A good work-life balance is key to being healthy and happy. But sometimes it’s tough to forget about those unread emails and looming deadlines. If you’re spending most of your personal time thinking about work, try being more present in the moment, finding something to distract yourself, or establishing better boundaries between home and the office.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Managing Your Thoughts
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Consider any cognitive distortions you may have about work. Cognitive distortions are thoughts you have that may not reflect the full reality of a situation or that make things seem worse than they really are. These can contribute to negative emotions and job dissatisfaction if left unchecked. Common cognitive distortions surrounding the workplace include: [1] X Research source
- Over-generalizing a single negative event as a universal rule, such as thinking your boss hates you when they reprimanded you once.
- Mentally filtering out the non-negative parts of your day. If you had a long, tedious meeting, for example, by only focusing on that you forget about the great lunch you had with your coworkers or the client complimenting your exceptional service.
- Jumping to conclusions, such as thinking you're first on the chopping block when your company announces that their sales weren't as good as expected this quarter.
- Making "should" statements like "I should be making $50,000 a year by now" or "I should get a promotion for how hard I work."
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Put things into perspective by using the 5-year rule. When something at work is bothering you or stressing you, ask yourself, “Will it matter in 5 years?” If the answer is no, stop stressing about it. This practice helps you remember the big picture and what is really important.
- For example, if you trip up during a big presentation at a meeting, will it matter in 5 years? No. But if you skip the presentation and get fired as a result, will it matter? Yes.
- The 5-year rule also helps you prioritize tasks. Focus on the things that will matter in 5 years and don’t let the things that won’t matter take over your life.
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Snap a rubber band on your wrist whenever you think about work. Place a rubber band around your wrist. Each time a work thought pops up in your head, lightly snap the band against your wrist. This will literally "snap" you back to the present moment. Then refocus your brain onto something else. [2] X Research source
- The slight sting of the rubber band trains your brain to stop thinking about work because it wants your body to avoid being snapped by the band.
- Don't snap the rubber band so hard that it leaves a mark. You aren't trying to hurt yourself.
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Allow yourself only 10 minutes to think about work each day. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write down everything work-related that’s on your mind in a notebook or in the notes app on your phone. When the 10 minutes is up, put the notebook away or close the app. Don't think about work the rest of the day. [3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Schedule your 10-minute chunks in a planner or calendar the same way you would schedule a meeting. This provides structure to your ruminating.
- Avoiding thoughts completely is unrealistic and actually worsens your anxiety.
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Practice being present with a daily 10-minute meditation routine. Set a timer for 10 minutes and sit in a comfortable position on the floor with your eyes closed. Focus your attention on the sensations of your breath and what it feels like coming in and out of your nostrils. When a thought pops up, acknowledge it and then return your attention to your breath. [4] X Research source
- Focusing on your breath takes your mind away from thinking about work. It also forces you to slow down and relax.
- Meditate for as long as you’d like. 10 minutes is a good place for beginners to start.
- Download an app on your phone that offers free meditation routines or follow along with a guided meditation video online.
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See a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), you’ll identify negative thought patterns and behaviors and then learn to replace them with positive habits. Your therapist will also help you improve how you manage and cope with stress. [5] X Research source
- At therapy, vent all you’d like and get your problems off your chest without being judged or facing consequences. Talking things through is a great release.
- Contact your health insurance provider for a list of therapists in your area that are covered. If you choose one in your plan, you’ll likely only have to pay a small copay for each visit.
- Some employers may also offer an employee assistance program (EAP) that will cover short-term mental health care if you're experiencing a personal problem. EAPs may only cover a limited number of sessions, so check with your program in advance.
- How often you see your therapist is up to you. If you feel you need more support, go once a week. Check with your health insurance company to see if there’s a limit to how many sessions they will cover.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Distracting Your Brain
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Structure your free time so there’s no time to think about work. The more activities you have scheduled after hours, the less time there is for your mind to wander back to work issues. At the start of each week, plan how you’ll spend your evenings, from going to happy hour with friends to running errands. Do the same for the upcoming weekend on Thursday or Friday. [6] X Research source
- Map out your week in a planner or use a calendar app on your phone.
