Q&A for How to Stop Being Friends With Someone

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  • Question
    Is it okay to stop being friends with someone?
    Katie Styzek
    School Counselor
    Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    It is, but stay polite to the person since you never know if you'll want to be friends with them later on.
  • Question
    How do I get rid of someone that I don't want to be my friend?
    Katie Styzek
    School Counselor
    Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Slowly distance yourself from that person and ask other people to hang out with you so you can make new friends.
  • Question
    How do I get rid of a toxic friend that I don't like?
    Community Answer
    Tell him/her how you are feeling and move on, and do not look back. Of course, be polite and fair and don't hold a grudge, but do not let her/him come back into your life if they are causing you pain and grief. Let them know what you feel and have a long discussion about it all, and see if they are willing to move on. Even if they're not, don't let them dull your choice. It is your path, your life.
  • Question
    How do I stop being friends with someone without talking to them?
    Community Answer
    If the person knows why you don't want to be their friend anymore, then you can simply just move on with life. Obviously, if they try to ask you what they did wrong then tell them, but don't lash out at them. Over time, things will thin out and you both will find new friends.
  • Question
    How would you break a friendship when the person is threatening to tell on you if you do?
    Community Answer
    Tell on you? No one can force you to be friends with someone! In social environments, you have the ultimate freedom of choice. If you don't want to be friends with somebody, don't be afraid to dump them. If they end up "telling on you," and there is actual punishment involved, just serve your punishment and just continue to break the friendship.
  • Question
    How can I stop being clingy?
    Community Answer
    Try to distance yourself from the person you are clinging to. You can still talk to them, but try to limit how often you talk to them. If you talk to them several times a day, try limiting yourself to just once. Also, try to find some new hobbies as well that won't involve the person you are clinging to. It will help distract your mind and keep you busy.
  • Question
    I have a friend who's only a year younger than me, but she acts like she's five (so immature). How do I talk to her about this?
    Community Answer
    Tell her exactly how you feel about how she behaves, and ask her to behave more maturely. Be specific about what needs to change. If she's unable or unwilling to change, just start distancing yourself from her, don't take her calls and make excuses not to hang out. She'll get the message that you don't want to be friends anymore.
  • Question
    My friend and I have nothing in common anymore, and I want to end the friendship because she's clingy and rude to me and uses me for things I don't want to be involved in. How do I end it?
    Community Answer
    You can either slowly stop answering her calls/messages and stop spending so much time with her, or just tell her (nicely) how you feel. It sounds like you've given her a chance to be a good friend and it isn't working out. Feel free to give her an honest reason, "I don't think we should be friends anymore because I don't like the way you talk to me, and I don't like the way you bully me into doing things I don't want to do." Don't let her make you feel bad, you've made up your mind, so stick with your decision.
  • Question
    I want to stop being friends with someone that's being clingy and bossy. I try to hang out with other people in hopes that she will make friends with other people too but no one really likes her because she's mean, what do I do?
    Community Answer
    While "dumping" her, give her advice on how to make new friends. Don't make it dramatic or you could hurt her self-esteem. Point out (nicely) why you no longer want to friends. Leaving someone in the dust without explaining why may make them more clingy. Just be honest.
  • Question
    Someone told me once that they are scared to meet someone new and that I'm too nice to them. How can I let that person get closer to me?
    Community Answer
    Ease up a little on the affection. This person is probably under the impression that you're being nice so you can manipulate them. This assumption is often wrong, but sadly, it does happen, and that's why someone would be scared. Let the person understand that you really do care, take things easier for a bit.
  • Question
    I have this friend who thinks she's superior, is super competitive and makes me feel badly about myself. I don't want a relationship with her, but she's like nicotine, addictive. What do I do?
    ChristobelJoy
    Community Answer
    You just need to pull away. Block her if it's possible, stop talking, and if confronted just say that she wasn't good for you. A good friendship should bring out the best in you.
  • Question
    My friends talk about me behind my back. How can I end the friendships?
    Community Answer
    Stand up for yourself. Say that you are not going to be their friend if they are going to talk behind your back, and if they continue, just ignore and keep space between them. Make new friends and talk to others.
  • Question
    How can I fade out if I see her/him everyday?
    Community Answer
    Attempt to not talk to them as much, or if they are clingy or guilt tripping you, bring in a book to read and keep yourself occupied with other people. You can also keep your conversations simple.
