How to Show Someone You Love Them

A comprehensive guide to showing someone that you care, each and every day

Co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Last Updated: December 12, 2024 Approved

When you love someone, you want them to know it. But sometimes it's not that easy to say those three little words. Sometimes it's easier to show people how you feel. When you say, 'I love you', many people take it as a cliché, but if you really want to show that you'll sacrifice life and limb for them, read on!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Through Words

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1
Send a letter . If you can't say the words out loud, try putting your feelings in a letter. Some people find that they can express themselves much better in writing than they can in person. Pour your heart into a letter, mail it and have them read it when you're not around. ^{[1]
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- Include details like why you were attracted to them in the first place, how you feel when you're around them, and how you envision your future together.
- An email would also work, but there's something old-fashioned and romantic about a letter.
- Reader Poll: We asked 991 wikiHow readers, and 57% of them agreed that the memory they cherish the most about their relationship is the moment they first met their partner or felt sparks fly . [Take Poll] So, this is a great memory to bring up in your letter.
Thank them . Showing your loved one a little appreciation now and then can go a long way. A smile and a quick "thank you" will do for the little things, but every so often you should sit them down, look them in the eye and tell them "I really appreciate everything you do for me, it means a lot." Thanking your loved one will make them feel needed and appreciated, which is important for any relationship. ^{[2]
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3
Tell them they're beautiful/handsome. Everyone likes to hear that the person they're with finds them attractive. Don't just assume they know how handsome or beautiful you think they are - tell them!
- Try an over-the-top compliment like "You're the most gorgeous man on the planet." It will make them feel special and let them know that you only have eyes for them.
- Or tell them something simple and sincere like "I can spot your smile from across the room" or "your eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue, I could stare at them all day."
This sounds simple, but its importance cannot be understated. In order to feel loved, a person needs to feel listened to and understood. It's easy to ask a person how they are out of habit, and not really listen to the answer. You should make a point of sitting down with your loved one and asking them to tell you how they're doing - honestly and sincerely. If they're perfectly happy - great, let them know that you are too. If they're not doing so well, ask what you can do to help or just lend them a sympathetic ear. ^{[3]
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5
Ask for their advice. Asking your loved one for advice shows that you care about and respect their opinion. It shows that you value their input and that you understand the importance of making decisions together, especially if a decision affects the two of you.
- If they have more knowledge on a certain topic, asking for their advice will flatter their ego, while also being beneficial to you, for example, when buying a car or new laptop.
- Ask for their advice on something relatively unimportant like whether you should buy the new Playstation or Xbox. They may not care all that much, but they'll appreciate you asking.
- For more serious matters, such as medical procedures or living arrangements, asking for your partners input is definitely recommended. If you fail to let them in on big decisions such as these, they may feel left out or unappreciated.
6
Say you're sorry . Know when you're wrong and admit it. Whether you broke their favorite mug or made an underhand comment during an argument, a genuine, unconditional apology can go a long way to resolving the situation and letting your partner know you care. ^{[4]
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- Refusing to say you're sorry will only cause tension and resentment. Even if you think you did nothing wrong, swallow your pride and say the words. Your relationship is worth it.
7
Write a romantic song or poem. What could be more romantic than sharing your feelings through a song or poem? (Hint: nothing). Through the words of a song or poem you can express all the sweet sentiments and warm, fuzzy feelings that you can't say to their face. Send your song recording or poem anonymously by mail for added romance factor.
- If you're not so creative, find some romantic words written by someone else and send your loved ones those instead. Look for romantic poems or letters written by great writers, such as Shakespeare, Lord Byron or Emily Dickinson.
- Alternatively, try dedicating a song to them. Whether it's before you sing on karaoke night or calling a request in to their favorite radio station, a song dedication is always romantic.
EXPERT TIP

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist
Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist

You can take a nonverbal approach if that makes more sense to you. Not everyone is a natural poet when it comes to expressing love. Feelings might be there, but the right words are sometimes hard to find. It's completely fine to show your love in non-verbal ways if that's more comfortable for you!
This might sound a little crazy, but you could just say it out loud, those three little words: "I love you." Say it at the movies, say it in bed, say it while you're dancing, say it over dinner, say it on the phone. It doesn't matter where or when, as long as you mean it.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Through Your Behavior

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Sometimes love isn't about making grand statements or over-the-top gestures, it's about the little, everyday things that define a relationship. Try doing things like opening a door for your loved one, bringing them their morning cup of coffee in bed or sending a quick text to let them know you're thinking about them throughout the day. ^{[5]
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Be affectionate . A soft kiss. A warm hug. Even a tender squeeze of the hand. These little displays of affection are the perfect way to communicate your love without saying a word. ^{[6]
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There's no room for selfishness when it comes to love. If you really care about someone, you'll share your thoughts, your blanket and even your last slice of pizza with them. ^{[7]
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You've heard it before, but there can be no love without trust. You need to trust your partner to make the right decisions, even when you're not around. It doesn't matter if it's trusting them when they say that nothing happened with their ex, or trusting them not to burn the dinner you left on the stove, you need to take them at their word. ^{[8]
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No matter how much you love someone, relationships can become boring if you allow yourselves to fall into a routine. Rekindle the spark by doing something spontaneous. Surprise your loved one by sending them flowers, calling them unexpectedly or planning a romantic getaway for the two of you. ^{[9]
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Whether it's a bang-up bacon and egg breakfast or a gourmet, ethnic-themed feast, show your love by feeding your special someone something delicious. The time and effort you put into it will be obvious to your loved one, while eating together will allow you to spend some quality time with each other. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach - but a tasty meal works equally well for either gender. ^{[10]
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Ina Garten, Television Personality & Cook

Cooking is an act of love. "Cooking is one of the great gifts you can give to those you love. It says “you’re important enough to me to spend the time and effort to cook for you."
7
Be honest . As mentioned already, trust is the key to a healthy relationship, and there can be no trust without honesty. You should tell your partner the truth about everything - whether you ate the last cookie or left the front door unlocked. ^{[11]
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- There are, however, a number of notable exceptions to this rule. Providing answers to the questions "does this make me look fat?" and "what do you think of my parents?" being two such exceptions.
Encourage them to pursue their dreams . If you truly love someone, you'll want them to be the best that they can be and to pursue their dreams no matter the consequences. Don't hold them back for your own selfish reasons - they'll only end up resenting you for it. If they want to learn the violin, put up with their ear-splitting practice sessions (or invest in a pair of earplugs.) If they want to study or work abroad, figure out a way to make the relationship work. They say love is about compromise, but nobody should have to sacrifice their dreams. ^{[12]
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To really show someone you love them, be there for them through thick and thin. Share their joy and their pain. Celebrate with them when they get a promotion at work or help them through the death of a beloved family member. Being there for someone can be as simple as sharing a drink together at the end of the week, or as important as giving them a shoulder to cry on when they're feeling low. ^{[13]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Through Gifts

