Q&A for How to Talk to People when You're Shy

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  • Question
    How do I make new friends when going to a new school?
    Community Answer
    Be friendly and brave. Talk to people who smile back at you.
  • Question
    How can I overcome being a shy person when I'm unable to say anything even after spending hours with a person?
    Community Answer
    You could try to build up your confidence slowly. Try it with close friends, family members, or someone else you feel very comfortable with, and practice having conversations with them. Then again, it could be only a few particular persons whom you feel overly shy with, like a crush, which is a completely different case. Another point to be made, is that if the other person you were sitting with for hours doesn’t make the first move into a conversation, it could be that: A) they don't want to have a conversation, B) they too are too shy to start talking as well, or C) they are perhaps busy.
  • Question
    How do I talk to girls when I'm shy?
    Community Answer
    Just talk to them like you would talk to any of your friends. Usually girls will keep talking if a conversation is started.
  • Question
    Why am I shy around people that I don't know?
    Community Answer
    Because there are a lot of uncertainties with people you don't know. You don't know what they are like, how they will react to things, whether they will like you, or what to talk to them about. It's always easier to talk to someone you already know and are comfortable with.
  • Question
    How do I become friends with someone if I'm shy?
    Community Answer
    First, don't feel bad about being shy. Try to smile at someone who is friendly and has a good attitude. Come up with conversation starters ahead of time so you won't get flustered when talking to someone.
  • Question
    How can I become more confident so I can maintain my close friendships?
    Community Answer
    Keep talking. The more you know your friends, the more comfortable you become. Then, you will eventually find yourself speaking more confidently.
  • Question
    How can I not be shy if I am in a new school?
    Community Answer
    If you are in a new school, relax. You won't be bullied. Just find some friends, find some similarities, and become friends. However, don't do it like you're desperate. Just do it, relaxed and calm.
  • Question
    How do I talk to a guy I have a crush on without being awkward?
    Community Answer
    Just talk to him as if he was any friend. It may be a bit hard, but you can do it! Ask him about school, his hobbies, things you know he's interested in, etc. Remember, he's just a person, like you, there's nothing to be afraid of.
  • Question
    Should I tell other people that I am shy?
    Community Answer
    You really don't have to, shyness usually becomes apparent through conversation with you. If a situation came up where it might have an impact, say a friend inviting you to a party where you wouldn't know a lot of people, you could explain, "I'm sorry, I don't enjoy that sort of thing, I'm too shy."
  • Question
    I like a boy, because he's cute and I secretly asked him out, but he got to know it's me. He has been ignoring me since that happened. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Try talking to him and act like his friend again. Don't rush things with him or you could make him feel uncomfortable.
  • Question
    Would it help me to practice talking to a family pet if I am very shy and even have trouble talking to family?
    Community Answer
    Sure. Pets are pretty safe, though, so move on to an actual person as soon as you feel even slightly ready.
  • Question
    I can't think of anything to say when I see people. Can you give me any advice on what to say?
    Community Answer
    Try observing what someone is into, for example if they like sports, talk about sports, or find a connection between you and them.
  • Question
    What if I keep getting approached by people who want to talk to me, but I have nothing to say?
    Community Answer
    I would suggest planning out things to say ahead of time. Maybe think up some questions people may ask you and write out and memorize appropriate replies, or just practice talking about common subjects like the weather, local sports, school/work, etc., either with a friend, or even by yourself. You can also ask these people about themselves, their day, etc. People like to talk about themselves.
  • Question
    I have just a few friends in my class. I am not shy with them, but I am shy with other classmates, teachers, and long distance relatives. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Try to branch out a little bit at a time. Ask a classmate you don't normally talk to what the homework was. Smile at a stranger and say hello. If you slowly begin to interact more with others, you will gain more confidence. Keep in mind that it's okay to be a little shy. You don't need to totally overhaul your personality, just put yourself out there a little more.
  • Question
    What should I say to people who greet me?
    Community Answer
    Just say hello and ask them how they're doing. It would also be a good idea to give them a genuine smile to make yourself look more friendly and inviting.
  • Question
    How do I chat with one friend while others are listening?
    Community Answer
    Like you would normally, just don't talk about anything private or anything negative about the people that are listening.
  • Question
    How can I overcome shyness and an inability to speak to my peers?
    Community Answer
    Think about what you’re going to say, and find other people who are shy like you. This way, you will start building up confidence.
  • Question
    I'm shy and an introvert. Why do I feel uncertain about what people will think about me, even though I'll probably never see them again in my life?
    Community Answer
    It may be a self-esteem issue. Sometimes when we don't think highly of ourselves, we think of other people as more important than we are and so worry about what they think more than we worry about our own feelings. You could likely benefit from a therapist who could help you get down to the reason you feel so poorly about yourself and help you adjust your perspective.
  • Question
    How do I tell my mom how I feel without being scared?
    Community Answer
    Your mom should be understanding. Remember, she was a kid once, and might have experience. Lean on your mom as somebody you can trust, and know she will always love you.
  • Question
    Should I be myself when I meet new people?
    Community Answer
    Of course, you should always be yourself. You want the people you meet to like you for you.
  • Question
    How can I talk to someone I got along with in school, but haven't seen for a while? People often tease us.
    Community Answer
    Just talk to him if you want to. Say something like, "Hey, we haven't talked in a while, I miss you. How have you been?" Don't worry about people teasing you. You shouldn't let the behavior of immature people bother you.
  • Question
    How do I talk to a family member I've never seen before when I'm shy?
    Community Answer
    It depends on who they are. Saying "Hi, how are you," and "It's nice to meet you" are pretty standard in that situation. If the person is older and you're a kid/teen, they will probably just ask you about school and you're interests, and all you have to do is politely answer their questions.
  • Question
    How do I start conversations with simple questions when I'm shy?
    Community Answer
    It can be hard. You feel like it’s the end of the world. But really, it’s just casual questions people ask every day. And maybe it wasn’t as bad as as you thought it would be. Gain confidence and try asking these questions once in a while. You will get better. You can start of slowly, then try talking more. But, don’t rush things, take it at a nice tempo for you; you can start off with a classmate, client or your neighbor.
  • Question
    There's a new kid at school and I’m not sure how to talk to them because I’m shy, but I was also the new kid before them. How do I go about that?
    Community Answer
    Try to slowly approach them, a smile or a wave goes a long way. After awhile, you’ll have the courage to talk to him/her. Figure out what they like and find common ground, that way it will be easier to start a conversation.
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm scared of talking to people?
    Community Answer
    It’s like a phobia. You need to conquer your fear at some point. I am a super shy in person, but online, I’m a totally different person. I try to find people i can talk to online, figure out what I would say to them, then use whatever I’ve learned on my own to talk to living humans. It’s awkward at first, but it’s better than thinking the worlds going to end at every word you say...
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