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Is He the One?

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You look over at your man and think: is our love temporary, or is he the one? Will this be the guy you share your life with—or just another boyfriend?

The truth is, you’ve probably collected all the clues you need already. If you look closely at your relationship, the answer might be clearer than you’d think. Ready to find out if you’re dating your soulmate? Click “Start Quiz” now.

Sitting at a cafe table, a woman hugs a man from behind and touches his face with hers as they both smile.

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Questions Overview

1. How long have you been together?
  1. Just a couple months, but it feels like longer.
  2. We just got together.
  3. 6 months to 1 year.
  4. More than a year.
2. How do you feel when you’re around each other?
  1. Sometimes great, sometimes awful.
  2. Excited, but I’m still a little nervous around him.
  3. Happy.
  4. Safe, peaceful, and loved.
3. What do your friends think?
  1. They wish he treated me better.
  2. They aren’t sure about him yet.
  3. They like him.
  4. They absolutely love him for me—and he loves my friends, too.
4. Do your values align well?
  1. Not really…we disagree on what’s most important in life.
  2. I don’t know, we haven’t talked about it yet.
  3. For the most part, yes. We don’t line up on everything though.
  4. 100%. We’re compatible on a super deep level.
5. What does your gut tell you?
  1. I care about him, but he’s not giving me what I deserve.
  2. He seems great, but I don’t have all the info yet.
  3. He’s so amazing, but I need more time to decide.
  4. He feels like home to me—I think this is the real deal.
6. How do your arguments go?
  1. They get toxic fast—yelling, manipulation, you name it.
  2. We haven’t fought yet.
  3. We might say a few things we don’t mean, but we bounce back eventually.
  4. Even when we disagree, we try to stay on the same team. We both just want the other to be happy.
7. Does he let you be yourself?
  1. Not really. I feel sort of on edge around him, and he tries to change me.
  2. I’m still on my best behavior around him.
  3. Usually—he’s pretty understanding, but I don’t know if he totally accepts me.
  4. Yes. I’ve never dated someone who seemed to love me so completely, even my flaws.
8. How does he support you when you’re down?
  1. He doesn’t unless he wants something in return.
  2. We haven’t been through anything heavy together yet.
  3. He’ll usually offer a sweet gesture, like a hug or a treat.
  4. It’s like magic—somehow, he always knows what to do to ease my pain.
9. Do you like who he is now or are you in love with his potential?
  1. I’m definitely hoping that he’ll start treating me better.
  2. I don’t know him well enough to say for sure yet.
  3. I love him, but part of me hopes he’ll become a better partner over time.
  4. I love him exactly as he is—faults and all.
10. Do you two chat about the future?
  1. Sometimes, but I feel like he’s just telling me what I want to hear.
  2. No, and to be honest, I’m not ready for those discussions yet.
  3. There have been little comments here and there, but no major conversations.
  4. Yep, we’ve discussed our plans for years down the line.
11. How has your relationship changed you?
  1. Honestly, it’s made me feel stressed—like I’m going crazy.
  2. I don’t think it’s changed me at all at this point.
  3. It’s made me happier and he’s exposed me to new things.
  4. My self-confidence has skyrocketed. I feel like the best version of myself.
12. Can you trust him to tell you the truth and treat you well?
  1. Definitely not.
  2. I don’t have any reason not to trust him I guess.
  3. Usually, but I might not have 100% faith in him.
  4. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. I can definitely trust him.

