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How can I be likable and not annoying?

Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Sirvart Mesrobian is a Clinical Psychologist based in West Los Angeles and Glendale, California. With over nine years of professional and research experience, Dr. Mesrobian specializes in individual, family, and couples treatment for young adults and adults. Dr. Mesrobian provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, motivational interviewing, trauma-focused treatments, and other services. She earned a Master's in Psychology and a Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.

Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

It's important to be open and accepting of others! Acting closed-off can make you seem judgmental, which prevents people from wanting to spend any time with you.

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Question

Why are friends rude sometimes?

Kate Griffin

Community Answer

It is impossible to read the minds of other people. If a person is blatantly ignorant or hateful, that is one thing. But subtle social slights or confusing rudeness is frustrating, and ultimately the best thing to do is to not take it personally. Make a mental note of what happened, and if you notice a pattern, it might show what causes that person to be rude. It also could help you to realize they are not a good friend. In general, though, people being rude is sometimes unavoidable and usually not worth worrying about. Instead, try to be a kind, direct, and conscientious person, so that you can rest assured that your behavior is not rude or prompting particular rudeness in others.

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Question

I talk A LOT. I can’t even remember most of the things I say. Most people say I’m just chatty, but what if it’s annoying? And how can I tell if I’m over sharing?

cristofer harry

Community Answer

It's great that you are reflecting on your communication style and how it may impact those around you. If you feel like you talk a lot and have trouble remembering what you say, it may be helpful to take a step back and try to be more mindful of your words. One way to do this is to practice active listening, which involves paying attention to what others are saying and taking the time to understand their perspective. As for over-sharing, it's important to be aware of the context and audience of your conversations.

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Question

Why does no guy ever like me back?

Community Answer

Probably because they don't feel the same way as you. This is quite common. A guy will like you back one day. You just haven't met him yet.

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Question

I lack a sense of humor and am very bad at making jokes. People don't laugh or find them funny. Can you please tell me some ways to improve my sense of humor?

Community Answer

Tell jokes that you have seen on TV or YouTube. If that doesn't work, get a book of jokes.

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Question

I’m always nice to my friend, but I only get bullied back from her. I stand up for her or buy her water when she doesn’t have any, but she is just mean back and doesn’t seem to care.

Audrey

Community Answer

She doesn't sound like a good person to be friends with. Give her a chance to change her behaviour. If she doesn't change, you need to end this friendship.

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Question

Is saying stuff like "I got an A on my test" bragging?

Aria Quinn

Community Answer

It's not bragging if the other person asks what you got. Don't bring it up randomly though. If you want to tell the other person what you got but they haven't asked, ask them what they got, and they might ask you back

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I've always done things on my own. Am I unlikable? From elementary to college I've never been included in any circles. In elementary during sports period I was always on my own.

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Community Answer

You may be confusing “independence” with being “stand-offish” or even just shy and only “appear” to be stand-offish; and all three of these traits can be VERY different! If you are just shy, try to find different ways to get out of your comfort zone. If you feel that you might be perceived as stand-offish, try several ways to “open” your body language towards others; it can demonstrate that you’re just “actively listening” within a small group!

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Question

How do I respectfully tell someone that they are oversharing?

Community Answer

Tell them in a gentle tone of voice that you don't need that much information about them.

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