Am I In a Situationship?

Take this quiz to get a read on your relationship!

Ever find yourself looking at that special someone and wondering, “What are we?” You might be in a situationship, and we’re here to help you figure that out!

Just answer these 12 quick questions, and we’ll tell you where you stand. Of course, we don’t know you or your situation personally, but we can help you get a read on your romance and figure out your next steps!

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Questions Overview

1. If someone were to ask you if you're single right now, what would you say?
  1. I'm not sure what I'd say.
  2. I'm seeing someone, but it’s not exclusive.
  3. I am single.
  4. No, I'm not single. I have a partner.
2. Do you feel confused about what the relationship is, or worry about defining the relationship?
  1. Yes, I have no idea what to call the relationship! Or if it’s even a “relationship.”
  2. I don’t really worry about putting labels on anything. We’re just having fun!
  3. We’re definitely together, but sometimes I do wonder what “together” even means…
  4. Nah, I’m confident that we’re in a committed relationship, and don’t ever worry about what to call it.
3. Do you ever talk about the future with each other?
  1. No, not really.
  2. Sometimes, but only vaguely.
  3. Yes, but our visions for the future don't really align.
  4. Yes, and we talk about being together in the future.
4. Have you met their friends or family? And have they met yours?
  1. No, neither of us has met each other's friends or family.
  2. I've met their circle, but they haven't met mine.
  3. They've met my circle, but I haven't met theirs.
  4. Yes, we've both met each other's friends and family.
5. Do either of you also see other people?
  1. I'm not sure.
  2. Yes, and we both like it that way!
  3. Only one of us sees other people.
  4. No, we're exclusive.
6. How long have you been seeing each other?
  1. Less than 6 months
  2. 6 months - 1 year
  3. 1 year - 2 years
  4. 2+ years
7. How often do you see them?
  1. It's not really consistent. For some stretches of time, I see them often. Then for other stretches, I hardly ever see them.
  2. About 1-2 times a week.
  3. About 1-2 times a month.
  4. About every day.
8. Is your relationship more physical or emotional?
  1. I'm not sure. It's hard to say.
  2. More physical. We touch and kiss, but don't really talk about emotional things.
  3. More emotional. We talk about personal things, but don't really touch or kiss.
  4. A mix of both. We touch, kiss, and often talk about personal things.
9. Do you go to events together, like parties, weddings, or other important celebrations?
  1. Sometimes, but mostly casual things like parties. Not anything like a wedding.
  2. No, we never go to events together.
  3. Yes, but we don't really go as "a couple." We're just... together.
  4. Yes, we're always each other's plus one!
10. Are you still on dating apps?
  1. Yes, I still browse apps like Tinder or Hinge, and they don't know.
  2. Yes, but they know I am, and don't really care.
  3. No, but I've never been on dating apps.
  4. No, I'm not on dating apps anymore.
11. Do you post about each other on social media?
  1. No, we don't post about each other.
  2. I post about them, but I keep it vague. No names or photos or anything.
  3. I don't really have social media.
  4. Yes, and we tag each other or post pictures together.
12. Have they ever said they wanted a serious relationship?
  1. No, and they said they mostly want something casual.
  2. I'm not sure, or I don't remember.
  3. No, they've never said what they want.
  4. Yes, they've said that before.

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Good news, though: you've got a few options! First is to just ride it out and say, \"It is what it is.\" Maybe it'll clarify in time, but maybe it won't, and you'll just focus on enjoying it.

Your second option is to ask that classic question: \"What are we?\" Pop it during a quiet, content moment, and make sure there's no real pressure by saying something like, \"I was just wondering if we wanted to define this relationship.\" If they say they don't want to put a label on it, then there's your answer: you're in a situationship. But they might agree to talk it out, in which case, you'll discover where you stand!

Last, you could break it off altogether. It's not the most fun option, but if you need clarity or commitment, it might be the best option. If you wait around for them to commit, you might be waiting for quite a while, if not forever, and there are plenty of other people out there who want something more than a situationship with you\u2014take it from us.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-a-Situationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/End-a-Situationship"}],"link_data":[{"title":"Are You In a Situationship? What It Is & What to Do","id":13784424,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-a-Situationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/What-Is-a-Situationship-Step-17.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-What-Is-a-Situationship-Step-17.jpg","alt":"Are You In a Situationship? What It Is & What to Do"},{"title":"How to Get Out of a Situationship When It's Not Working for You","id":14366580,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/End-a-Situationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/58\/End-a-Situationship-Step-21.jpeg\/-crop-200-200-200px-End-a-Situationship-Step-21.jpeg","alt":"How to Get Out of a Situationship When It's Not Working for You"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"You might be in a situationship.","meaning":"We peer into our crystal ball and see...er, something? Based on your results, it's hard to say for sure whether or not you're in a situationship, probably because your relationship is a little unconventional. Maybe you're not totally committed, but still see each other regularly and care for each other. Maybe you feel very committed, but don't do things other couples do, like hang out in public or appear at events together. Whatever it is, your relationship might be missing that special ingredient that makes it look \"official.\" And that's okay, so long as you're okay with it! Not every committed relationship has to look the same.

But if you want something more, or to put a label on things, you've got a few options! First is to just ride it out and say, \"It is what it is.\" Maybe it'll clarify in time, but maybe it won't, and you'll just focus on enjoying it.