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Do you two trust each other completely? Are you committed to your partner\u2019s happiness, not to winning the next argument? Sometimes, we think that true love means super intense, emotional highs. But in reality, love is all about consistent feelings of safety, security, kindness, and nurturance. If you\u2019re not sure your relationship is hitting all the marks yet, it might be time to communicate, regroup, and work together to improve your dynamic. To get started, try out the guides linked below.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fix-a-Toxic-Relationship"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Have a Healthy Relationship","id":911760,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship-Step-14-Version-5.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Have-a-Healthy-Relationship-Step-14-Version-5.jpg","alt":"How to Have a Healthy Relationship"},{"title":"How to Fix a Toxic Relationship","id":10159974,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fix-a-Toxic-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5d\/Fix-a-Toxic-Relationship-Step-27.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Fix-a-Toxic-Relationship-Step-27.jpg","alt":"How to Fix a Toxic Relationship"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"Give it time\u2014it\u2019s too soon to tell.","meaning":"He seems amazing, he\u2019s so sweet, and he\u2019s giving you all the butterflies. You\u2019ve found someone great! But the truth is, you deserve more than just someone awesome\u2014you deserve someone who\u2019s deeply compatible with you. So before you decide your new man is \u201cThe One,\u201d you\u2019ll need to give it more time and see what the future holds.Love is about more than just sweet dates and silly jokes. You want someone whose values align with yours, who you fight fair with, and who you can trust to stick around in the tough times. Before you\u2019ve seen your relationship in every light, you might not know if he\u2019s the one. Our advice? Enjoy the ride, keep working to support your beau, and let the mystery unravel naturally. For now, enjoy your relationship for what it is\u2014and if he\u2019s the one, you\u2019ll know in time!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fall-in-Love"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Good-Weeknight-Date-Ideas"}],"link_data":[{"title":"A Complete Guide to Falling In Love & Building Your Connection Over Time","id":371143,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Fall-in-Love","image":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/80\/Fall-in-Love-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Fall-in-Love-Step-17-Version-2.jpg","alt":"A Complete Guide to Falling In Love & Building Your Connection Over Time"},{"title":"Good Weeknight Date Ideas","id":13308218,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Good-Weeknight-Date-Ideas","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/0e\/Good-Weeknight-Date-Ideas-Step-17.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Good-Weeknight-Date-Ideas-Step-17.jpg","alt":"Good Weeknight Date Ideas"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"He could be the one.","meaning":"Your love is the real deal. You two are committed and compatible, and that\u2019s amazing. For the most part, you fight fair, love deeply, and support each other in the good times and bad. You two may still have some room to grow though, and we get the sense that even though you know you have something special, you\u2019re not 100% convinced that he\u2019s the one.And that\u2019s okay! There are so many reasons that this might be the case. Maybe you\u2019re not someone who feels totally sure of anything, maybe you don\u2019t believe in soulmates. On the other hand, maybe you feel like you still need more time to be sure, and that\u2019s natural too. For you, it might make more sense to just enjoy the love you have, work to create the relationship you want, and for now, go with the flow.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Over-Thinking-in-a-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Create-Your-Ideal-Relationship"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Over Thinking in a Relationship","id":1522851,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Over-Thinking-in-a-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Stop-Over-Thinking-in-a-Relationship-Step-18.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Over-Thinking-in-a-Relationship-Step-18.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Over Thinking in a Relationship"},{"title":"How to Create Your Ideal Relationship","id":1952626,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Create-Your-Ideal-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2f\/Maintain-Your-Relationship-After-a-Diabetes-Diagnosis-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Maintain-Your-Relationship-After-a-Diabetes-Diagnosis-Step-6.jpg","alt":"How to Create Your Ideal Relationship"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"He\u2019s definitely the one.","meaning":"You\u2019ve got it all. Trust, compatibility, connection, and kindness\u2014plus, he still totally gives you butterflies. This guy makes you feel safe, and you know he\u2019ll stick around when it really counts. You don\u2019t know if it\u2019s telepathy, magic, or something else entirely, but you know one thing\u2019s for sure: he knows exactly how to love you.How exciting! You two are a perfect match, and if we had to guess, it seems like you\u2019ve found the one. This could be a long-haul romance, so it\u2019s worth your care, attention, and a gentle touch. Our advice? Show appreciation for him, communicate openly, and take care of yourself, too. You two have something beautiful on your hands, so now it\u2019s time to nurture that (and enjoy the ride!).","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Long-Term-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Show-Someone-You-Love-Them"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Have a Long Term Relationship","id":18965,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Long-Term-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/74\/Have-a-Long-Term-Relationship-Step-17-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Have-a-Long-Term-Relationship-Step-17-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Have a Long Term Relationship"},{"title":"How to Show Someone You Love Them","id":1472824,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Show-Someone-You-Love-Them","image":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/49\/Show-Someone-You-Love-Them-Step-24-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Show-Someone-You-Love-Them-Step-24-Version-4.jpg","alt":"How to Show Someone You Love Them"}],"minimum":0}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Should<\/picture>","alt":"Should We Break Up Quiz"},{"title":"Have I Met My Twin Flame Quiz","id":13657224,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Twin-Flame-Test","image":"\"Twin<\/picture>","alt":"Have I Met My Twin Flame Quiz"},{"title":"Couple Compatibility Test","id":13816755,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Couple-Compatibility-Test","image":"\"Couple<\/picture>","alt":"Couple Compatibility Test"}],"number":1},{"text":"I feel ok now. 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Understanding True Love: Soulmates & “Second Halves”

Is just one person the one? “Soulmates” are rooted in ancient philosophy. The idea is that somewhere out there, one person’s soul is a perfect match for yours. And when you two are united, you’ll become whole, together. Soulmates are all about romantic fate and they promise personal fulfillment through true love—but whether or not soulmates exist can’t be proven.

Some people swear by their “second half,” and others feel certain that there’s more than one person for everyone. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide where you fall.

The problem with “soulmate” ideology: Over the years, “soulmates” have been criticized by notable names in philosophy. Plato, for instance, says that we shouldn’t rely on someone else to complete us in life. After all, to assume a person’s fragmented until they find that special someone—that’s a pretty limiting idea. In fact, relationship experts typically say the opposite; the more independent and confident you are in yourself alone, the happier you tend to be in romance.

Co-creating your dream relationship: It might make sense to adopt a more flexible perspective on finding and maintaining love. Maybe soulmates are more forged than discovered. You can find someone amazing, but then, the relationship that follows is built through hard work and commitment. Ending up with “the one” might take a little work—open dialogue, active appreciation, and genuine respect. Deciding that true love doesn’t just happen to you, but is something you make happen gives you control over your own destiny. Once you’ve found someone who makes you feel all the feels, how can you create that next-level romance? Try these tips below:

Communication. Make open dialogue a norm in your relationship. When you discuss important feelings or events with your partner, remember that you’re on the same team, working to improve the same partnership. Avoid name-calling and intentional hurt; aim to find a compromise, no matter the situation.

Trust. Set boundaries and norms in your relationship and then hold them sacred. Trust is the bedrock of any healthy partnership. Strive to be an honest and faithful partner, and if you do break each other’s trust, take the healing process seriously.

Connection. Intimacy is key to romance, so even when things get busy, you should always prioritize your time together. Plan exciting dates, surprise each other, and if it’s important to both of you, maintain your physical connection too. Especially in long-term relationships, put in effort to keep the spark alive.

Support. In a healthy relationship, your partner should bring you closer to your ideal life and self—not distract you from it. The most satisfying relationships allow room for mutual growth, so be sure to encourage your partner’s individual goals and dreams.

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