Am I a Dom, Sub, or Switch?

Take this quiz to find your BDSM role!

BDSM is all about power dynamics. Are you a dom who takes charge, a sub who follows orders, or a switch who likes both? Or, are you totally vanilla?

Answer these sweet and spicy personality questions, and we’ll tell you who you are in the bedroom.

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Questions Overview

1. Imagine you're on a date at a fancy restaurant. Who's paying for the meal?
  1. My date is paying. They're the one treating me.
  2. I'm paying. I like to take care of my date.
  3. We're splitting the check evenly.
  4. We're each paying for our own food. That's just fair.
2. You and your date are super close and locking eyes. You want to kiss them. What do you do?
  1. I go for it! The moment's right, and I can't wait.
  2. I wait for them to kiss me.
  3. I come a little closer, but let them close the distance.
  4. I tell them I want to kiss them, and wait and see how they react.
3. How do you feel about having your hair pulled in the bedroom?
  1. I like hair pulling, but only if I’m the one doing it.
  2. Sure, but I don’t want to be the one pulling the hair.
  3. Yes, and I want to try both pulling and having my hair pulled.
  4. Nah, I don't think I'd enjoy that.
4. Would you ever want to experiment with tying someone up in the bedroom?
  1. Yes! I want to be the one doing the tying.
  2. Yes, but I want to be the one being tied up.
  3. Sure, I'd want to try both tying someone up and being tied up.
  4. Nah, that doesn't sound like it's for me.
5. Your date can't decide what they want to order from the menu. What do you do?
  1. I order for them when the waiter comes. I know what they'll like.
  2. I wait for them to make up their mind. There's no rush.
  3. I recommend something to try, but I don't pressure them.
6. If you wanted to try something new in the bedroom, how would you approach it?
  1. Take charge and tell my partner what to do (as long as they're comfortable, of course).
  2. Ask my partner if we can try it beforehand, so we can plan it out.
  3. Beg for it in the moment. I want my partner to enjoy the fantasy, too.
7. When you’re in the bedroom, what kind of feedback do you respond best to?
  1. Praise. I like to be encouraged for pressing the right buttons.
  2. Criticism. I like a little attitude.
  3. I don't usually need feedback. I can tell how I’m doing by how much they’re enjoying it.
  4. Constructive. I want to make my partner feel the best I can.
8. Who's wearing the blindfold in the bedroom?
  1. Me! It's more exciting when I can't see.
  2. My partner. I like to tease them.
  3. Can we both be blindfolded?
  4. Nobody. That's not my thing.
9. When you have a crush, are you the type to ask them out?
  1. Totally. Life is short, why wait around? I chase what I want!
  2. Maybe, if I like them enough.
  3. Nah. I might try to catch their attention, but I wait for them to make a move.
10. What outfit would make you feel sexiest?
  1. Nude is sexiest!
  2. Lingerie, or something skimpy.
  3. Something revealing, but not too revealing, like an unbuttoned shirt or backless dress.
  4. Something sharp, elegant, and modest, like a suit or a nice blouse.
11. How do you react to ~spicy~ scenes in movies or TV shows?
  1. I watch closely. They're my favorite parts!
  2. I act normal and casual. They're just a part of the story.
  3. I pretend not to be into it, but it's hard to look away...
  4. I skip past them, when I can. They make me uncomfortable.
12. Do you find talking while hooking up attractive?
  1. I like it when my partner talks, but I don't want to talk.
  2. I like to talk, but I don't like it when my partner talks.
  3. I like it when we're both vocal and talking.
  4. I don't know.

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Your bedroom strengths:<\/b> Down for anything, attentive, responsive, laid-back

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About Subs & Doms

What is BDSM?
BDSM stands for “bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism.” It’s a sexual practice or kink that usually involves power dynamics between partners, as well as inflicting pain for sexual pleasure.

What is a sub?
Sub is short for “submissive,” and refers to someone who prefers to take a passive role during sex, being told what to do, and following their partner’s lead.

What is a dom?
Dom is short for “dominant,” and refers to someone who prefers to take an active, in-charge role during sex, often leading the experience.

What is a switch?
A switch is someone who likes to be both dominant and submissive. They often switch these roles.

What is the appeal of a dom and sub dynamic?
It’s all about power fantasies, and exploring those fantasies in a safe, trusting, and pleasurable environment. Some people find it sexy to be ordered around, and others find it pleasurable to do the ordering. BDSM provides a context where this can happen without abuse, when the people involved consent and trust each other.

Are dominant and submissive relationships healthy? Sure, they can be! As long as everyone involved consents and practices open and honest communication, there’s no problem. Usually, though, it’s healthiest and safest to keep these roles in the bedroom.

Want to learn more?

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