Your second option is to ask that classic question: \"What are we?\" Pop it during a quiet, content moment, and make sure there's no real pressure by saying something like, \"I was just wondering if we wanted to define this relationship.\" If they say they don't want to put a label on it, then there's your answer: you're in a situationship. But they might agree to talk it out, in which case, you'll discover where you stand!

Last, you could break it off altogether. It's not the most fun option, but if you need clarity or commitment, it might be the best option. If you wait around for them to commit, you might be waiting for quite a while, if not forever, and there are plenty of other people out there who want something more than a situationship with you\u2014take it from us.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-a-Situationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Situationship-Red-Flags"}],"link_data":[{"title":"Are You In a Situationship? What It Is & What to Do","id":13784424,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-a-Situationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/What-Is-a-Situationship-Step-17.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-What-Is-a-Situationship-Step-17.jpg","alt":"Are You In a Situationship? What It Is & What to Do"},{"title":"How to Identify Red Flags in a Situationship and When You Should Move On","id":13447622,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Situationship-Red-Flags","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d8\/Situationship-Red-Flags-Step-12.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Situationship-Red-Flags-Step-12.jpg","alt":"How to Identify Red Flags in a Situationship and When You Should Move On"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"You're probably not in a situationship.","meaning":"Based on your answers, it seems like you're going steady in a nice, traditional romantic relationship! You're close partners who aren't seeing other people (unless that's something you've agreed to do explicitly). You regularly talk about the future together, and include each other in your future plans. You rarely, if ever, doubt their affection and commitment, and you've let each other into the more personal parts of your lives, like meeting each other's friends and family or having those deep, intimate discussions about yourselves.

Of course, if you're taking this quiz, you probably haven't defined the relationship explicitly, so now's probably the time! Choose a quiet moment where both of you are content, and say something like, \"Hey, I really care about you, and want to know where we're headed. Are we committed?\" From your responses, it sounds like the answer is \"Yes!\"","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Your-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-a-Situationship"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Define Your Relationship","id":9339756,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Define-Your-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/9d\/Define-Your-Relationship-Step-13.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Define-Your-Relationship-Step-13.jpg","alt":"How to Define Your Relationship"},{"title":"Are You In a Situationship? What It Is & What to Do","id":13784424,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Is-a-Situationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/What-Is-a-Situationship-Step-17.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-What-Is-a-Situationship-Step-17.jpg","alt":"Are You In a Situationship? What It Is & What to Do"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Is<\/picture>","alt":"Is He the One Quiz"},{"title":"Relationship Anxiety Test","id":13804388,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Relationship-Anxiety-Test","image":"\"Relationship<\/picture>","alt":"Relationship Anxiety Test"},{"title":"Couple Compatibility Test","id":13816755,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Couple-Compatibility-Test","image":"\"Couple<\/picture>","alt":"Couple Compatibility Test"}],"number":1},{"text":"No. I want to learn more about what makes me tick, instead.","result":"Totally! Check out these fun personality tests:","next_quizzes":[{"title":"What's Your Red Flag Quiz","id":13203021,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/What%27s-Your-Red-Flag-Quiz","image":"\"What's<\/picture>","alt":"What's Your Red Flag Quiz"},{"title":"How Innocent Am I Quiz","id":14121962,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Innocence-Test","image":"\"Innocence<\/picture>","alt":"How Innocent Am I Quiz"},{"title":"How Big Is My Ego Quiz","id":13920175,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/How-Big-Is-Your-Ego","image":"\"How<\/picture>","alt":"How Big Is My Ego Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

All About Situationships

What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is a sort of undefined romantic relationship. You’re not partners or dating, but you’re definitely more than friends. You might be friends with benefits, except you haven’t really talked about the boundaries that come with that sort of relationship. You also don’t know if you should still be seeing other people, or if you have a future together. It’s like relationship purgatory. The romantic gray area. The situationship!

Signs You’re In a Situationship

  • You haven’t put a label on the relationship.
  • You’re not really sure if you’re still single.
  • You don’t really feel like you can confide in them.
  • Your communication is inconsistent.
  • They’re not your plus-one to big events.
  • There are other romantic interests still in the mix.
  • You haven’t met each other’s family or friends.
  • You’re not really intimate in public.
  • You don’t talk about your future together.
  • They say they’re not looking for anything serious.

What to Do if You’re In a Situationship
If a situationship is, by definition, a hazy gray area in a romance, then the best thing to do is to communicate and be open and honest. That way, you’ll know exactly where you stand, and where to go from there.

Find a quiet moment where you’re both in a good headspace, then pop the question. Be gentle and patient. Say something like, “I really care about you and want to spend more time with you, but I’m not sure what sort of relationship this is.” Ask them if they want a committed relationship, or if they want it to be more casual and without labels.

Whatever their answer, the choice to continue the relationship or not is up to you. You might choose to end it in order to find someone who will commit (and trust us, there are plenty of people out there!), or you might choose to just ride it out and have fun. You can always bail later, if you do find someone else.

In any case, take the opportunity to set some boundaries . For example, are both of you allowed to see other people? Can you link up with each other’s friends? Or do you want to keep your lives more separate? Establishing boundaries and answering these questions might not make you “official,” but at least you won’t be in a situationship anymore, and you’ll know exactly where you stand.

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