Q&A for How to Tell Someone You Lied

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How do you get someone to forgive you for lying?

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S
Licensed Professional Counselor
Rachel Eddins is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Executive Director of Eddins Counseling Group. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in working with clients with eating disorders, anxiety and depression, relationship issues, and career obstacles. Rachel earned a BA in Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin and an MEd in Counseling from The University of Houston. She received a Group Psychotherapist Certification from the American Group Psychotherapy Association and an Intuitive Eating Counselor Certification through Intuitive Eating Pros. She is also recognized as a Master Career Counselor through the National Career Development Association.

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Apologize for your dishonesty with sincerity, but keep in mind that doesn’t mean the other person can’t still be upset or will forgive you. They are also entitled to their feelings.

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Question

Is it best to come clean about a lie?

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S
Licensed Professional Counselor
Rachel Eddins is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Executive Director of Eddins Counseling Group. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in working with clients with eating disorders, anxiety and depression, relationship issues, and career obstacles. Rachel earned a BA in Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin and an MEd in Counseling from The University of Houston. She received a Group Psychotherapist Certification from the American Group Psychotherapy Association and an Intuitive Eating Counselor Certification through Intuitive Eating Pros. She is also recognized as a Master Career Counselor through the National Career Development Association.

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

It depends. You gotta be honest with yourself first. Remember that lies erode trust, so it’s important to recognize the impact of your lie on others. What could this cost you? What were you afraid of in telling the truth? With this in mind, you can make a decision.

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Question

What should I do if I prank a friend, but then it turns into a lie? Is it right to tell the truth or leave it?

Community Answer

Own up quickly to get it over and done with. Explain that it was a prank gone wrong and that you're very sorry it turned out this way.

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I had a short affair with a guy 5 years ago. My boyfriend knows a little about it, but he wants to hear it from me. Should I confess to him? Our decision about marriage may depend on what I do here.

Community Answer

If you really care about him and want to have a good and happy future with him, be honest with him. If he really loves you, you can work through your past and move on.

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What do I do if I lied to my mom about something I did a couple of years ago, and she believed me over someone else who is actually telling the truth? It would be really embarrassing if I admitted what actually happened.

Community Answer

You could tell her about it in a letter or tell her directly. Tell her that the lie has stayed with you and troubled your conscience, and that you just had to make it right with her. Apologize, sincerely, and ask for her forgiveness. You may be surprised at how she responds. You may also want to consider confessing to the other person involved, if that person was hurt by your deception.

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Question

I lied to someone I'm just getting to know about my age and the fact that I have kids, I don't want to lose this person, what should I do?

Community Answer

They are going to find out eventually, the best thing is to be honest and straightforward now. Apologize for lying, ask for forgiveness, and tell them that if they need time to process it, you will be patient.

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Question

How do I apologize for lying to my friend?

Community Answer

Look them in the eye and make sure that they know you are sorry. Don't do it again.

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Question

I've had chances to tell the truth more than once and I keep telling a little of the truth but I can't seem to tell it all. I'm afraid if I do tell it all, he won't want to be with me because he will think I'm a liar. What should I do?

Community Answer

Everyone deserves the truth; follow your heart and do the right thing. You can't control how the other person is going to respond, but you can control yourself. Come clean, ask for understanding and forgiveness, and learn from your mistakes.

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Question

How do I tell my parents I lied about my grades?

Community Answer

Work up some tears and confess. Tell them you were really worried how they would react and that you were terrified of disappointing them. Parents love to hear this stuff.

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Question

How do I tell my mom that I lied when she had evidence the whole time?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

If she has evidence, she already knows. Even without evidence, moms always know. Time to confess. Just be direct and honest about it and say you're sorry.

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Question

My grandchild is a frequent liar. How do I let her know I have caught her in a lie?

Community Answer

Casually bring up the wrongs of lying to see if she will feel guilty and confess. That will help her know to never do it again. You can also confront her and say something like "I know you lied about ____ and it's not right to lie. You should apologize," or something like that. Sometimes just confronting her can ease the tension between you both.

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Question

How can I admit to somebody that I am depressed (reason for lying) without causing worry?

Community Answer

Say it in a calm voice, as if everything's alright, but not really. Make sure they're in a okay mood to talk to when you tell them this, or else supposed your friend was sad, they may get more depressed/sad because of their mood. So be gentle, and explain why you are depressed as well, they could help you get better.

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Question

What do I do if I lied to someone I cared for about a little thing?

