakes, we must be willing to educate ourselves and help others in the face of unequal opportunities instead of just sitting on our hands as Martin Luther King, Jr. warned against. Work on being a helper, being compassionate, and taking responsibility for your actions, even when it's hard. Then, hopefully, this generation and the next ones will be better off than the previous ones.

Talk to a school counselor: say that you're having problems with another student and ask for advice. It might help to carefully re-evaluate your words and actions in case you might have accidentally said something racist, or something that sounded racist even if you didn't mean it that way. Express concern about getting along and wanting to have a good relationship with the student, and use the article steps to help you. Show goodwill towards the other student and give him or her the benefit of doubt; this goes a long way towards ending a fight. An adult may be able to help figure out why this person keeps on calling you racist, if apologies are in order, and how to smooth it out so you can get along with each other.

Virtually every racist does this. Say something like, "It's racist whether you meant it as a joke or not, and I'd appreciate it if you refrained from saying those things in my presence."

If the person won't accept your apology and efforts to fix the situation, the only thing you can do is have nothing further to do with that person. You are under no obligation to continue to try to persuade anyone to accept you.

Yes, you should do your best to make the situation right. Simply apologize for your ignorance or for making a rude comment. But if the person refuses to accept your apology, it's best to just move on.

You can do your best to show that you are not, or are no longer, racist. However, there is little you can do to persuade that person to change their mind.

It's not true that only white people are considered racist. But basically, anyone can have racial biases, but the words "racist" and "racism" have connotations related to systemic oppression. Meaning that white people have benefited from the racism of whole societies working to keep them in positions of power and keep people of other races/ethnicities from having the same opportunities.

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No. No race is inherently better than another. All races should be treated equally.

Try to talk to her, she may have misunderstood what you were trying to say. Ask her about it and see if you can get her to understand what your intent was in saying what you did.

The truth is, anyone can be racist to anyone. However, since some races/ethnicities have been oppressed in the past (and, in some ways, still are today), it's sometimes hard to view the oppressed as the “oppressor”. In other words, some people find it difficult to believe that people who (generally) experience racism the most could still be racist towards others. What makes you racist is if you discriminate against someone entirely because of their race/nationality.

Asking a question to find out a genuine answer is not racist. However, it's possible that it genuinely offended the person who accused you of being racist. I don't think you should feel obligated to apologize, but if you did apologize, it would definitely show respect and integrity on your part.

Not all black people think that, but those who do most likely believe that because they find it difficult to understand how someone of a racial minority could be biased against a racial majority. In other words, they can't see their own prejudice against others because they're focused on the prejudice against them, if that makes sense.

Just respond by explaining to them that that is the company's policy and applies to everyone.

It has largely to do with the Eurocentric history rhetoric of schooling. Many history programs barely touch on the Middle East before the twentieth century. The Black Panthers are often brushed over since there are far more important things going on in that era.

In a public forum debate, this will lose them the debate the moment they say it, as it is a personal attack, not an attack on your rhetoric.