- Don’t just fill your schedule with social events. Having some downtime to relax is equally important. But come up with ways to spend that time, too, like reading a book or playing with your dog.
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Find a new hobby to focus on in your personal time. Channel your brainpower towards teaching yourself a new skill or taking up a hobby like baking, woodworking, or gaming. To pick one, think about what your passions are, what you enjoyed doing as a child, or what you’ve always wanted to try. Commit to practicing or doing your new hobby at least 3 days a week. [7] X Research source
- Don’t get frustrated if you struggle with learning a skill or hobby. It takes time to get used to something so give it a chance before you give up. The more you do it, the better you get and the more fun you’ll have.
- There are plenty of free online courses for learning anything from a foreign language to computer programming.
- Choose a hobby that’s completely unrelated to work. If you’re an accountant, for example, try a creative hobby like painting or playing an instrument instead of something that uses the same part of your brain that work does, like mastering Excel.
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Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day to relieve stress. Not only does physical activity boost the endorphins in your brain, putting you in a better mood, it also gets rid of tension and lowers stress. Plus, when you’re focusing on putting one foot in front of the other or counting reps, you aren’t thinking about work. Win-win.
- Challenging workouts or workouts that incorporate intervals require you to really focus on what you’re doing. Something like a boxing circuit workout or a Zumba class provides a better distraction than a long run where you’re left alone with your thoughts. [8] X Research source
- If you don’t have time for 30 minutes of exercise all at once, break it up into smaller chunks. Take 3 10-minute walks or do 5 minutes of push ups and sit ups 6 times throughout the day.
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Join a social group with people who aren't your coworkers. Socializing will distract you from thinking about work, particularly if you hang out with people who you don't spend all day with at the office. Sign up for a social sports league or look for groups, classes, or book clubs that are being offered at local spots like the gym or library. Ask your friends if they know of any groups you can join. [9] X Research source
- There are websites like Meetup.com where you can search for groups in your area based on your interests.
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Plan and take a work-free vacation to fully recharge. Leave your work computer and phone at home, plan activities that will keep you busy during your break, and focus on enjoying the sights and the people you’re with. Make sure to tie up any loose ends and prepare a plan for coverage at work before you leave so you aren’t worrying while you’re away. Don’t forget to set an out of office email since you won’t (or shouldn’t) be checking your inbox. [10] X Research source
- You don't have to spend a lot of money or go somewhere far away. Even a “staycation” where you take a few days off to yourself at home can help you reset.
- Spend a couple of weeks planning your getaway to shift your focus off work. Read travel books, look at pictures of wherever you’re going on Instagram, and drafting an itinerary are enough to keep your brain busy.
- A sample out of office email looks like: “Thank you for your email. I’m out of the office starting August 17th and won’t return until August 24th. If you need immediate assistance, please contact my colleague at (123) 456-7891. Otherwise, I’ll respond to your email when I return. Thanks!” [11] X Research source
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Setting Boundaries
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Develop routines to help you transition from work to home. Your brain can’t immediately shut off as soon as you step out of the office. Train your mind to slowly power down by creating “transition rituals” to fill the space between the time you leave work to the time you walk through the door at home. [12] X Research source Call a friend while you drive, turn on an audio book, or stop at the gym for a quick workout.
- The key is just to do something to break up the time between work and home so you aren’t bringing all of your work thoughts home with you. Give yourself time to unwind before you even get home.
- The same logic applies to your morning habits as well. Prepare your brain to start going into work mode by establishing transition rituals like stopping for coffee or listening to a podcast.