Community Answer

If it really is a little thing that will not harm them are sadden them or others in any way then it is a white lie and you don't have to admit it. if you think it is a harmful lie you should admit it and apologize for your actions. If it is just a white lie but you feel guilty you should admit it and apologize too since living with guilt is not good but if it's just a small unimportant lie than you need not feel guilty.

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Question

I kinda lied to my mom and dad that I didn't get hurt, but told my auntie instead. I didn't tell them because we're in financial soup and buying medicines is hard for us. What should I do?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

There's nothing to be ashamed of here. If you got hurt, and need help, you need help. Simple. Your health is the most important thing you have. Leave the financial worries to your parents. But tell them what happened, it will be OK.

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Question

My parents looked throughout my accounts -- what do I do?

Community Answer

First, don't worry. Just go and talk to them. If they went through your personal messages, tell them that you need privacy and assure them that you are doing nothing wrong. Second, ask for a chat. You can solve things and make everything less uncomfortable only by communicating with your parents.

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Question

I lied to my boyfriend about my past. What can I do?

Community Answer

You could tell him you were scared to tell him about it because you thought he was going to be mad, and tell him the truth about your past.

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Question

What do I do if I lied about a friend, but in a beneficial way?

Community Answer

Depends if it is affecting someone else in a negative way. If it's not, I wouldn't stress it. If it is, and if it really affects something negatively, you should admit what you did.

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Question

What should I do if I lied to my parents about a serious issue? How do I tell them?

Community Answer

Sit them down at a good time to talk and just come clean. They may be mad at first, but they will appreciate your honesty.

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Question

How do I tell someone on the internet I lied about where I'm from?

Community Answer

Just tell them you were nervous and you are sorry. If they stop talking to you, you can't really do anything about it.

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Question

I am depressed that I told a lie. What should I do? I haven't told that I lied.

Community Answer

Tell the person as soon as you can. Telling the truth from then on will help you regain that person's trust.

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Question

I lied to my parents. They almost found out but didn't, and now I feel guilty for not telling the whole truth. What should I do?

Meredith Barber

Community Answer

Tell them the truth. The best choice is always to tell the truth, and most likely, they will appreciate you being honest.

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Question

How can I admit I lied to a friend when I feel really embarrassed?

Community Answer

Everybody gets embarrassed sometimes. If he/she is a good friend, they won't try to make you feel bad about whatever happened. Just come clean, apologize, and explain why you lied. You'll feel a little embarrassed, but you'll get over it.

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I lied to my aunt and uncle and know they are mad at me. What should I do?

Community Answer

Give them space and time to think about what you have done and eventually, they will come around to you.

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Question

How do I tell a boy I lied to him just to get his number?

Community Answer

If it's a funny story, just try to laugh it off. He might just find it flattering. If it's serious, just apologize and come clean. Get it over with quickly so it doesn't look like you've been keeping something from him for a long time.

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Question

What should I do if they don't forgive me?

Community Answer

Say that you understand their answer and respect their decision. Don't get mad or upset about it; just walk away calmly.

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Question

I told my parents my exam had been marked incorrectly. It was a lie. I confessed it to my mom and she told me I now have to tell my dad. How can I do it?

Community Answer

Just do it the same way you told your mom. Get it over with quickly, though.

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Question

My boyfriend thinks I'm the same age as him, I'm actually a year older than him. This may not seem much, but we're in our 50s. Does it matter?

Community Answer

It doesn't matter. Feel free to tell him the truth or just carry on with the white lie. If he's the kind of guy who would get very upset over a one year age difference, he's probably not a very good boyfriend.

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Question

I lied about someone and accused them falsely, but they don't know yet. How can I reverse everything without hurting anybody?

Community Answer

I've been in this situation before as well. The best thing to do is tell everyone you told that the rumors were false. Apologize, and then tell the person you falsely accused what you did, your reason for doing it (without making excuses), and how sorry you are.

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Question

I've lied to my partner before, and now about losing my job. I've been warned the relationship will be over if I lied again. What should I do?

Community Answer

Sort out your reasons for keeping this from your partner on paper first. Then you and your significant other should sit down and talk about what happened. If your relationship ends anyway as a result of this, hopefully you've learned a lesson about the importance of honesty.

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Question

I lied to all my friends about wanting to cut for attention. The lie is eating me up and I am unable to move on. What do I do?

Community Answer

Come clean. Simply say, "I said I wanted to cut myself, but really I don't. I felt unimportant at the time, and now I see that was totally wrong, and I'll never do something like that again."

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