Q&A for How to Tell a Girl You Like Her

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  • Question
    How can I be more confident when dating?
    JT Tran
    Dating Coach
    JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    To build confidence, especially when going on first dates, make yourself feel good mentally as well as physically. Physically, the act of putting on a really nice suit, practicing good personal hygiene, and getting some exercise can make you feel excited and pumped for your date. If you're still nervous, try to reframe how you see the date. Associate your date with a positive experience and try to be grateful for the opportunity.
  • Question
    How can I know if she is too shy to talk with me?
    Community Answer
    Just keep being friendly to her. Shy girls need time before they open up to others.
  • Question
    What if I am too scared to tell her?
    Community Answer
    Tell her later or wait until you are ready, then walk away. If you can't then write a note to her so that nobody knows. She probably won't tell anyone.
  • Question
    What if the girl does not give me an answer?
    Community Answer
    If she said she's not sure and asked you to wait while she figures out how she feels, try to be patient and wait. If she doesn't answer you at all or say anything about not being sure, she's not interested and she's trying to avoid being rude or hurting your feelings.
  • Question
    How could I get her alone to tell her?
    Community Answer
    You could ask her to meet you after school for a science project, or something like that.
  • Question
    I messed up! I asked the girl I like if she liked me or not. But I still think she might like me. What do I do now?
    Community Answer
    Do you mean you asked her if she liked you and she said no? If so, just assume she's telling the truth, even if you suspect she might not be. You don't have to give up hope, though. Just don't come on too strong. Try to get to know her better as a friend. If you start spending more time with her and you're nice to her, she'll be more likely to develop romantic feelings for you.
  • Question
    What do I do if I have just recently met her? I like her, and it feels like we have known each other for a while.
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    That's a good sign! If you two don't know each other very well, you might want to wait a little longer before telling her you like her. Focus on building a friendship with a strong connection before you confess your feelings.
  • Question
    The girl I like recently got out of a toxic relationship and we have gotten really close because I've been there for her. Should I ask her out now or just wait?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    It depends on how she's feeling. If her relationship was super toxic, she might not want to get involved with anyone else for a while. If it's only been a few weeks (or even a few months) since she got out of her relationship, she might need you to just be a supportive friend.
  • Question
    I have a crush on someone in my class but whenever I see her she's with her friends. How can I get some alone time with her without sounding weird in front of her and her friends?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    Since you two have class together, try asking her for help on the homework. Or, offer to help her study for the next test. That way, you two can hang out one on one, and it won't be a weird request.
  • Question
    What if I like my friend's sister but we don't know each other well?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    If you don't know each other too well, focus on becoming friends first. Ask her to hang out with you one on one, but don't make it sound like a date. As you two get to know each other more, you can tell her about your feelings.
  • Question
    How do I tell a girl I like her over text?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    If you can, it's always better to try to tell her in person. It'll give you a chance to gauge her reaction and it'll make you look more confident and sincere. However, if you can't meet up in person, or if you're really shy, you can send her a text. Try keeping it light and casual. Start up a normal conversation and once she seems to be actively responding, tell her how you feel. You could say something like, "I really like you and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out sometime." Straightforward and direct is always the way to go.
  • Question
    How do I tell my crush I like her?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    There are a bunch of different ways you could tell her, but if you want to try to be extra romantic, consider writing her a sweet note. Take some time to describe how you feel about her and add a few compliments to make her feel good about reading it. Try dropping it in her locker or passing it to her when you see her. If she likes you back, she might tell you how she feels or write you a love note in response! Writing a note also allows you to take some time to pick and choose your words so you can say exactly how you feel.
  • Question
    How do you tell if a girl has a crush on you?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    It can seem tricky, but there are few simple things you can try to find out for sure if she likes you. It may seem like a no-brainer, but the simplest way is to just ask her. If she's been giving you signals that she might be into you, try asking her if she has feelings for you. Of course, she may feel nervous and may hesitate, but if you tell her that you like her or tell her that it's okay, she may feel more confident and tell you how she feels about you. If she doesn't have feelings for you, she might just say so, which is no big deal. You could also try asking her friends if she has feelings for you. They may be willing to give you the lowdown on whether or not she has a crush on you.
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