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1
Send them flowers. It may seem cliché or overdone, but nothing says "I love you" like a beautiful bunch of flowers, especially if they're her (or his) favorite. Make sure they are presented nicely. Attach a romantic note or send them anonymously. Present them in person or have them delivered to your loved one's home or office building. Flowers are a classic romantic gift that will never go out of fashion. ^{[14]
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- Try to make sure that you send flowers that your partner likes. Sure, it's the thought that counts, but you'll get extra points for choosing the right flowers. If you don't know their favorite varieties and want to go for something classic instead, you really can't go wrong with red roses.
Make your loved one a mix CD of the songs that remind you of them or your relationship, or even songs you just think they would like. Maybe ask them innocently to find their taste. A mix CD is a great gift because it shows you put time and consideration into finding music they would like. If you get it right and they love the tracks, it shows that you listen to them and know them on an intimate level. ^{[15]
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Pick somewhere in nature that's special to you - your childhood home or your favorite place to relax and think. Then collect a token from that place and give it to your loved one. Give them a seashell, a pretty rock, a bird feather or whatever small, cute thing you can find. Tell them that you saw it and instantly thought of them. Tell them that it's a piece of you that you would like them to have and keep safe. They will feel special and closer to you as a result.
4
Buy or make coupons for romantic activities. Buy or make a coupon book that you can give to your loved one, with coupons they can cash in for romantic activities at any time. These are available to buy online or in certain gift stores, but it's better if you make your own. That way you can personalize it and get more creative with your couponing. Wink, wink.
- Think of things like a coupon for a romantic dinner, a coupon for one hundred kisses, or a coupon for a sensual massage.
- Alternatively, they could be coupons for everyday activities such as a passes on doing the dishes or walking the dog, even if it's their turn. This isn't as romantic, but your partner will surely appreciate them nonetheless.
5
Frame a picture of the two of you. Frame a picture of you and your loved one together. ^{[16]
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Research source} Pick a photograph where the two of you look happy and are clearly enjoying each other's company. Give it to your loved one and tell them why you chose that particular picture and what memories it brings back. Their heart might just melt a little.
- Before framing, date the picture and perhaps write a little note on the back. Then choose a pretty frame, and wrap it in a box or just tie a ribbon around it.
- Make sure it's a photo of themselves that they like. They won't want to display it if they have something in their teeth or their eyes are half closed. Present it in a pretty frame.
6
Bring them balloons. If you're looking for something cute and fun to give your loved one, consider a bunch of balloons. Balloons are over-the-top and attention grabbing, so if you're looking to make a big statement, this is it. Just watch their face when they see you coming, it'll be priceless.
- Choose a bunch with your partner's favorite colors and tie with vivid ribbons. The louder the better.
- Make sure to get helium balloons, they look happier than the non-floating type.
7
Get them tickets to something they like. Surprise your loved one by getting them tickets to see something they like, whether it's tickets to see their favorite band or tickets to a movie they've been wanting to see, or tickets to a sports event. This gift shows that you listen to your partner, that you support their interests and that you would do anything to make them happy.
- You'll need to be selfless with this one - even if it's something that bores you to tears, like ballet or monster trucks. The point is that it's something they like.
- Make sure their schedule is free before you buy the tickets. Even if they appreciate the thought, it'll be disappointing if they're not able to make it.

Expert Q&A

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Question

What are love languages?

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Allen Wagner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. After working as a therapist at the Children’s Bureau and Penny Lane Centers, he opened his own practice in 2008. Allen works with both individuals and couples and has 20 years of experience as a therapist. Allen specializes in helping clients improve their relationships, assisting people in managing life transitions, improving communication in all environments, and identifying realistic and positive goals. Alongside his wife Talia Wagner, he authored the book "Married Roommates". He received an MA in Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Film and Creative Writing from the University of Arizona.

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Love languages are the different ways you can demonstrate to someone that you care. One great way to find out what your partner's love language is to ask them how they celebrated successes when they were a kid. How did their family or friends cheer them up if they were down or upset? For instance, if a person's parents weren't very affectionate or verbally expressive but they gave thoughtful gifts, then that person might still attach a lot of emotional significance to gifts.

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Tips

Don't ignore or neglect your loved one. They will think you don't care.

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Words aren’t always enough. Do things like telling other people you love them, showing them to your friends and family, and making them feel included in your life. Make them feel like you are proud to have them and are not hiding them.

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Don't be too shy or afraid of rejection. Everyone loves to be loved.

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Warnings

If you work up the courage to say, "I love you", don't be too discouraged if the other person doesn't say it back yet. Expressing feelings of love can be scary, and they might just need more time.

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How to Show Someone You Love Them

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Through Gifts

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