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Leave work at the office by reviewing your to-do list at the end of the day. Check off what you’ve accomplished and then add everything you want to get done the next day before leaving the office. Knowing that you’ve completed the tasks you need to do and that you’re prepared for the following day will relieve some anxiety so you won’t be frantically obsessing over the list in your head at night. [13] X Research source
- Keep a running to-do list in a notebook or use an app specifically for list-making on your smartphone or tablet.
- A lot of stress comes from feeling out of control with work projects and deadlines. Improving your organization and planning goes a long way in decreasing how much you think about work.
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Turn off all electronics at least once a day. Schedule time to unplug or put away all of your electronics (your phone, tablet, computer, etc.) each day. It could be that you don’t check your emails after 8 p.m. or that you don’t answer the phone during dinner. No matter what it is, commit to it and resist the urge to check emails or take calls, even if you really feel like you should.
- Sleep with your phone on airplane mode or the “Do Not Disturb” setting to avoid being woken up by email alerts or calls. If you use “Do Not Disturb,” you can adjust the settings to allow calls from certain contacts to come through in case of emergencies. [14] X Research source
- Have a work phone and a personal phone. If you enjoy using your phone for social media or games, you can do those things without being distracted by work notifications.
- A full weekend “digital detox” where you unplug from Friday evening to Sunday evening can really help you disconnect from work and eliminate overbearing thoughts.
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Designate a space in your home that’s just for work. Keep any work that you do have to bring home contained to one area, like an office or guest room. If you do work at the kitchen table or living room sofa, for example, you’ll condition your brain to think about work when you’re in those spots off-hours, too. [15] X Research source
- Never bring your laptop or work phone into the bedroom. Working where you sleep disrupts your sleep cycle because your brain begins associating the bedroom with work and won’t shut down as easily at night. [16] X Research source
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Limit how much you talk about work at home. There’s a difference between answering “how was your day?” and going on an hour-long rant about your newest colleague. Complaining about work or even just recounting a work issue keeps you focused on it and reinforces negative thoughts. Start conversations with your family or friends on topics that focus on anything besides work.
- Let people know that you’re making an effort not to talk about work as much. Not only will that help them know what’s off-limits in conversation, it will also let them hold you accountable. If you start going off about work, they’ll stop you.
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Tips
- Talk to your boss if you feel overwhelmed at work. Ask if you can delegate some of your tasks or lighten your workload.Thanks
- Consider quitting your job. If work is taking over your life, evaluate your situation and ask yourself if you’re really happy or if you need a job that’s a better fit for your needs.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.pacwrc.pitt.edu/Curriculum/313_MngngImpctTrmtcStrssChldWlfrPrfssnl/hndts/HO15_ThnkngAbtThnkng.pdf
- ↑ http://stunningmotivation.com/7-effective-techniques-conquer-negative-thoughts/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2017/08/how-to-forget-about-work-when-youre-not-working
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/dinakaplan/2017/03/24/10-minute-mindfulness-meditation-to-reduce-stress/#3aa4eb06d02e
- ↑ https://www.self.com/story/9-things-you-should-know-about-cognitive-behavioral-therapy
- ↑ https://zenhabits.net/how-to-stop-being-a-workaholic/
- ↑ https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2018/02/how-do-adults-find-new-hobbies/
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2017/04/the-speedy-workout-that-changes-your-brain.html
- ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/247563
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyamohn/2014/02/28/take-a-vacation-its-good-for-productivity-and-the-economy-according-to-a-new-study/#1281a1655a33
- ↑ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/7-examples-professional-out-office-email-messages-carla-jordan/
- ↑ https://www.themuse.com/advice/3-ways-to-stop-thinking-about-work-when-youre-not-there
- ↑ https://www.chatelaine.com/living/how-to-stop-thinking-about-work-and-get-some-sleep/
- ↑ https://www.macworld.com/article/3034720/ios/how-to-master-do-not-disturb-on-ios.html
- ↑ https://www.chatelaine.com/living/how-to-stop-thinking-about-work-and-get-some-sleep/
- ↑ https://open.buffer.com/work-bed/
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