  • Question
    How do I stop being friends with someone who is clingy?
    Community Answer
    Simply tell her you don't want to be friends anymore and be honest about the reason.
  • Question
    How do I get rid of a friend who is really needy and tells me all her problems without giving me the chance to talk as well?
    Community Answer
    This kind of a friend is actually not a friend. She is using you. You're not her therapist, and you should start distancing yourself from her, as it's very unlikely she'll change. Just stop returning her calls/texts and when you see her around, be polite and civil but don't make any commitments. If she starts trying to talk about her problems, calmly excuse yourself.
  • Question
    This friendship is demanding too much of my energy, but I'm wondering if that means I need to end it, or I need to work on myself (by improving my willingness to dedicate time and energy).
    Community Answer
    Think about what exactly is being demanded of you. Is it normal friendship stuff like someone to talk to, hang out with, etc., and you don't want to do these things? Or is this person constantly asking you for favors, bringing you down with their drama, and so forth? If that doesn't help, maybe try taking a break from the friendship. A little time away might give you a better perspective on what you want.
  • Question
    How can I end a friendship that I have ruined and no longer feel worthy of retaining?
    Community Answer
    Tell the person in question you do not want to be friends any longer because you feel undeserving of the friendship. In other words, be completely honest.
  • Question
    I want to get rid of my friends, they're mean and bossy. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Tell them that you have other friends with whom you want to spend some time now. Don't waste time making the change and just move on. They don't deserve much explanation given they've been mean to you.
  • Question
    How can I stop making friends in the first place?
    Community Answer
    Don't let people get drawn to you when talking to them. If it seems like someone is really interested in being friends with you, politely tell them that you aren't looking for friendships right now.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a friend who's a bully?
    Community Answer
    You should tell an adult that you trust right away. Make sure they know what she has done to bully you, so that the problem can be addressed.
  • Question
    I would like to leave my old group of friends. I always have to wonder whether they would talk to me or not and I'm tired of it. How do I make them take the hint without the drama?
    Community Answer
    If you want to leave the group you do not need to tell them that you are actually leaving. Just spend some more time with your new friend, they will eventually figure it out.
  • Question
    How can I stop being friends with someone who threatens to kill herself if I leave?
    Community Answer
    Tell her that you feel uncomfortable with her telling you things like that, and help her find new friends so you feel less trapped. It might be a good idea to tell an adult though. It sounds like your friend needs help.
  • Question
    I can't really stop feeling guilty. My friend says I am his best friend, and he doesn't have many other friends. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Well, then maybe you need to make a sacrifice. Continue to be friends with him, even if you'd rather not, simply because that's the kind thing to do. But don't feel obligated to hang out with him all the time...you'll end up having to lie or be insincere if you do.
  • Question
    How can I unfriend a girl in my class who is against abortions and for gun control?
    Community Answer
    If she's a good friend, maybe you could just agree to steer clear of these topics. If not, just tell her that her political beliefs are too different from yours, and you don't think the two of you are compatible as friends.
  • Question
    I have a little circle of friends. How do I stop being friends with one of them without the risk of losing the others?
    Community Answer
    That can be tricky. Try to end the friendship gracefully and with kindness.
  • Question
    How do I stop being friends with someone when they say they will leak my nudes if I end the friendship?
    Community Answer
    Stop being their friend anyway. Block and report them on social media. If you're underage, I recommend you tell your parents what's going on, or even an adult at school, and let this "friend" know that if they leak your nudes they will be charged with possessing child pornography.
  • Question
    How do you stop loving a person when you don't want stop?
    Community Answer
    If you don't want to stop, you don't have to. You can love someone and still accept that you can't be with them.
  • Question
    I want to break up with a friend who sits next to me on the bus every day. She's a good person, but I just don't like social interaction in the morning, and I find her annoying. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    SImply explain to her that you want to use your time on the bus differently. Try bringing a book to read or wearing headphones.
  • Question
    How can I stop being friends with someone who seems jealous of me, and was just using me for her personal needs?
    Community Answer
    Tell her how you feel, that you don't think she's a good friend because of the way she's treated you, and that you don't want to be friends anymore. You don't have to tell her you think she's jealous, just focus on the things she's definitely done or said to you.
  • Question
    I developed a cold during the half-term. My friend has been asking me every day to come around my house because I've kept saying it's not possible today. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Say no. Tell your friend that you're convalescing and want to be alone while you recover; that's all you need to say.
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